


10 More Seconds

by Dawnie7



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Safe-Zone, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Disorder, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Feels, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Sexual Assault, So We'll Say Slow Burn (Very Slow), Strained Relationships, Terminus (The Walking Dead), The Claimers - Freeform, The Sanctuary, possibly more - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2020-01-16 15:50:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 60,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18524686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnie7/pseuds/Dawnie7
Summary: It was getting increasingly harder to go it alone. After a bad run in, Tess Foster is just desperately trying to keep it together long enough to find a safe place to store the only cargo she has left worth protecting. She just needed a few minutes, just enough to gather herself and come up with a new game plan. She just needed to hold on a little longer. Just 10 more seconds.





	1. Just Try

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, please bear with me and the long winded A/N I'm about to launch into.  
> So this is the first crack I've made at writing fan fiction in about, 8 years or so, and I'm painfully aware of how.....amateurish it was then and I have no idea if things have improved or not, so any and all constructive criticism is very much welcomed. I know, if nothing else, my spelling and grammar have always left something to be desired, but I am trying, promise! This whole thing started as a random one shot that I started scribbling down a few years ago but never had anything to do with it, but with my renewed excitement over TWD with this past season, plus a massive flux in anxiety issues, I started getting more into it and hopefully have come up with a decent enough little diddy. The original plan WAS to make this a Daryl/OC romantic story, but as it stands I'm about halfway through writing what I have planned and these two just aren't working with me so the game plan right now has switched to such:  
> This will be a mostly Daryl/ OC friendship with a few blink and you'll miss it moments of something more. I'm hoping to take this installment to the start of All Out War with The Saviors, then skip the actual war because I feel like if I involve it it'll just be several chapters of episode transcripts with a line every so often saying 'oh, and she was over here during this..' and start a second part of mostly stand alone (but connecting) one shots focusing on different events after the war. And, hopefully, this will be updated weekly.....but don't hold me to that. Life, and all that crap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really great gal on here who has quickly become a good fan fiction buddy of mine Incog_Ninja is working hard to help out her cousin who, along with her 2 boys are in need of some serious help to get out of a bad situation for good. So if you can at all spare the time, please check out her gofundme page:
> 
> https://www.gofundme.com/f/the-faith-freedom-fund?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet

_10 More Seconds. Just hold on for 10 more seconds._

It was something her grandfather had always said to her. A Vietnam vet who always had a word of advice or a way to fight through something. It started when she was 11. Tuesdays and Thursdays were P.E. days, and they always started the same - with running.

She was no runner.

It was never from lack of trying though. She always wanted to be a good runner, had always had this romanticized fantasy of running freely through the woods or a lush forest, with nothing but a clear head and the wind rushing around her. An escape. For so long it had sounded like heaven to her. In theory, anyways. In practice...

She was no runner.

Regardless of the determination to improve and all the practice she had put in to increasing her cardio and speed skills it never seemed to matter much. By the end of the year she had only improve her time by roughly five seconds, a trend that continued until she graduated high school. It also didn't help matters that puberty had not been at all kind to her. Her previous baby fat had multiplied and solidified and, despite her mother's desperate attempts to make her only daughter  _'beautiful'_  again, it wouldn't go away and would stick with her late into her senior year. And, naturally, of course, all the other kids were very good and consistent in letting her know that it was her weight that made her so slow. And lazy. And worthless. And...all the other cruel things kids are known to say. So when her 11 year old self had come home in tears one afternoon and was caught by her grandfather before she could make it to the shelter of her room, he refused to release her until she came clean about what had been bothering her. And just like always when it was only him and her, she caved quickly.

He let her cry everything out, continuously wiped her tears away while she launched into the long winded speech about how horrible her life was and how it would never get any better, and cleaned up her running nose when she finished with a much too dramatic declaration that she would never, ever, in her entire life, be happy again. He helped her through it and watched it all with practiced patience and minor amusement, that she luckily was too young and distraught to catch, speckling his warm brown eyes.

When she had finally wrapped it all up and had calmed down enough to quell the hiccups that always followed when she had a big crying fit, he removed her from the knee he had had her perched upon and stood her directly in front of him so he could look her straight in the eye.

_"Now you listen to me little bird. The most important thing you can do in life is try. There's nothing wrong in not being able to do something, and no shame in having to ask for help, but you have to at least try. So, whenever you feel like you can't do something, or that you have nothing left to give - just hold on for 10 more seconds."_

She had simply nodded along and then finally retreated to her room when he allowed her to be excused. She never would have said it, least of all to him, but it had sounded dumb to her at the time. What didn't he get? If she could hold on any longer then it wouldn't be such a problem. But then she got older and, thankfully before his 69th birthday and subsequent death the day after, she realized he had only been planting the seeds for her to harvest later on in life.

And so, as she stood here now, practically dead on her feet already, her head, along with the entire world around her it seemed, spinning so badly she couldn't even take a guess as to what was up or down and ready to just throw in the towel already, she managed to get a slight glimpse of something off to the side of her peripheral vision.

Brown eyes. Brown eyes that were never suppose to even be here. Big, dark and oh so depending that she instantly knew. This was one of those times.

**_Just 10 more seconds. Hold on for just 10. More. Seconds._ **

With one last spurt of gas she knew she shouldn't possibly have left, she dug down with everything she could muster and pushed against her current road block with everything she had. Her whole body screamed in protest and in her mind, she let out a primal scream for survival. She was almost positive she didn't, but it sounded good and seemed like a cool mental image to motivate herself with.

Just as she began to wonder what on earth this fucking couch was made of to make it so heavy and unmoving, she heard the scraping of wood on wood just before the whole thing lurched forward against the infinitely lighter book case she had first manged to brace against the door.

She collapsed to the floor and against the side of the couch. She took only a moment then made to reposition herself, but only managed to turn slightly so that she fell back and was now resting against the wall.

She just needed to close her eyes.

Everything was so loud. Her heartbeat pounding at every pulse point, the blood rushing in her ears. It was all so deafening. She just needed it to quiet down some.

After some time, she couldn't know how long, the rushing slowed. The pounding lessened. Soon she was able to start catching hints of other things. Her ragged breathing. The hungry growls from the walkers that were still digging and clawing to get in. Then, just barely but there all the same, soft shuffling. It was that sound that called for her to reopen her eyes.

Brown. That's what she was met with. The familiar, warm brown eyes that were big and staring as always. Her vision was really starting to cloud heavier at the edges now and she couldn't help but to wonder if perhaps she was already dead, the way he seemed to just stare straight through her. But then his hand came up, clutching the same damn yellow hanky he was never without, and slowly started to wipe at the blood that had gushed from her nose and stained over her lips as it seeped down. There were other places. So many other places. But this was the area that seemed to cause him the most concern and it was that little bit of comforting touch that finally allowed her to release her breath.

They were fine. They were safe. For now only, maybe, but that was all that mattered. They just needed some time. Time to sort things out. Time to reevaluate. Time to just...be.

She wasn't even aware that her head had lolled off to the side. She wasn't aware of the concerned brown eyes that followed the movement.

She just needed a minute. Just a few minutes to rest up. That's all.

Just 10 more seconds.


	2. Changing Colors

She had never woken up from a dream. Not once in her entire life. It wasn't that she didn't dream, quite the opposite, she had just never woken up from one. If she was having a bad or upsetting dream she was stuck there for the duration of it, no exceptions. And she was never dreaming or coming out of dreaming when she would wake up in the mornings. So she was never able to understand or comprehend when in books and movies and t.v the characters would equate something to _'waking up from a dream'._ A dreamy, foggy haze that you had to float through as you determine if what you're experiencing is actually real or not on your way back to the waking world.

At the age of 34, she was finally experiencing it for the first time.

And it sucked.

She didn't feel anything at first, just the haze. It felt like being submerged underwater. Conscious, but not really aware of what's going on above the surface. Only the muted buzzing sound and the feeling of both floating and not being able to move at the same time. The sensation made her start to panic until she felt the _other_ thing.

Not pain, surprisingly.  _Fortunately,_  but surprisingly.

No, this was something else. She couldn't place a finger on it, but it was definitely  _something._

Her eyelids fluttered ever so slightly, just enough to test them before she blinded herself by opening them to straight daylight. Her eyesight was significantly worse than it was when she was last awake and she was just barely able to make out the shapes surrounding her. Two that were right in front of her. Except...

Those two shapes should only be one. And both of them were much bigger than the one she should have been seeing and was expecting to see.

That was enough. She sobered up almost instantly.

The eyes are what caught her attention first. Two sets. Two sets of blue eyes but vastly different beyond that. One set wide and alert, guarded, but also aware and taking stock of the situation. The other set however...

Hard. Icy. Narrowed. Accusing.

_Shit._

It took nothing more than a fleeting second for her to understand just how screwed she was. She wouldn't try to fight back. Not this time, Even in the off chance they hadn't already stripped her of the one knife she had left attached to her there was just no physical way she could defend herself. Not again. Not today. Not with both of them. Hell, not even with one. She may have been reckless from time to time but she always liked to think that she wasn't outright stupid.

It didn't stop the anxiety and frustration from bubbling to the surface though and her right hand had subconsciously flexed. Icy blue noticed immediately and must have thought she was getting ready to try something, for he took a step forward and it was only then that she finally took notice of the arrow pointed at the center of her forehead for the first time.

"Ah ah. _Don't. Move._ "

It seemed barely a whisper, a perfect contradiction. Soft and light yet hard and commanding. Accompanied by that cold as ice stare and it completely shook her to the core and had her instantly frozen to her spot. But the slight fear it encouraged also sparked something else. Another thought that had left her briefly due to her mind still being so sluggish and struggling to catch up but was now returning like a wailing siren.

Where was that third shape?

She knew the panic registered on her face before she could even attempt to stop it and if the fear hadn't had been so intense she would have smacked herself for it. She knew, above all else, that if you wanted to survive in this new world you had to follow one very important rule:

** Never let them know what's important to you. **

It was a two second blur that felt as if it had stretched on for hours. She was vaguely aware of trying to move, saw the way icy blue tensed up even more and went to make a move to do, she could only imagine what, when big blue made her presence known.

"He's fine."

Everything stopped again. The voice was soft, somewhat nervous but seemed genuine even with the slight shake. And she desperately wanted to believe it, but...

Big blue spoke up again when she seen the hesitation. "He's fine." She reiterated with a single nod of confirmation. "Your boy is fine."

As if on cue she watched brown eyes poke out from around the girl who had him, in a seemingly protective manner, hidden behind her. He was there and still unharmed.

The relief was imminent as her head came to rest against the wall once more, and it clearly showed and hit something, because suddenly icy blue wasn't quite as tense as he had been moments before. As if her display of care and worry for the young child was enough to ease something within him. It wasn't much. He still had the arrow perfectly aimed and ready to go and he still looked like he rather die than trust her. But she could see in his hard, steely eyes that something about her had come off as a little less threatening to him in that moment.

_'Appreciate the little things'_ she could hear her grandfather's jolly voice ringing in her ear.

"You got a group?"

That was what he asked her. His voice was louder this time than it had been the first but it still sounded rough like gravel, and that was the question he asked her.

Because of course it was.

She almost rolled her eyes despite herself.  _Almost._

It had become the single handed most hated question of this new world, a double edge sword because in her experience there was no right answer. If you admitted to being with a group then that was the next visit and it never ended good, and if you admitted to being alone, well then. You open yourself up to an even bigger can of worms. It was exactly how she ended up in this run down shack to begin with.

The stalled answer was noticed immediately, just as she knew it would be. This time even big blue tensed up in the corner, effectively bringing the boy back behind her. But it was icy blue that was in charge and he was not one bit happy.

"Hey!" it was a bark thrown in her face that completely disoriented her. "I asked ya a question, you got a group or not?!"

She wasn't trying to piss him off, she truly wasn't. She had no games to play, nothing to bargain with. It was just too much. All of it. The running and the fighting from earlier. Now the interrogation and yelling. She could feel her body switching into sensory overload and shutting down. Her vision was glazing over again and she could vaguely hear icy blue yelling something at her and maybe even perhaps the girl calling something out before she started to feel herself falling forward.

"ANSWER ME!"

Then, just as suddenly, she was jerked back and the back of her head hitting the wall behind her is what snapped her back to reality once again, with a gasp, and the incidental movement she caught him making, not sure what his intentions were, got her back in the game.

"Me!" she squeaked out as quickly as she could, cutting off whatever it was he was about to say. The sudden attempt at talking had her coughing and wheezing for a moment and she had to spit out the small mouthful of blood the action had brought up. She took a second to make sure her breathing was stable and lowered her hands that had come up on reflex for protection before continuing. "Me, just me." She raised her head some to connect with brown eyes. "Just us."

It was quiet again. For some time, it seemed. Everybody was watching everybody else. Or, she was waiting for their decision.  _They_  were watching.

Watching. Analyzing. Judging. Determining.

She wanted to stay connected to the brown eyes, should the outcome not be good. She wanted to at least be able to assure him somehow, that if this was indeed the end, she wasn't leaving him. She would always be right there with him. It was because of that connection she was trying to make with him that caused her to miss the head to toe once over icy blue had given her.

"And the ones who did this to ya..." her eyes rose to meet his meekly. His voice was back to that commanding whisper it had started as, she wasn't sure which was more intimidating. "What happened to them?"

Ever the tracker he had no problems seeing it. The flash. The anger. The darkness. Her eyes hardening so much so that if it wasn't for her face he might not have recognized it as the same person. For the first time in the past several minutes, she seemed perfectly collected.

" _Gone._ "

It was as vague an answer as you could get. And yet, not. He had been out in the world after all. He knew what a lot of people had turned into. Hell, they had just gone through it themselves. Seeing the shape she was in, the fire that ignited instantly at the mention of it, they may not have details but it wasn't too hard to theorize what had happened.

He spared a quick glance back at his traveling companion and it seemed they had both come to the same conclusion: If this woman was going to be a threat, it wasn't going to be to them. They both knew it, could feel it in their bones. The girl gave him a small nod that he returned, and when he faced the woman in front of him again his crossbow was already mostly lowered.

If she wasn't so exhausted she could have cried out in relief. She could see it too, that they wouldn't hurt either of them and that they knew she wouldn't hurt them.

"Ya'll got names?" he was still all rough edges and gruff voice, but he seemed decidedly more approachable.

_'Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.'_

Grandfather. His voice was ever present.

She grabbed both hands that were suddenly offered to her. "Tess." it came out as they helped her stand, something between a croak and a whimper. The young girl was helping her to lean against the couch and it almost seemed like there was a delicate hand rubbing soothing circles on her back while she caught her breath again. She didn't know if it was really happening or not, but it was nice regardless. It had been a long time since she had felt any kind of soothing touch. "And this," she rested her hand on the young boy's shoulder, noting he had finally come from his corner to stand by her, "is Luke."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ― The quote at the end there about progress is by Frank Zappa


	3. Vulnerable

Daryl and Beth.

Those were the names she eventually got in return.

There were more questions after that. The usual stuff, plus another set of three that sounded like they were being asked as an oral exam. Another sort of test to judge her character. Just because they didn't see her as a current threat didn't mean they trusted her fully. How could anyone these days?

_How many walkers have you killed? How many people have you killed? Why?_

Simple enough questions that she had simple enough answers for.

Her walker kill -a new term to her ears- she estimated to be around 30 but couldn't possibly be sure of an exact number. She wasn't sure how anyone could really be keeping track of such a thing.

Her people kill was, recently, updated to 3.

The why was the same for all three - she had to.

For the second two it was a matter of their lives or hers, and, most likely, Luke's.

For the first...she just had to.

Apparently her answers were satisfactory enough for now, even if it was blatantly obvious that that last answer wasn't the most becoming of her. She could see the way the man, Daryl, gave her a lingering look on that one. She could see the thoughts swirling around in his eyes, attempting to spot something about her that could lead him to a more solid image. But still, it was enough for now.

After a quick search of the little shack that produced next to nothing they could actually use, save for a few random packs of crackers, the new couple -she assumed that's what they were- got her situated on the couch before Beth insisted on looking her over. From what Tess could make out and comprehend from the words coming out and floating around her, still having trouble with focusing, Beth had at least a basic understanding of medical care thanks to her dad. The solemn looks that passed over both their faces and the sadness that filed the air let her know he was no longer with them. Her guess would be that it was relatively recently too.

Not counting the various cuts, scrapes and bruises that were littered everywhere along with the massive swelling, her major list of injuries included a broken nose, a black left eye that had an accompanying laceration on the side of her temple just above her eyebrow, several bruised ribs - per Beth's best guess - and a nasty looking gash on her left side spanning from right under her left shoulder blade to down around her rib cage in a long curve before dropping somewhat jaggedly to right above her hip bone. That one definitely gathered intrigue as to the origin. It was also the one they were worried about. It wasn't  _too deep_ , save the first three inch or so at the very top, and it wasn't bleeding excessively, at the moment anyways, but there was a slow, continuous seeping. Plus there was the risk of it getting infected. It definitely could have used to be stitched up but they had nothing to achieve that with. So they did the best with what they had. They took a shirt from somewhere, Tess could barely keep her eyes open at that moment again, and secured it over the gash by tying it in place with strips of the couch fabric as a sort of make shift tourniquet.

She was dead to the world after that.

She drifted in and out some for the most part. She vaguely felt Luke's tiny fingers clutching for her hand at one point, heard her new roommates' soft talking to one another, but everything was coming in flutters and whispers.

She didn't know how long she had been out but she knew the exact second she woke up.

It was with a start. Her entire body felt like it was shaking, damn near convulsing from the pain and she felt like she couldn't catch her breath. It seemed the last of her adrenaline rush had finally worn off while she was sleeping and now that it had, she was feeling  _everything_.

There was an ungodly ache everywhere. It felt like her whole midsection had been the direct hit target of a mac truck. Her head felt like it was on the verge of exploding and the skin surrounding her left side felt like liquid fire flowing everywhere. She felt the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes and heard herself grunting through the pain when she remembered where she was, and with who, for the first time. They were all there in that little one room shack and the last thing she wanted was to wake them up just so they could watch her cry.

She glanced over to her right to see the small form of Luke curled up on the floor next to her and the other two laying against the wall on the other side of the room. Judging by the darkness and sounds of the different critters singing their night time melody, she'd say it was a little after midnight. Beth's hand twitched a little but there was no movement from either of them other than that. Tess waited another moment to make sure they were still before looking back to the ceiling above her and struggled to get her breathing back to a somewhat regular pattern and trying to ease her way through it. She spent a few minutes like that with little success and thought maybe if she could just get herself into a slightly more elevated position she'd be able to ease the pressure some and be able to breathe a little easier. She gripped the back and side of the couch and slowly tried to ease herself up a little and regretted it instantly.

A wave of white hot pain instantly radiated throughout her and the whimper spilled past her lips before she could bring her hand up all the way to catch it. Her face scrunched up and her eyes screwed shut, forcing more tears to fall, as she bit into her fist but it did nothing to stop the not nearly so silent sob that escaped.

She stilled then, suddenly.

She imagined it had to be nearly impossible to be apart of this new world and not have learned the signs, the feeling of being watched. She may have missed them  _before,_  but not this time.

She didn't even want to look. The knowledge alone, despite everything, was enough to have her feeling just slightly mortified. She didn't want to be viewed, let alone be the one to give them a reason to view her as weak. Not when she was in such a dangerously vulnerable state already. Even good people are forced to do bad things they don't want to in order to survive now. Just because someone wasn't a current threat didn't mean they couldn't be with the right incentive. She proved that to herself in the biggest way the day before when the sheer desperation to keep Luke safe was fuel enough to allow her to do something she shouldn't have been able to, not on her own. She had been in much better physical shape then, though. She was sharper then, stronger. But now? Even with all the adrenaline in the world, could she really do that again right now if she had to?

She knew without even having to ask the question that the answer was no.

Beth seemed like she'd be an equal enough match in a fight if need be, but the sweet and young face gave her an unassuming air, and Tess knew those people could be the most dangerous. And once again that would be contingent on her actually being able to stand on her own, which she currently couldn't. Daryl, on the other hand, was an entirely different story. At her best she probably couldn't take him on by herself unless he was seriously injured. The two guys the day before had been bigger, but they had been cocky, sloppy in their arrogance and belief that she couldn't touch them at all. She was able to use that to her advantage, had been able to get some element of surprise on them. But Daryl? That would be completely different. It was the way he carried himself. Tense, self aware. Alert. She'd give her best guess to say he was a scrappy kind of fighter, easily able to adapt to any environment he might have been thrust into.

And so she didn't look over. Didn't meet the scrutinizing blue eyes that silently watched her in the stillness of the night. Didn't confirm what she already knew. The fact that in a manner of a few hours she had manged to give up her two biggest weaknesses that could easily be used against her.

Her physical weakness, being her actual physical state of being, and her mental one.

Luke.

It was a sobering enough thought that it allowed her to ignore the pain just enough once again, her hand falling down the side of the couch to curl around one of Luke's arms just for the reassurance.

It would be a very long night.


	4. The Clearing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback time. This chapter focuses on how Tess ended up in her current state. Trigger warnings: Assault, both physical and sexual here. Nothing overtly graphic, but it's there.

Naturally running water had always been soothing to her. Mother Nature's own relaxing sedative. She had only planned to stop long enough to fill up some water bottles, but, surprisingly, there wasn't any of the dead milling about and Luke had started playing at the edge of the river bank with the two toy soldiers they had found a while back. Things had been going rough lately and she decided it was worth it just to enjoy the peacefulness for a little bit.

After about an hour she gave a soft whistle to Luke to grab his attention. He looked up and grabbed his toys and made his way over when she motioned for him with her head. She held her hand out and he gave her the figures.

"We'll play more later, alright?" she told him softly, to which he nodded.

She gave him a small smile and turned to put the figures in his little red backpack.

"Or..."

Her head jerked up to the other side of the river where a man she never heard coming was now standing.

"...We can just play now."

Her blood ran cold and she jumped up as fast as she could, grabbing their two bags and Luke's hand tightly and started moving.

She didn't make it far. As soon as she turned around she was met with the sight of another man walking towards them, trapping them both literally and figuratively.

"Whoa now, little lady, no need to go n' get all skittish and runnin' off. We're all here to make friends."

The look in his beady eyes said anything but.

"No thanks, got all the friends I need." she replied, in the calmest voice she could.

"That right?" he said with a chuckle. He looked all around her tauntingly. "And where might they be?"

She heard the first guy splashing through the water as he made his way over to their side, all the while trying to hold her poker face.

"Ya see now Mitch," the first guy started as he came to stand next to his companion in front of them. "I'm thinkin' she's bluffin' about them friends."

"I'm thinkin' you're right Cliff."

She stared at them both. They were big. Tall too. It definitely seemed they were doing pretty well for themselves. Hard and rugged, faces filled with evidence of past misdeeds and eyes promising the same was to come.

She folded.

"Look," she slowly set the bags down, never missing the amusement that flared in both their eyes at the resignation. "We don't have much, but it's yours." she pushed the bag towards them with her foot. "Just take it and we'll be on our way."

They laughed. Actually laughed at her.

"Darlin', that's cute an' all," the one who had been called Mitch started. "But I'm afraid you're not goin' anywhere, just yet. Ya see," he walked over closer and put an arm around her shoulder, making her tense up immediately. "It's been a lonely little bit for me and my buddy here, and you are the lucky first gal we've come across. So, here's what we're gonna do. We're all gonna take a nice little walk through the woods, have us some  _fun,_ and maybe, just maybe, if you're a good girl we'll take you back to meet all our friends you can play with." he gave her shoulder a hard squeeze that only brought her in closer to his side. "Sound good?"

No. No it did not.

"First things first, we're gonna need to take that from ya." the first guy, Cliff, announced, stepping forward and reaching down to remove the bowie knife attached to her right hip.

She took the moment.

The second he removed it she threw a kick dead center to his stomach and at just about the same time threw a elbow into the other's, hearing more than watching as they both doubled over and started wheezing.

She took off running, faster than she ever had in her entire life. Which might have been fine if she was alone, but she was practically dragging Luke along which was causing him to stumble and slow down their speed. Before she knew it, she was being tackled to the ground by what felt like a cement truck bowling her over. She tried to kick and crawl from under him, feeling the rough dirt and jagged rocks digging into her skin, but it was the bigger of the two, Mitch who had taken her down and he had the full force of his weight on her and her arms pinned against her chest. She struggled still until he flipped her onto her back and grabbed her roughly by the chin and forced her head painfully to the side to show her that Cliff had Luke pulled against him with a knife to his neck.

"Now," he panted roughly, still trying to catch his breath. "Are we gonna play nice, or do we need ta make things more serious?"

She stilled instantly. "Okay. Okay." she nodded, panting just as heavily.

"Good. Would hate to see things turn ugly." he stood up and offered her hand that she reluctantly took. "Now, first things first." he sent a swift punch to her gut.

She didn't even feel the pain. It was like all the air was instantly pulled from her body and she was left with a choking gasp before she fell to her hands and knees. Before she could even get past the shock of it, she felt the incredibly hard, strong kick to her right side that flipped her on her back once again. That time, she did feel the pain.

"There, now we're even." he smiled down at her with a disturbing leer. "And now," he gave one more kick to her side that left her crying out. "We're square."

Her body tried to curl in on itself to relieve some of the pain but he was already pulling her to her feet by a hand full of hair and proceeded to drag her forward, using his free hand to hold onto her upper arm for the added control. She did her best to turn enough to see Luke, make sure he was ok. He was wide eyed and terrified, it was clear, but from what she could tell he wasn't hurt. She just had to keep it that way.

They walked on, silently, for about five minutes before reaching a small clearing in the woods.

"Ah, here we go! Our own private little oasis. Today really is a lucky day, eh, Cliff?"

"Damn right it is!" he all but hooped and hollered his reply, still with Luke locked in his clutches.

Mitch smiled down at her again with that same skin crawling leer, before glancing at Cliff with a shit eating grin. "First claim."

The joyous look Cliff had previously wore morphed into pure annoyance.

"Oh c'mon man! I'm the one that found 'er!"

"Too bad, rules are rules, you know that."

"Yeah, yeah." he mumbled back, all but with a pout. "Whatever man, just hurry it the hell up already."

He started dragging her over to a tree, bruising grip still on her upper arm when she started to struggle again.

"Wait wait wait!"

"Nope, sorry darlin'. No more waitin'."

She tried to dig her heels into the ground some. "No, please wait, just..." he pushed her harder. "His eyes!"

He slowed some. "What now?"

"Just," she took a big breath, trying to keep the massive panic at bay. "Just cover his eyes, _please!_ "

He stared down at her for a moment, staring into her already watery and imploring chocolate eyes before letting out a irritated grunt and giving Cliff a nod. Cliff rolled his eyes but took out a black rag from his back pocket and secured it around his eyes tightly.

" _Happy?_ "

She ignored him. "Luke, honey, you just keep that on, ok?  _No matter what!_ " she stressed it as best she could and felt just a little better when he gave the tiniest of nods. It was bad enough he would be hearing things, she didn't need him to actually see it. He had seen enough already.

The front of her was slammed up against the tree, causing a grunt of pain to escape from the pressure on her aching midsection and the bark scrapping against the skin of her arms and hands and the right side of her face harshly, and his hands were instantly on her.

"Whelp, yer definitely no beauty queen, but I suppose beggars can't be choosers an' all that. You do have a certain little charm about ya though, I'll give you that."

The plaid shirt she had on was ripped open and his hand slid down the front of her tank top and bra and she couldn't stop the louder whimpers from escaping her lips as he started groping around before making his own sound of disapproval.

"Mmmm, not much there to speak of, huh? Shame."

He was slightly distracted by that one meager fact and she knew it was now or never to make a move.

_"Start with the senses. Eyes and nose. Get their eyes to water. If you can't see, you can't fight. Throat and gut. If you can't breathe, you can't fight."_

With her grandfather's words as her guidance, she threw her head back as hard and fast as she could. She heard the startled yell but knew with the height difference she didn't get his nose fully so she threw her right elbow back before he could compose himself. That time, she heard the satisfying sound of bone crunching.

She spun to throw a straight right to his face, but was met with his own blow before she could connect. She had just a split second to feel dazed before the left side of her face was slammed against the tree trunk. Everything went black.

_"Hey! You need.."_

_"No! Just stay there and keep the brat under control, dammit, I got it. Fucking bitch."_

She came to just slightly at vague words that were floating around her. It was a odd state of being, almost like that space between dream world and reality, except much fuzzier. She felt a slight floating sensation, but didn't know it was simply her body being dragged and then dropped somewhere else. She didn't feel her jeans and underwear being yanked down roughly, or the sounds of another zipper being undone. She just barely registered the weight settling on top of her. The one sudden thrust jolted her back into awareness, though, with her grandfather's voice ringing in her ears again.

_"The groin. Now that's **always**  easy pickings."_

She snapped her legs together and twisted and wrenched them to the side as best and as hard as she could. He gave a loud howl and jerked back and away from her, giving her just enough room to bring her knee up and jam it into his crotch, causing him to emit an even louder roar. It was when he hunched over that she saw it. Her bowie knife. He had it stuffed in his back pocket. She lunged and just got her fingers wrapped around it just as Cliff came charging at her.

The force of his impact sent the knife flying from her hand. She ended up on her stomach, desperately clawing to reach it when he flipped her over and started throwing punches. Three in straight succession, right to her face. The sound of her own nose breaking wasn't nearly as satisfying.

"You really fucked up now, ya dumb cunt." his hands wrapped around her throat, cutting off what little air she had left. "Cuz, see," he leaned down to whisper angrily in her ear. "I got me a friend back at camp, and he's gonna be just  _tickled pink_  with that boy of yers."

_** NO! ** _

A burst of adrenaline hit her and, without any knowledge of how, her fingers were suddenly wrapped around the hilt of her knife that was above her head and her arm came flying forward, hitting him right in the center of his forehead just as he caught her wrist to stop it.

But it was enough. He slumped over almost instantly and she scrambled to get out from under the dead weight as she withdrew the blade from him. She speedily grabbed for her pants and underwear, trying to get them pulled up again and had just gotten them to her waist and stood fully when she felt the ungodly sharp, white hot sting of a blade biting into her skin, just below her left shoulder blade and she screamed out loudly.

There was absolutely no thought or plan when she came swinging around. The momentum of her own body turning causing the knife to drag down and around her ribs, but it was when her own knife was plunged into the side of his neck that his hand jerked down sharply, ending just above her hip bone before falling loosely from his hand.

He pushed her to the ground violently before stumbling back a step. The murderous glint in his eyes as he felt the knife protruding out of his neck had her scooting back and away from him. He followed. Still locked in on her like she was the prey about to be devoured. Even as he yanked the blade out, causing a geyser of blood to spurt out, he followed. She knew he had just signed his own death certificate by actually pulling the knife out, but still. He followed. Her back eventually hit the trunk of another tree and he was right in front of her, a red river rushing down the font of him, reaching out when, suddenly, he collapsed in a heap right next to her.

She held her breath, not wanting to let her defenses down just yet, just in case. He was down but it did nothing for the blanket of absolute fear surrounding her.

When she was sure he was dead, she let her head fall back as she release a pained sob. She thought for sure she was about to have a breakdown when she heard small whimpering and her eyes snapped open again.

_Luke._

" _Oh god._ " she breathed out to herself. She saw him standing several yards away. She tried to stand but found she couldn't just yet, so she crawled over to him on her hands and knees.

She yanked the rag off his face and instantly pulled him to her, his small arms wrapping around her neck. She pulled him back quickly and cradled his face, searching for any kind of damage but she couldn't see any, save for a small cut on the side of his neck where the man had been holding his blade to. But, she noticed, she was having a hard time seeing clearly at all. Though the thoughts that suddenly started coming through were clear as a bell.

Friends. They had a camp somewhere nearby, and they had friends.

They had to get out of there. Get as far away from the area before those friends came looking. She looked around for their two bags but didn't see them anywhere. She wasn't even sure now if they had ever grabbed them from the river bank and there was no time to stick around and go looking. So, with a curse, she forced herself to a stand, wobbling badly, desperately trying to apply some sort of pressure to her side, and started towing Luke behind her through the woods. She needed to find something,  _anything_ , and quickly.

They just had to get away from here.


	5. 2+2 Makes a Team.....Apparently

She wasn't sure when, but apparently she had finally manage to fall asleep again sometime in the early morning hours right before the sun started to rise. All the worrying mixed in with the fatigue was a nasty combination and she just couldn't hang anymore. She tried to open her eyes but was having trouble. It seemed the black eye was completely swollen shut now and the swelling from the broken nose was affecting the other. That wasn't even counting the fact that her head felt just as bad as it had the night before.

She let out a drawn out groan as she gingerly pushed herself up. The pain wasn't quite as intense as last night, but it was still much worse than anything she remembered feeling yesterday. As she propped herself against the arm of the couch, she saw Luke was sitting in front of the window, munching on a pack of crackers. When he looked up to see she was awake he hurried over to her with the crackers, carrying a small canteen she couldn't remember them having before with him. He climbed onto the couch next to her and handed her the cracker that was left and the canteen which, after sniffing it, she could tell was only a little water.

She hesitated at the offer, even with Luke trying to shove both items into her hands. The thought of taking any kind of food out of his mouth with how scarce things had gotten, even just a single cracker, felt wrong. But her stomach contents were just hanging on by a thread and the idea of the salt was sounding kind of miraculous right now, and her throat felt like full on sandpaper. So, with heavy guilt, she accepted both items.

She started with a half sip of water, wanting to prime her throat a little before attempting to swallow anything solid. She ate the cracker in small nibbles, trying to savor the little hints of salt that were soothing on her empty stomach. She finished the water in two sips before setting the canteen down on the couch and tossed the plastic wrapper to the floor. She took the moment of silence to look over Luke. Everything had been happening so fast she hadn't even gotten the chance to make sure he had suffered no injuries the day before. She ran a hand gently over his face, turning his head each way before giving his full body a quick pass over with her eyes. Other than the barely there nick on the side of his neck, he seemed, physically, ok. She brushed the hair out of his eyes, the mop of auburn brown curls becoming more unruly by the day. He really did need a hair cut. She paused in her inspection of him when she realized just how quiet it was.

She looked over the rest of the room to find it empty. It was back to just the two of them. She was confused, tying to rack her brain for clues to bring the puzzling scene together.

There had been two other people here before, hadn't there? The scrappy dude and the sweet girl. Daryl and Beth. They were here, weren't they? They were real, weren't they?

_Were they?_

She looked to Luke quickly, freaked out by the fact that she might have fever dreamed the entire encounter, but also a little worried about confirming with him in case she really  _had_  imagined/dreamed the whole thing. She didn't need him worrying about her losing it. He had seen her too close to it enough as it was for her liking. But she was going to need to know what her facts were.

"Where are they?" she asked him quietly, voice rough and scratchy.

He looked over towards the window before looking back at her and shrugging his shoulders. That made her relax a little. He at least knew what and who she was talking about. She wasn't cracking. Yet. That was always a good thing.

She thought for a minute, "Did ya see 'em leave?"

He nodded to that.

"You did?" she was surprised by that, even though she had asked the question. "Well," she looked around the room again, "Did they say where they were goin'?"

His silence was no kind of answer. "Did they say  _anything?_ " she stressed to ask him.

He looked back to the window again and pointed at it, then back at her and rapidly shook his head.

She stared, deciphering his reply. "Don't leave?"

He nodded, letting her know her guess was right. She looked at the window that was covered in ratty curtains. The couch was still pushed against the door, and as far as she knew there was no other door in the place. They had to have gone out the window, the same way they had to have gotten in yesterday, she now realized.

Stay. Don't Leave. Wait.

That was a little hard to swallow first thing waking up.

Not that they currently had any better plans. Or any other plans at all, but the feeling didn't sit well with her still, having to wait around for two strangers who may or may not come back to do who knows what. But the company and extra bodies were a plus to her right now so she swallowed down the frustration that was creeping up. Fortunately, she didn't have to sit with it long because she heard the window start to rattle.

She blocked Luke as best she could, not able to be positive if it was friendly company or other, and not currently having any weapons at her disposal seeing as they had, indeed, taken her knife.

She watched the shadow of the mystery person dance across the thin curtains before the window was roughly pushed up. She could hear slight huffing, whoever it was was partially out of breath, before a head poked through.

Daryl.

She let out the breath she had been holding until she saw the seriousness on his face.

He saw her and nodded once. "Good, yer up. Get yer shit, we're leavin'."

-x-

The story came in pieces of partial sentences and mostly jumbled words, but eventually she had gotten most of it down.

Thinking it best to find a more secure place of shelter sooner rather than later and drastically needing to locate supplies, Daryl and Beth, or just Daryl, as she felt more confident in assuming based off their very brief interactions so far, had decided to start looking while she was still resting. Tess got the feeling, more from the things he didn't say, that originally he had planned to go off on his own, but decided he wasn't comfortable leaving Beth alone with her.

They ended up finding a place, a funeral home, that was perfectly secured as well as stocked with food. After scouting the area to make sure there was nobody else around, they had made the plan to come back to get her and Luke and rest up at the shack for one more night, mainly for her benefit she could only guess. But then Beth had hurt her ankle when they had been out doing a quick search for some more substantial meat they could hunt down, giving him no choice but to leave her at the funeral home and come back for Luke and Tess on his own.

Did she mention the group of walkers that he had to dispatch of around the shack? Because he sure did. Several times.

He was definitely in a sour mood. It was the only reason she let the obvious irritation at her much slower pace go by without a word in reply, even if the fact that it had Luke clutching on to her thigh a little tighter than normally every time a irritable grunt came out or he got a little extra aggressive killing a stray walker. She didn't need to get on his bad side any more than she clearly was, not when he had come all the way back just to get them.

It did beg the question though, why had he come back? Why had either of them decided to come back? They hadn't been traveling together, they didn't know each other, there was no duty or obligation any of them owed to the other, so why come all the way back out here for two people who meant nothing to you? She spent most of the three or so hour hike pondering that very question.

She thought she was gonna die by the time they got there. Her whole body felt like it was on fire again, not to mention the spasms going up and down her legs and back. She had never been so happy to see a cemetery before.

Beth was at the door waiting for them. She had been quite busy in her time alone. She had a whole tray of medical supplies waiting for Tess the second she sat down. She first gave her two of the pain reliever pills that were found in the place which cemented for Tess that, regardless of what ended up happening, she would love Beth forever. She then helped her clean off all the dried blood and grime before bandaging her up the best she could and stitching the large gash on her side close. She had saved resetting her nose for last, feeling slightly squeamish about being able to do it properly without causing Tess too much extra pain.

She wasn't nearly as good at it as she had been with the other stuff.

She had made two attempts to no success. Every time Tess would start to squirm and whine from the pain, Beth would freak a little and stop, apologizing profusely. After the third failed attempt Tess was ready to just say screw it, but Daryl had other plans in mind. He had come marching around the corner and up to her so fast she didn't even realize she was in trouble until he had a firm grip on her jaw as the other hand swiftly snapped her nose back into place.

She might have killed him, had she not been so distracted by the pain.

Afterwards, Beth finished up with helping Tess change into a clean and, thankfully, loose fitting t-shirt and apologizing several times for not having a fresh pair of pants for her to change into, before turning her attentions to Luke.

Tess had made a stronger attempt to protest her taking care of Luke than she had for herself, but was quickly shot down by the younger girl.

_"You have help now, just take it."_

So as she started cleaning the boy down, Tess took the opportunity to finally check herself out in a mirror, really inspect the damage for herself for the first time.

She probably shouldn't have.

She couldn't even recognize herself. Even with all the blood cleaned off, she was an absolute wreak. Her face was covered in bruising and swelling, especially around her nose and eyes, but also around her mouth where her bottom lip had been busted open. Her left side was considerably worse from where she took the blunt impact to the tree, but the right side didn't fair all the much better. The bruising she found on her neck didn't seem to add up though.

Distinctive markings, like hand prints. She was dumbfounded at that one. Had they choked her? Tried strangling her? She couldn't remember and couldn't decide weather to be grateful for that or not. It did suddenly explain, though, why her throat had felt so rough and sore this morning. There must have been some slight bruising on her windpipe or something. After finding the rest of her body in a similar state, she decided she had seen enough and went back to Beth and Luke. There wasn't the same desire to check out the large gash on her left side.

She made her way back to the room Beth and Luke were in and just had to stare at the sight before her. She couldn't help but be in awe of the girl as she watched her fussing with the clean, but much too big, shirt for Luke, cutting it here and tying it there to secure it in place. She was just so natural with it all, a warm maternal energy that radiated off of her. She chatted on to him happily as she worked, despite the lack of responses. She didn't seem to mind, just enjoyed having something to do for someone else.

She decided to leave them to it, slowly making her way through the house and to the living area. She couldn't help but marvel, but also feel weary of the fact that the house was so clean and obviously taken care of. Even if Daryl hadn't already informed her on the walk here, it went without saying that this place belonged to someone. Up until very recently, at the very least. She wasn't thrilled with the idea that they may be waiting for someone to waltz right in to discover that the four of them had pulled a Goldie Locks, but, surprisingly - for someone who didn't appear to make a habit of going around trusting people much - he appeared fairly confident that things would be fine there, even if the original owners did turn up.

She walked into the room and took a seat on the small sofa. She let out a small sigh, feeling some pressure lift off her body. It probably helped that the pain pills had started kicking in.

Lord how she missed prescription drugs.

She could feel her body dragging under, just begging for some real sleep, and she very much wanted to answer the call, but then her eye caught site of the small built in book shelf in the corner of the room by the bay window. Her mind started running instantly and she was up before her own mind could protest with itself.

She needed distractions.

She glanced over the three shelf unit, running her fingertips over the spines. They were mostly medical text books and an encyclopedia set, mostly words and phrases she couldn't even pronounce, let alone understand. Except for one on the bottom shelf, a full encyclopedia solely focusing on birds. She grabbed it, flipping through a few pages to find not only were there illustrated pictures, but colored photographs as well.

_Nice._

She tucked the book under her arm and scanned the rest of the room looking for, well, anything, really. Not seeing anything that caught her eye she slowly made her way back out into the hall, passing the stairs that led to the second floor and making her way into the small kitchen. Starting with the one closest to her, she started opening drawers, hoping to find the all inclusive junk drawer that all kitchens were famous for having, rifling through the random garbage that was left. It was the second to last one she opened that finally wielded something for her.

"Bingo."

A worn deck of playing cards. Now that she could really work with.

She grabbed the pack of cards, quickly checked the last drawer to find nothing and made her way back to the living room. When she shuffled back she was met with the sight of Daryl sitting at the window and halted slightly when his eyes landed on her. She wasn't sure why, maybe it was just the stern expression that seemed to be a permanent fixture on his face, but she couldn't fight back the feeling of being a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. This wasn't her place or her find, the point could be argued that she had no business digging around. Of course, a bird book and a pack of cards hardly seemed like enough to get possessive and territorial over.

She got her feet moving again, after a second, and placed the items on the little coffee table in front of the sofa, easing herself down into a sitting position. She shrugged her shoulders slightly, trying to brush off the weight of his stare. When she looked up again she noticed that, while still stern, his eyes seemed to hold more curiosity than the irritation she was expecting. It allowed her to relax. Slightly.

"For Luke." she suddenly said, surprising them both a little. She cleared her throat lightly when he simply raised an eyebrow in question. "Don't have his bag and things anymore, he's gonna need a little somethin' to keep busy."

He inclined his head a little in understanding. There were a few moments of silence that followed, though not quite as uncomfortable as before.

"He always been mute?"

Tess looked back up from the rip in her jeans she had been messing with, a little caught off guard. She realized, though he had been talking at her and to her quite a bit, this was the first time he seemed to be trying to communicate  _with_  her. With the exception of yesterday's interrogation, of course.

"No. Uh, not always, no. Not til...not til after."

He nodded fully this time and she couldn't help but take notice of the seeming understanding that took over that serious face of his.

"S'hard with the kids."

She watched him while he looked down, now taking a turn to fiddle with his own hands. She got stuck on his words and the emotion that crossed his face for a second, trying to pin point what it was. Did he have kids? Know kids? Lose kids?

"Yeah. Bad enough being grown through this, can't even imagine being a pup goin' through it."

He shook his head in agreeance, then decided to elaborate some. "They also make some of the strongest survivors."

She knew for sure he was thinking of someone specific that time.

Tess' eyebrows raised slightly as she let out a long breath. "Tell me about it."

She flinched when he suddenly got up, not expecting the moment and felt the urge to jump up herself to avoid him hovering over her but was able to squash the momentary panic. He regarded her - and her reaction - for a second before reaching into one of his back pockets, bringing out her bowie knife. She perked up at the sight of it, always feeling slightly empty without its weight present on her person. There was one last look of consideration on his end before he flipped it in his hand, offering it to her handle first.

"You should probably keep hold of that."

She reached out easily, not wanting to appear over eager to have a weapon in her hands, least he get the wrong idea.

"Thanks."

"Mmhm."

It was then that Beth finally emerged from the bathroom, Luke in tow and bright smile.

"All done!"

Tess turned to find that Luke was already rushing to her side. She had to smile as he jumped up onto the couch happily. He had apparently very much enjoyed his grooming time with Beth, if the extra bounce in his step was any indication.

"Well look at you." she said appraisingly. "Don't you clean up well. Have fun, did ya?"

This time, she had to bite back the growing smile and amused laugh that wanted to make a presence at his excited nod and bashful smile he gave Beth.

It would seem Luke had just discovered his first bout of puppy love.

She ruffled his hair before looking back to Beth.

"Thank you."

Beth kept her bright smile but gave her a pointed look regardless.

"I already told you, it's no problem."

"I know, still."

She held her hands up in surrender when Beth put her hands on her hips, looking ready to launch into some form of a lecture.

"Ok, ok, no more appreciation."

The girl simply rolled her eyes.

-x-

The rest of the day went by relatively uneventful. At Beth's insistence, Tess got as comfortable as she could on the sofa, propped up with a few pillows Beth had brought down from one of the rooms upstairs and a light throw blanket. Things got awkward and slightly uncomfortable again for Tess, with the young girl basically tucking her in for a nap, but it was impossible to not be comforted by the actions. The fact that she was pretty sure she was developing the same crush on Beth that Luke had was the only thing that kept her comments to herself, least she earn another look about accepting help.

She never really fell asleep fully, drowsy enough from the pain medication that she was able to just sit there relatively peacefully, enjoying the sedative induced resting. She listened as Beth sat on the floor with Luke, reading over the bird book with him, pointing out different pictures and reading different facts.

She didn't know where Daryl had disappeared to during the afternoon, but he showed up again as the sun was going down, announcing it was supper time. Or, more specifically, he said something about it being time for that white trash brunch of his, or something like that.

Tess wan't sure if that was what he really said or if it was just the pills talking to her.

Dinner was a relatively quiet affair, but nicely so. It had been a while since Tess and Luke had been able to eat so freely, she could only imagine it was the same for them. Especially with the gusto Daryl was inhaling the stuff, not even bothering with the utensils Beth had set out for all of them. She noticed Luke was eagerly looking to follow his example, but she made sure to keep him, and herself, on somewhat of a leash, not wanting to risk him getting sick from eating too much too fast when his stomach wasn't use to it at the moment.

When they were finished Tess didn't get the chance to offer to help clean up or anything before Beth was shooing her out of the room. It was in that moment that Tess came to realize that she had been wrong before.

Even at her best, she no longer thought she could take Beth in a fight. The girl was a tough little broad, and that was  _without_  getting physical.

With Luke in tow, she intended to head back to the living area and maybe start a game of goldfish to help him wind down for the night, but stopped when they passed one of the smaller rooms that was used for services. Catching sight of the piano, she brought them in there instead. She grabbed the box of matches that were sitting on top of the piano, quickly lighting some of the small candles sitting next to them and the candle sticks that were set on a stand in the corner. When she was done, she sat herself down at the bench and patted the spot next to her, inviting Luke to join her and helping him stay steady as he climbed up. She looked down at the keys, trying to think of one of the three and a half songs she had learned on a keyboard when she was a teenager. That theme song from Titanic was the one she had been best at and she tried to recall the sequence, playing the first few notes before losing it.

After the fifth failed attempt she gave up, muttering to Luke that she was too old to remember such things before switching to something a little simpler.

She played the first few notes of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, slowly making it about halfway through before getting stuck for a minute, trying to remember how to finish it off. After a few missteps, she finally managed to finish the tune. She completely butchered it, but she finished.

Looking at Luke and his happy expression, she chuckled, shaking her head slightly.

"You're much too easily impressed."

He just kept smiling, swinging his feet back and forth merrily.

Beth came around the corner then, spotting them at the piano and her face lit up.

"Hey, you play?" she asked with genuine interest, coming to stand next to the bench.

"Not even a little. Just remember a note or two." she looked up from the random keys she was pressing as Luke was copying her. "You?"

Beth gave a small shrug with one shoulder. "A little."

Tess scooted over a little, bringing Luke with her to make room before for Beth before gesturing to the keys with a hand. "Have at it."

Beth gave a small smile before taking a seat. She got herself situated before glancing at the sheet music that was set up. She looked it over, studying it before taking a slight breath and placing her hands over the keys and started playing.

Perfectly.

Tess could feel the way she pulled back in her seat slightly, head cocking to the side as she watched slim fingers dance expertly and easily over the ivory. Not a single stutter or mishap to be found.

This was someone who only played a  _little?_

When the song came to an end, Beth ended with a small sigh before meeting Tess' deadpan stare.

"Showoff."

Beth simply smiled innocently, stroking a few random keys before the look started morphing into something a little more nostalgic with an underlining sadness.

"My mom taught me. We used to play together all the time."

Past tense. It only meant one thing.

Tess worried her bottom lip slightly, debating on how, or if she should, proceed.

"Lucky lady. She had a helluva student."

Beth looked up warmly at the comment, giving a small smile of thanks. Tess returned it before shifting to stand and moving herself to one of the chairs that were set up for viewing and perching herself on one of the end seats before looking back at Beth expectantly.

"Well let's hear it Chopin. What else you got?"

The brighter smile returned again as she turned her attention back to the piano. She started to shuffle through the other sheet music before placing it back, deciding to go with something from memory. She started playing with the same grace as she did the first time, only she seemed much more connected with this song. Tess didn't know what it was, not even when Beth started singing along softly it wasn't anything she recognized as ever hearing. She liked it though, whatever it was. Or more, she liked listening to Beth herself. She had a beautiful voice, full of so much more depth than the young girl had any business having. It was soothing. Calming.

She was completely transfixed by the angelic voice, not hearing or sensing the body behind her until there was the distinctive sound of a throat clearing, music halting and three heads whipping around to find Daryl standing in the archway.

"Place is nailed up tight. Only way in is through the front door." he relayed to them as he set his crossbow down on the decorative couch in the room. There was a empty casket set up at the head of the room, in front of the three rows of chairs. He looked it over with interest before turning around and easily hopping in, maneuvering around some so he could lay down fully.

"What are you doing?" Beth asked him, curiously.

"This is the comfiest bed I've had in years." he replied, simply.

"Really?!"

"I ain't kiddin'."

He definitely wasn't kidding, if his body language was anything to go on. Fully stretched out with one arm resting behind his head, he actually appeared  _relaxed_. Tess couldn't help the furrow of her brows. Sleeping in a casket? Yeah, that was a line she wasn't ready to cross just yet, not while she was alive anyways. It seemed a bit like tempting fate. Judging by the look Beth was giving him, she was pretty firmly on the same page. Hell, if one of these lids so much as fell shut on its own she was going to have a minor heart attack.

"Why don't you go on and play some more. Keep singin'."

"I thought my singin' annoyed you?" she teased.

Again, Tess couldn't help but look Daryl's way again, this time with partially raised brows.

 _Annoyed?_  How could anyone find that voice annoying?

"Yeah, well, there ain't no jukebox, so.."

Beth looked like there was maybe something she wanted to say back, but was interrupted by Luke grabbing one of her hands and placing it back on the piano keys with a smile, one she returned before turning back in her seat and resumed where she had left off.

It was some time that they all sat there. No talking, just the gentle playing and soft voice of Beth wafting through the room. And Tess trying to decipher just what that thoughtful look on Daryl's face was.


	6. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving updates to Thursdays because....well, just because.

Fingers.

To be exact, tiny fingers.

Tiny fingers that undoubtedly belonged to tiny hands.

That was what woke Tess up. It was with just the tiniest of starts, but the undeniable small hands kept her leveled before she could get too jumpy. It took a brief moment to recognize where she was, still in the viewing room. Beth had played for some time after Daryl settled down. Between the soothing stylings of Beth on piano and the weight that was lifted from being behind closed doors in a safe place, he had, to Tess' minor surprise, allowed himself to drift off for some proper sleep. Luke had only made it a couple minutes longer before he was slumping against Beth's side, leading to Tess setting him up on the couch. When she was satisfied he was properly tucked in and comfortable she turned back to Beth with a bit of a silent question that went unspoken. She had stopped playing when Tess had taken Luke from her side but there seemed to be a understanding between the two that neither one was particularly ready to call it a night like their boys had. They ended up taking residence in the chairs, Beth laid across one row and Tess across the next.

They ended up talking quite a bit that night, much like they would end up doing for the remainder of their stay. Mostly about before. Things they had done, wanted to do. They talked about their families and Beth had even told her some about the people they had been with before, a large group that all lived and worked together in a prison. Everything was mostly told in basic detailing. Nothing too overly specific, least the memories become too vivid to handle, but the general conversation felt nice. Good. The girl was easy to talk to, much more so than her counter part - even if he had softened noticeably since they secured the shelter of the funeral home, he still presented a slightly intimidating presence - and it just felt right, connecting with her. She gathered enough to confidently decide that they weren't a couple, like her original guess had been, but there was still definitely something there. Be it a relationship just waiting to bloom or a very deep, yet ultimately very platonic bond, she couldn't decide on yet. She had every intention of keeping her eyes open for the clues that would help her decide though, that much was certain.

It would help pass the time.

Apparently, at some point though it had never been the intention when they first sat down to stay there, they both fell asleep. Which led to the current, those tiny hands shaking her shoulder.

She reached up a hand before she opened her eyes, grabbing his tiny fist and squeezing it before turning her head to the side and upwards and opened her eyes slightly. His watery eyes and distressed face, somewhat upside down due to her position, had her waking up more solidly. She rolled to her side and propped herself up on an elbow and let go of his hand in favor of resting it on his shoulder and bringing him a little closer with a concerned expression.

"Hey, hey.." she whispered softly, trying to be mindful of the two sleeping bodies so close by. "What's wrong big guy? Bad dreams?"

There really wasn't any need to ask. There would be no other reason for him to suddenly be awake and upset like this, plus this was hardly a new occurrence for him. And that was before. He hadn't had one recently, but she had no doubt that their recent run in would be plenty of fuel to light up a whole new set of dreamverse terror for him. She absolutely hated it. Hated that he had to go through it and hated that she let them end up in a situation that would cause it.

He nodded along in answer to her question regardless, with the smallest of trembles making his chin wobble and in turn caused her heart to crack a little.

She sighed. "I'm sorry bud. How about a story? Take your mind off it?"

He nodded again, a little more insistent this time as he brought a hand up to rub at his eyes.

Tess pushed herself up more, fighting back the groan as the stiffness of her body hit her. She managed to get up with only a few popping sounds from her protesting back and shoulders. She would definitely regret falling asleep on the chairs come the next day.

She grabbed Luke's hand and quietly brought him out of the room and over to the stairs, sitting down with a bit of a winch that didn't go past him and, judging by the worry now etched in his features as he silently watched her, was adding to his already upset state. He reached up, carefully touching her nose and all the bruising around it. She tried to keep her face neutral as he poked and prodded his way through his little inspection of her injuries, not wanting him to think he was hurting her. Eventually she captured his hand, bringing it up to place a kiss on his knuckles.

"It's ok. I'm ok."

It took a few moments of him staring intently at her, as if trying to decide the validity of her statement before he seemed to relax a little. He pulled his hand back from her hold, bringing it to his mouth to press a kiss to his finger tips before bringing them back to place over her nose, causing a smile to spread across her face and she reached over to pull him onto her lap, tucking his head under her chin and arms resting firmly around him.

"Thank you, that feels much better now."

The poking and prodding was worth it now, to see that small, proud smile lighten his face up.

"How about that story now?"

He pulled back so he could look up at her again and nodded.

"Ok, what're ya feeling in the mood for?"

The answer was instant, he brought his hands up and made the air quotes sign, which for him translated into bunny ears.

"Ohhh, Peter Rabbit, huh?" a nod of confirmation from him and one of approval from her. "Good choice."

It was yet another thing she could credit to her grandfather. He had introduced her to The Tale of Peter Rabbit when she was a wee little thing, to the world of Beatrix Potter in general. He was forever reading her one of the fables or another, but Peter Rabbit had always, far and away, been her favorite. A love that she had bestowed onto Luke.

"Ok, let's see... Once upon a time, there were four little rabbits, and their names were Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-Tail and Peter. They lived with their mother in a sand bank, underneath the root of a very big fig tree. 'Now my dears,' said old Mrs. Rabbit one morning, 'you may go into the fields or down the lane, but don't go into Mr. McGregor's garden, your father had an accident there - he was put in a pie by Mrs. McGregor.'"

Tess continued on easily, the story, and the pleasant memories it evoked long having been cemented into her memory bank. She continued even after she felt his body grow heavier and breaths even out about halfway through, always thinking it a shame to stop before little Peter was safely back home in the warm arms of his none too happy but loving mother.

When she was finished with the tale she sat there with him curled up in her arms for a while, wanting to make sure he was truly asleep before moving and waking him, but also just feeling content to hold him and provide him that comfort of safety.

After a while she decided it was safe to move him again, taking a second to get a tighter grip on him and bracing one hand against the banister to push herself up. She struggled slightly, but was able to stand without jostling his sleeping form too much, readjusting her hold one more time before quietly walking back into the viewing room. There were stray thoughts coming in about how it was getting a bit more difficult to carry him around now that he was starting to grow a little more, even before her injuries added to the effort. She mused that it wouldn't be all that much longer before she'd be tapping out after only holding him for a few minutes.

She laid him down gently onto the couch, grabbing the little throw blanket and tucking it around him securely before brushing some of the unruly curls off his forehead, leaving a small kiss on his cheek and stepping back. She took a glance around the room, tempted to try to get back to sleep but she was already feeling the restlessness kick in and knew she wouldn't be able to. Not any time soon, at least.

She decided to head into the kitchen. If she was going to be staring at the walls, there was no need to stay in here and feel like a creep watching the others sleep, and she didn't want to risk waking them up by exploring the house. Mind made up, she first went to the living area to grab the deck of cards she found earlier and one of the spare candles, then made her way into the kitchen, grabbing a seat at the table and sat down. She shook her hands out and lit the candle first to have some light and then pulled the cards out of their box, lazily setting up a game of Solitaire. She stared disinterestedly at the cards once they were in place, playing a card or two and then pushing all of them away from her, no longer having any interest in the game.

She brought her hands up to lay flat on the table, bouncing her fingertips lightly on the table top to expel some of the anxiousness that had been creeping in. It was just so,  _quiet._  Not just quiet, but being inside the home, it was still and quiet. It wasn't so much that she didn't welcome it, she was just starting to worry that if she sat in it too long it would allow her mind to start thinking about things she had no desire to think of, most certainly not now.

Her eyes popped up to the open archway when she heard just the faintest of squeaks coming from the hallway, waiting for the owner responsible for the noise to show. A few seconds later there was a ghost of a shadow before Daryl turned the corner, eyes landing on her instantly. And, again, she just couldn't for the life of her fight the feeling like she was about to be scolded for something.

"Sorry." she mumbled. "Did I wake you?"

He shook his head with one of the slight grunts of his. "Nah. Not really."

Not really? Wasn't that basically a 'Yes' then? She wasn't sure if she should stay silent on the fact or not so she settled for a half nod, her fingers resuming their tapping to fight off the sudden return of awkwardness. It was as he took a seat at the opposite end of the table that the index finger on her right hand started bouncing with a little more intent than before, tapping out a familiar tune. She had absentmindedly been sweeping her eyes around the kitchen when they caught sight of Daryl and his fixed gaze on her hand, bringing her tapping to a sudden stop and causing her to clasp her hands in lap.

Daryl found himself in mild concentration. Her tapping seemed far too deliberate to just be mindless fidgeting, but the rhythm didn't conjure up anything familiar to him.

"Sweet City Woman."

"Hmm?"

"The tapping," she clarified with a small cough. "Sweet City Woman by The Stampeders."

"Don't think I know it." he replied with a slight head tilt.

She made a face to herself. "That's a shame."

There was a momentary lapse of silence, in which time Tess was able to finally bypass the awkward and settle into the more relaxed silence like they had had earlier when he was asking about Luke.

"Is he ok?" he finally asked, seemingly torn between if he really even wanted to ask and unsure if he should be asking.

"Yeah. Just, bad dreams."

He hesitated, once more. "He get them a lot?"

She took a big breath and let it out, taking the second to try to gauge his now mostly neutral expression, that came out of nowhere, wondering once again just what relationship he had had with other children.

"Yeah, this is the first one in a little bit though." her fingers found their way back to the table top to start tapping randomly. "Not much of a surprise, I suppose." she muttered, more to herself.

She turned her attention to the candle in the middle of the table, watching the small flame lick and dance back and forth. She started chewing on the inside of her cheek as the curiosity started growing and getting the better of her. During their talk earlier Beth had told her some about their group, enough to know that none of the kids they had been around at this prison they had called home were his, but he, without question, seemed to hold some sort of soft spot for the younger generation. If the way he seemed to soften some when asking about Luke was any indication, that is. And, despite not wanting to pry into the life of someone she barely knew, she also couldn't help but want to discover more of that side. Now if she could just find a way to broach the subject in a casual way.

"So, your people..."

The sudden tension in his body was the tale tale sign that that wasn't the most tactful of ways to start. She left the words hang in the open air, forgetting the question entirely and any courage she had managed to scrape up.

It seemed like minutes passed before she heard his faint sigh.

"Beth thinks they're still alive."

Oh. Well, that took an entirely different turn than what she had intended. She immediately went to apologize, feeling bad for bringing up such a touchy subject, but held her tongue, much more captivated by the change of tone in his voice. Dejected.

"...you don't?"

He didn't answer, simply stared at her for a moment before reaching for the pile of cards she had abandoned before he came in. He straightened them all out, getting them into a stack and then taking his time to shuffle them up before he started dealing them out into two piles, one for him and one for her.

"You play poker?"

"I'm lousy at it, but I know how, yeah."

He nodded as he placed the remaining stack in the middle to draw from.

"Good thing for you we ain't betting then."

-x-

The next morning found a bright eyed and bushy tailed Luke and Beth sitting at the kitchen table playing a game of Go-Fish while Tess was dishing out a little breakfast for all of them.

"Got any...4s?" Beth asked, looking over her cards at the boy.

He shook his head and Beth went to draw from the pile of cards.

" _Luke..._ "

Both he and Beth looked towards Tess to find an amused smirk on her face.

"No cheatin'."

Beth looked at him with surprised eyes as he guiltily handed her the four of hearts he had.

"You little twerp!"

"Smart kid." came Daryl's compliment as he made his way in after checking the area outside the home.

"We're playing for the can of mixed fruit, don't encourage him!"

Tess handed them each their own plate before taking a seat and digging into her own, enjoying the light banter and, perhaps, a little proud of Luke's attempted slyness.

"Plus, whoever loses also has to be the first seeker in our big game of hide and seek after breakfast. These are big stakes here, Daryl." she informed him in all seriousness.

Daryl just sent a teasing look her way. "Sure, sounds like  _real fun._ "

The sudden clang of a fork colliding with a plate had the three of their heads shooting towards Tess, who appeared almost as shock as they were by her reaction, before a different kind of emotion crossed her face. She kept her head bowed, the hand that had been holding the fork now shaking slightly. They watched, silently, as she took several breaths, a clear sign that she was trying to keep something under control but it didn't seem to be working much.

"Tess...?" Beth tried, reaching out timidly only for Tess to stand abruptly before she could make contact.

"Be right back." she mumbled with a quick pat to Luke's head as she walked out of the kitchen.

She got to the hallway and quickly made her way to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and bracing herself against the sink as the all too familiar flutter started in the center of her chest, causing the lightheaded feeling to kick in right after. She sunk herself to the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest as she willed the feeling to subside, digging the palms of her hands into her eyes to fight off the tears that were forming fast.

Real Fun.

_Fun._

She couldn't believe one, simple little word could have such a deep and swift trigger reaction. The second it left Daryl's mouth she was instantly back there, grabby hands and horrid promises and all. She felt sick, and she felt itchy. It felt physical, the way it pulled her body in on itself a little more. She was just starting to get her breathing back on track when there was a timid knock on the door, Beth's gentle voice ringing out after.

"Tess? Can I come in?"

She nodded, then remembered Beth couldn't see her.

"Ye..yeah."

Beth entered slowly, very much thinking she would spook her if she didn't. She made sure to close the door behind her, then lowered herself to sit on her knees in front of Tess.

"Are you alright?"

Tess release a shuddering breath at the question, taking a moment to try to reign in the thoughts running at a high speed in her mind.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's just...I guess I just hadn't really had or taken a moment to really think about all of..." she gestured to her face. "All of this, and now that I did..."

Beth took in the way her bottom lip had started to tremble and the way her voice had cracked just so at the end and scooted herself closer to her so that she could place a hand on her knee.

"Hey, you're safe now. You and Luke both. You're here, and you're ok. That's all that matters."

And there it was again, that maternal comfort that a girl that young had no right possessing, all aimed at Tess and she couldn't deny the almost instant comfort it brought. Tess nodded, sniffing and wiping at her eyes to keep any random tears from falling. Beth hesitated only a moment before bringing her arms around her, Tess hesitating just a beat longer before grabbing onto one of Beth's arm as a way to return the embrace.

-x-

The next day and a half had went by mostly uneventful. When Tess and Beth had made their way back to breakfast that morning there was a silent agreement to just act as if it never happened, and they mostly did. Except for Daryl. He seemed very much aware of the fact that it was his words that caused her little moment, and he started to distance himself. Didn't attempt to make any small talk, made himself scarce of her presence the majority of the day, just mainly stayed cleared.

She still felt it, though, at random moments. Felt his eyes following her movements. Tracking. It hit her that night as she was laying awake and staring at the ceiling that that was what it was that tended to make her feel on the spot when he would first show up around her. It wasn't just the hard demeanor or intimidating quiet presence, it was the feeling of a hunter tracking its game. Not in a way that made her feel threatened at all, just the feeling like she couldn't really hide anything from him. Like he could read her much too easily.

By their third night there were talks of moving on. But that morphed into staying, and attempting to group up if and when the original residents showed up. Tess still wasn't even really sure when the four of them had become an official group, but couldn't deny how grateful she was feeling. As hard of a time as she had connecting with and being ok around new people, with Daryl and Beth pulling the weight she couldn't, this was the most security and food she had been able to provide to Luke for weeks. She didn't know how she would ever be able to properly thank either of them, but she did wish she could actually contribute in a meaningful way.

Still, Daryl's sudden turnabout about finding new people to settle up with was a curious one, and one Beth was not about to let go of.

That's when things got awkward.

She was trying to get him to admit to what changed his mind when he started becoming, what Tess could only describe as, bashful. Which had to be the most surreal juxtaposition she had ever physically seen in a person before. Mister rough and gruff was suddenly shy? That was a wild thought. But then Beth kept pushing, and it started to feel more and more like her and Luke's presence had been momentarily forgotten, and by the time he finally, ever so quietly, admitted it was her that had changed his mind, Tess felt like slinking her and Luke out of the room as stealthily as she could. She definitely was not meant to be present for that moment. The air got slightly heavy and tense when they both appeared to realize the same thing.

She had to wonder if perhaps she had read their relationship wrong after all.

"So, Tess." Beth's change in direction was so sudden she froze slightly as the young girl quickly switched the focus to her. "Is that your real name, or is that short for somethin'?"

Tess drew her brows together and made a sound of discontent around the mouthful of food she was trying to chew.

Beth's whole face lit up. "I knew it! It  _is_  short for something else!"

Tess smiled lightly at the girl's proud reaction, like she had just won some kind of important bet. But her lack of response afterwards had Beth's youthful, cheerful face drop into a slight pout.

"Oh come onnnnnn!" she all but whined. "You can't just tease us and then leave us hangin'. You gotta tell us what it is now. Right Daryl?! Tell her she has to tell us!" she looked to him to back her up.

Tess looked at him as well, thinking he was going to back  _her_  up. He wasn't exactly the playful, teasing type. Clearly he wasn't going to -

"Well, go on then." he said with a slight incline of his head, singling he was handing the floor back to her.

_Wait, what?_

She was mildly stunned and she couldn't help but just stare at him a second, before moving back to Beth who had the most smug and arrogant smile of triumph on her face. Hell, even Luke was looking at her expectantly.

_The little shit._

She would have ignored it, was very much tempted to, but she was still feeling bad over the fact she had had Daryl walking on eggshells around her since breakfast the day before, and this was the closest he had been to the rapport they had been developing before that. It seemed the least she could do to humor them.

She sighed a little dramatically before pulling a face. "Mmmm...Tessie."

Silence.

Beth, bless her heart, did have the decency to try. "Tessie!" she exclaimed with far too enthusiasm. "That's...it's..." she struggled.

Tess put her out of her misery. "I know. Sounds like a cow." when Beth attempted to shake her head no Tess cut her of. " _Which_ , especially since I was on the plumper side, is why the kids at school took it upon themselves to dub me Tessie Bessie."

Beth's hand flew up to hide the half gasp, half laugh that came flooding out of her mouth. "They didn't?!"

"Ohhh they did."

"Kids are assholes." was Daryl's simple response. She couldn't help but nod along. "Sorry, little man. " that part was directed to Luke, whom Tess looked over to find glaring at the both of them. She only got a few seconds to chuckle at the look when life chose that exact moment to bring in a shit storm.

The dog that had been visiting off and on all day was back and Daryl decided he was trying one last time to give him some food. Except it wasn't a dog. It was a group of walkers who forced their way in the second the door was opened. Everything was a whirlwind after that. After getting his crossbow to him Daryl was yelling for them to grab their stuff and get out and get to the road while he lured the walkers further into the home. Tess told Beth to grab Luke and get the window open while she made a mad grab to get as much of their stuff as she could to little effect. The second she got the first bag she was face to face with the dead. Not all of them had followed after Daryl.

Tess jumped back, barely getting a grip on the bag strap and turned to toss it to Beth, who just barely caught it, and grabbed a small kitchen knife off the table before briskly jamming it into the closest walker's head, hearing the all too familiar squelch and feeling the rotten blood splatter across her face, before it dropped instantly just as Beth got the window open.

"Go!" Tess yelled at her.

Beth protested leaving both her and Daryl alone in the house, causing Tess to let out a small growl of frustration at the girl's defiance before sinking the knife into the second walker. As soon as it dropped she threw an as forceful as she could kick to the midsection of the third walker to knock it back a few feet before swiftly turning on Beth and forcefully pushing her onto the counter under the window to climb out.

" **GO!** " it was practically a threat this time but she had to get the girl moving. "Take Luke and head to the road. I'll be right behind you,  _I promise._ " she stressed that bit as best she could, making sure especially to give Luke a pointed look before turning back to Beth. "We both will. Now go!"

Beth crawled out and quickly reached back for Luke as Tess held him up for her. Just as Beth grabbed onto him, something grabbed onto Tess' shoulder, causing her to spin around quickly and bring her forearm up just in time to avoid the snapping jaws at her face. She lost her footing in the struggle and went crashing down on her back, the walker following closely after. She was back to the same position, blocking the attempted bites with her forearm but this walker was heavy and she was losing steam quickly. More than anything her side was screaming from the rough pulling and tugging, causing her entire left arm to practically go dead. She was just able to switch out her left forearm for her stronger right and used her now free hand to feel around wildly for the lost kitchen knife or anything else she could use but found nothing. Her right arm started shaking and she knew she couldn't hold it off much longer.

It's face was drawing closer and she leaned her head back as much as she could to get away from the teeth trying to sink into her. She had manged to straighten her arm out enough to get her hand wrapped around it's throat in a better attempt to hold its head back, but that leverage too started slipping when her hand started piercing and tearing through the decaying flesh and muscle.

The snarling thing was just about to chomp into her when the arrow came flying through it's forehead.

She didn't even have the time to be shocked because an instant later Daryl was pulling the thing off of her and yanking her to her feet before pulling her along in a run out the front door that was now clear.

"Why ain't you with 'em?" he asked her as they made it outside.

"I.." she tripped slightly, still in his grasp and struggling to keep up with his longer strides. "Got held up. Told her we'd meet at the road."

He went to say something she would never get to hear when a walker stepped out in front of them. He stopped them and pause for a moment, before throwing a violent blow with his crossbow, effectively ending the threat. They kept going and made it to the road, having just enough time to spot the one dropped bag she had thrown to Beth and Luke's yellow handkerchief lying there, before hearing the squealing tires, both of them looking up to see the dark vehicle race off down the road.

They both yelled out and started running at the same time.

There wasn't even time to think, just to run. Keep running. Just keep track of the car.

It wasn't long before the car was out of sight, so she switched her mantra to just keep track of Daryl, since he was currently ahead of her. But that quickly became just as hard. At her best she knew she'd never be able to keep up with him, let alone at such a decline. But she kept moving. Long after he too was no longer in her sights, she kept moving. Slow, pitiful, but moving nonetheless.

She didn't know how long she had been chasing after them both, wasn't sure how much time separated her from Daryl when she finally caught up to him again in the early morning hours.

He was laying on the ground, in the middle of the road by the train tracks, flat on his back and arms out at his sides. He could have easily passed for dead if it wasn't for the rapid rise and fall of his chest.

She shuffled over to him in a bit of a trance, coming to a halt at his feet as she stared down the empty road.

No car. No nothing. Just empty road stretching on for miles.

She felt her heart shattering at the understanding.

They were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to claim it, but The Tale of Peter Rabbit and all that belongs to the lovely Ms. Beatrix Potter


	7. Aisle 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's that time again. Flashback.

It was getting harder.

It was getting  _so much_  harder.

The isolation and loneliness. The quiet. The endless amount of time to spend in your own head with no distractions, taking your own inventory and coming face to face with all of it. The sadness. The fear. Anger. Resentment. Guilt. Regret. Every single last decision you wished you could do differently. All of the things you wish you would have said and the few you wish you hadn't. It was always there. Ever present. And it was absolutely crippling.

She had always been a shy and introverted kid, unless someone came up to her first and started the conversation. Then, as a teenager, she had to start dealing with anxiety and minor panic attacks from time to time. One of the only traits she had actually received from her mother. It was simple at first, stressing out too much over school, what she wanted to do with her life, the usual for most kids her age. The doctor had told her she simply worried too much and just needed an outlet to put that extra energy into. Which helped, a little, for a time. That was when music had really become such a strong staple in her life. She was able to put on a album and be able to drift away to a more mellow mind space. It seemed though that the older she got the stronger it became. It developed into social anxiety as well and it became such a struggle to get out of the house some days, knowing all she'd be able to do is think about all the negative things people were saying about her. It was right after her 30th birthday that things really fell apart. She couldn't sleep one night and, suddenly, the only things she could think of were all of the things she had wanted to do in life and all the things, she suddenly realized, she might never get the chance to do. It triggered an onslaught of depression that took her nearly six months to get out of and a lot of post work to try to keep the darkness at bay. But she had medication then to help, had ever since it very first started progressing so strongly in her early 20s. Heaven forbid her mother not have her daughter in treatment and medicated before the neighbors could start whispering. Even if she was already an adult by then and should have been considered her own person, Ronda Foster had always been much more concerned with image and the opinions of others.

But that was another lifetime. Now she had to work through it all completely on her own. And this was also a lot different than anything she had ever had to deal with before.

She had no intentions of leaving her shelter today. There had been an increase of activity in the area recently, both from the living and the dead, and she really wanted to bunker down for one more day before moving on. It just felt like something was going to happen today and she didn't want to risk safety if it wasn't absolutely necessary, but she also couldn't take it anymore.

She had to get out. Had to get out of that place and just do something,  _anything_. Just some sort of distraction to keep her from doing what it was she was really itching to do.

She stayed close to the treeline as best she could, just in case she had to make a quick escape into the woods. Her hands were shaking. Her stomach was rolling so much it was making her nauseous. She had tried humming a song to herself to quiet the noise in her head but was almost instantly joined by the dead as soon as she started. She would have killed for some sort of music player and headphones.

She ended up in a small town. More specifically, she ended up in front of a medium sized drug store. There was no reason to go inside. She knew anything worth taking would have already been gone long ago. But still, she  _did_  need something to do.

She had her bowie knife firmly in hand, the best material gift she had ever gotten from her grandfather, and made sure any other weapon she might need was in easy reach. After peering in the best she could through the filth cover glass, she gave a few knocks on the glass, waiting a few moments before heading in when nothing showed up. She listened to the little bell above the door jingle as she walked in and waited once again, listening for any indication that she wasn't alone. When she was satisfied she slowly started making her way around. Just as she assumed, there was next to nothing left. She managed to locate a pack of strawberry gum that she had already taken several pieces from, a few odds and ends she thought she might be able to repurpose later on, a random pack of rice cakes she found hidden under a shelf that even she had trouble justifying taking (but food was food) and a pair of red plastic heart shaped sunglasses she plucked off a broken display stand because.... just because. She had been wearing them since she picked them up.

The afternoon was getting late. She knew if she didn't start heading back now she'd most likely get stuck traveling in the dark, which she had no desire to do. So, she got her bag together and stored the few things she snatched and made her way back to the front of the store. She was just about to leave when she heard movement. That distinct scratching sound with accompanying snarls and moans.

She could have left. Probably should have left. There's was nothing preventing her from leaving, no need to go looking for a fight. But...

_'Waste not, want not.'_ her grandfather would always say.

And besides, she could still use a little something to do.

So, quietly, she set her bag back down and, ever so carefully, she tracked the sound to the back of the store, the very end of aisle 9, where she found a door. She listened to try and judge how close the thing might have been to the door and when she was certain she'd have room to open the door and swing if need be, she slowly opened the door with her knife raised and ready.

The door opened to reveal a storage room lined with metal shelves that had long been ransacked. The dead one didn't even notice her. It was too busy trying to get into the second door on the other side of the small room. She wasted no time in disposing the reanimated corpse, not even bothering to remove her sunglasses. This stuff was like muscle memory now anyways.

A woman, late 30s maybe. She was recently turned. Very recently. A bite mark to her neck.

She looked down at the dead woman for a few more moments, feeling something stir within her that she couldn't identify as anything other than the sudden and overwhelming urge to just cry.

So she did.

She slid down the wall, ended up curled on the floor next to the poor woman she had just put down for good. It was some sort of existential, philosophic crisis, she would later self diagnose herself with. The roaring flood of thoughts and words were consuming her.

Did the dead keep any of themselves after they died? Was she just putting down mindless corpses when she took them out or was she actually snuffing someone's flame? Their last dying embers?

She had had a dream recently, one of those nightmares she couldn't wake up from, where she had been walking around with someone, just the two of them and being followed by the feeling and need to keep moving. After a while she realized the person she was with was in fact her, dead. Reanimated and ever moving, trying to feed the hunger that never ceased. And it was her living self trying to keep her dead self from moving, to keep her as still as possible to distract her from the hunger, to try to lull her into some sort of sleep state. It never worked. Every time she thought she finally had it done, the smallest movement or sound would revitalize her dead self, and the two would have to set off again.

The terror had been bone chilling and paralyzing, and stuck with her like a second skin long after she had woken up the next morning.

She lay there for some time, contemplating if it was even worth it to get up but shut the idea down the second she started hearing her grandfather's disapproving humming in her ear.

She rose slowing, as if afraid to startle the atmosphere least she get sucked into another self imposed black hole. She sat on her knees, taking in a deep breath before letting it out as slowly as she could before repeating the action a few more times in a vain attempt to recenter herself enough to be able to make the trip home. When she felt like she was as steady as she was going to get she braced a hand on the wall to push herself to a standing position. It was when she bent back down to grab her knife that she finally seen the sign taped to the door.

A single white sheet of paper. One line written in crooked, feminine writing and several dry wet spots littered around the words themselves.

**_Save Him From Me. Please_.**

It clicked so fast she didn't know how she couldn't have possibly registered it all before. There was no other noise coming from anywhere in this building, and the dead only try to get to one thing. The constant hunger.

She almost had the door open before she could process it but was able to catch herself before she did. There could be anything on the other side. Was she prepared for that?

Her head lowered slightly and her eyes drifted over to the dead woman on the floor. Her open and vacant eyes were staring at her, unmoving, her mouth somewhat parted in a expression that she was only able to interpret as one thing: Pleading.

In one swift movement she raised her right arm that held her knife tightly and flung the door open with the other, stumbling back and dropping her knife with an obnoxiously loud clatter on the floor as soon as she did. The heart shaped sunglasses went flying across the room when she reached up to simultaneously fling them off to give her eyes better access and also cover her mouth.

Brown eyes.

Big and warm and  _almost_  familiar, but not.

It was surreal. This is exactly the story she had conjured up in her mind not seconds ago, and yet to actually  _see_  it stole her breath away.

This little boy, no older than 5, sitting there in a dinky little bathroom space, covered in blankets, clutching a small red backpack and listening to what looked like an old walkman player. She could barely see anything other than streaky shadows dancing around the room, courtesy of the small window in the storage room area, but it was all she needed to see the tear tracks down his face.

She let out just a whisper of air. " _Hi._ " It was so soft she wasn't entirely sure she even said it at all. Her eyes widened slightly as the weight of the moment started getting sharper. She took a minor step forward before repeating herself again, softly, but loud enough that he could hear it before understanding he wasn't going to hear anything with his earphones still on.

She bent down slowly as if approaching a scared and injured animal, then gently reached out to pull his headphones down, hearing the words of Louis Armstrong's 'It's a Wonderful World' drifting out from them.

She couldn't help the way she started to brush his dark curly hair away from his face. It was partly to check him over, make sure he wasn't injured or bitten or scratched anywhere. But it was also partly...something else.

"Hi there. A..ar.." she took a moment to clear her throat when it started to feel tight. "Are you alright? Are, are you hurt?" she looked him over again when he didn't answer, and watched him finally shake his head 'no' after a few beats.

She nodded to herself. "Ok...ok, that's good." she locked eyes with him and was able to clearly see the despair seeping in. He was young, but he  _knew_. And of all the things she had seen and been a part of since the world went to hell, this was the worst. This was the most heartbreaking.

She suddenly reached out, calmly as she could in an attempt to not frighten him further, and gentle wrapped an arm around his small shoulders and pulled him into her, resting her hand against the back of his head to hold him more securely. He moved with her very willingly, she would realize some time later.

"It's ok sweetheart," she didn't even know she had started rocking the both of them back and forth, " I got ya."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dream mentioned here is actually a dream I had a few years ago when I was going through some stuff and it, legit, scared the hell out of me. Easily one of the top 3 worst nightmares I've ever had.


	8. Strangers

She stood there silently for several minutes, just trying to catch her breath.

Why did it always seem like she couldn't breathe?

It was the feeling of her stomach dropping that slowly brought her to her knees, like an invisible force anchoring her to the ground. She braced her hands on the road below her to keep herself upright.

_How the hell did this happen?_

Was it her? Was this her fault? For making Beth leave on her own with Luke when she clearly didn't want to? Had she caused this by not being there to protect them?

The fear and panic came crashing in all at once.

Daryl noticed. He had the memory of that exact same haunted, shame filled look of guilt and failure of Carol's burned into his brain from Sophia. The nights of her crying and weeping in her sleep, he was seeing all of that materialize right in front of him all over again.

He hated the feeling.

Helplessness.

But he had to stop her. Her breathing was getting too erratic and the last thing he needed right now was her becoming a heaping pile of hysteria. They could find time for that later, but not now.

He pushed himself up on his elbows. "Hey."

She didn't answer. Wouldn't even look his way.

He sat up fully now, starting to feel itchy and nervous in his discomfort over her breakdown.

"Hey, yo.." he huffed out a breath. "Ya gotta try'n calm down."

Too late. She was hyperventilating now and her body was shaking uncontrollably.

_Fuck._

Couldn't these woman ever see that crying chicks wasn't his thing? Or consoling? He couldn't talk people down like Rick, sure as  _shit_ couldn't comfort them like Glenn. So why the hell did they always end up with him?

_Dammit_ , he thought, as he got up and then crouched down right in front of her, trying to catch her eye and get her to just focus on something else.

"Look, just try ta breathe for a second." he said with as much patience as he could muster up. Which, admittedly, wasn't much. Not that it would have done much of anything, anyway. He could tell she was so far gone now she wasn't even present with him anymore. And if she started getting any louder who knew what kind of company it could draw. He tried to reach out and place a hand on her shoulder but she just kept swatting it away. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that it wasn't right, the anger that was boiling up just under his skin over her non compliance. But added to the ever growing shit list of things that had gone wrong for him over the past week or two, however long it had been now, and he was having a hard time finding and securing his empathy. By the third, particularly sharp, slap to his hand he'd had his fill. "Dammit, that's enoug.."

That was when he made his mistake.

In his haste he had latched onto her upper arm, none too gently, and she reacted instantly.

He had just barely caught sight of her left hand coming up and her lunging before, next thing he knew, he was once again flat on his back and she was crouched over him with her bowie knife digging into his throat.

It was easily the quickest he had ever seen her move, would never had guessed she even could move that swiftly, injured or not. She just didn't seem the type. Fortunately, his surprise at the unexpected attack was enough to squelch his own knee jerk reactions to fight back.

He watched for just the briefest of moments as her normally chocolate eyes seemed to turn almost onyx with the fire blazing behind them, but it extinguished just as quickly as it had appear as the clarity returned and they then suddenly widened.

In a flash that was just as quick, she had thrown the knife and made to jump up and scoot back all at once, causing her to stumble over her feet before falling back to her butt by his own feet a second later.

Daryl rose up again, slowly, tentatively, while also holding his hands out in front of him to show he meant no harm. She was staring at him, finally, but it wasn't all that much better then when she had been falling apart, he found. Now she just looked wrecked, horrified that she had even done that.

But he knew, without having to ask questions or speak a word, that that wasn't meant for him. She hadn't reacted to being touch because she had no problem when he had grabbed her shoulder or tried to grab at her hands. She might as well have been swatting at flies with how unaware she had been of everything around her. It was only when he specifically grabbed her upper arm that she acted, and she had attacked with a particular type of reflex, one that stemmed from muscle memory. Reflexes like that weren't learned, they were ingrained into your d.n.a, stitched into your very make up.

The kind of hairpin trigger reflexes that only came from personal experience.

It was what made him soften...slightly.

He went to shake his head, give her some sort of indication that it was ok, but she shot up once again and was walking off and disappearing into the lush trees before he could get anything across to her. He thought momentarily about calling out to her, maybe even following, but it was clear she needed some space, and this time he couldn't find a good enough reason to try to stop her.

So he sat there, alone, allowing himself once again to drown in his own self pity and guilt.

     -x-

The worst part for Tess was the feeling like this panic attack would never end. How on earth would she ever be able to track Luke down if she couldn't pull herself together enough before she ended up dead herself from self induced suffocation? And Daryl. How was she suppose to face him again now that she had attacked him? She hadn't meant to, had no desire or want to, and yet the very second his hand had made contact with her arm it was like a shrill ringing in her ears and suddenly she was back in that god forsaken clearing with those two men. Grabbing her. Holding her. Touching her. Taunting her.

It had all seemed so real and right there in front of her again and all she could feel was the primal urge to survive that came from that day. It was only when she looked down and seen surprised, slightly concerned, blue eyes staring back at her that she understood where she was.

She felt the hot tears streaming now as her chest started tightening even more. It just wasn't ending. Why did it have to feel like it would never end?

_'Just 10 more seconds little bird, that's all.'_

She paused for a second at the always comforting voice, before closing her eyes as tightly as she could, taking in as deep a breath as her gasping lungs would allow, and held it for ten seconds before letting it out as slowly as she could. With her breathing still being so off, it came out more like a gush of air, like breaking through the water's surface after being under too long, but she then repeated the process to slightly better results.

She continued this for a time, ten seconds in and then out, over and over.

After several minutes her breathing started to even out and the lightheaded feeling started to subside. After about fifteen minutes she felt like she could actually function. She waited a few more after that, just to be sure she was steady, and pushed herself up from the tree she had fallen against and started to make her way back to the road.

She was just about to step out from the trees when she heard all the extra voices. She halted herself wearily, and squinted through the thick foliage to see what was going on.

It was Daryl, but he was hardly alone anymore. He now had company, or, was surrounded by company, more like. There were six other men with him, encircling him like a group of vultures claiming dinner. They all had their weapons drawn, Daryl included, but the older, grey haired man that was doing all the talking appeared to be trying to reason with him in some way. Must have been the leader of the group.

Tess felt something stir within her then. She had never seen these guys before, and yet there was something there, something oddly familiar. It was almost like a memory she couldn't place, or a name she couldn't match to a face but knew regardless. It sent a chill down her spine.

She watched as Daryl stayed perfectly still, face completely unreadable and body taut with tension. And then, suddenly, he lowered his crossbow and she watched as the rest of the group followed suit. He made a subtle show of looking at the group around him, giving the impression he was just checking them out fully for the first time, but Tess was momentarily able to catch his eye and see the barely there head shake he gave her.

She still hardly knew him, hadn't spent the hours talking to him like she had Beth, but she had still had the time to watch him in the days leading up to this. It was impossible not to see he was practically built for this new world. He had the smarts, the edge, the skills. He knew what he was doing and she trusted his judgement. So for him to be wary of them enough to want to keep her presence hidden, it had her taking a step back farther into the trees.

She watched as they gathered their stuff back up and continued along the train tracks, Daryl, with one last glance towards her hiding spot, trailing behind with barely contained reluctance. She didn't miss the subtle flick of his wrist either as he tossed something into the overgrown grass and weeds without his new buddies seeing.

It wasn't long until they were out of sight completely. She stayed in her spot though, hidden from the world for almost an hour after they had gone, wanting to be absolutely certain the area was cleared before she reemerged. Walking over to the area where she had seen him toss something, she dug around and after a few short minutes she located the object. It was her bowie knife, a vein attempt to not leave her without any sort of protection at all, she figured. She released a small breath of relief. At least it was something. She'd have to remember to thank him later for that, she didn't like the idea of having to...

Oh.

_Ohh._

It hit her then. Why had she just assumed she  _would_  be seeing him later? He had just gone off with god knows who to god knows where.

She slowly spun around in a small circle, looking out over the roads of the small crossroads she was standing at to see nothing but clear horizons.

No Beth.

No Luke.

And now no Daryl.

She was alone, again.

_'Out of sight, out of mind.'_

Her grandfather's voice was right, as always. She couldn't do this now, couldn't afford to let herself have yet another meltdown. Think about something,  _anything_  else but don't feed the beast.

Safety. Shelter. Get out of the open.

She briskly walked back to the covering of the woods, wanting to at least be somewhere where she could attempt to take cover if need be. She needed to find a place where she could start thinking about where and how she was even going to attempt to track down the three people who had become her own group. Perhaps if she...

**No. Not now.**

She shut the thought off quickly, and started humming a song softly to herself for distraction. She went with the first thing she could think of, Sam Cooke's 'Bring It On Home To Me'. Decidedly, it probably wasn't the best choice for distraction purposes. But it helped, and luckily there didn't appear to be any walkers around to be drawn out by the soft sound.

She made it three thirds of the way through her solo concert when she broke through another tree line lining the small incline that cradled the train tracks on each side. She was trying to ease her way down to avoid tripping and suddenly caught sight of the three people standing a few yards up, the same exact time they caught sight of her. Everyone froze at once.

Tess' mind was telling her to book it, just to be safe, but her body was having trouble keeping up, too startled by running into yet  _another_  group.

_Where the hell were all these people suddenly coming from anyways?_

"Hey there." said the black man. He stepped out slightly from the two woman he was with, both of whom were considerably more on edge than he was. He had much more of an ease about him. "Those are some nasty looking injuries you got there, are you alright?" he was looking her over with concern.

Her defenses kicked in immediately.

"What makes you think I'm alone?" was her counter. It came out harsh, more so than she would have ever intended, but she couldn't risk them knowing she was alone and give them ample advantage.

The two woman tensed more and the man looked around him with slight apprehension.

"Are you?"

She watched the three of them silently. She didn't want to do this. Didn't have the desire or time to send out feelers and determine if these people could be trusted or needed to be avoided. But, she was tired. Physically, mentally, all of it. She was exhausted and she was just so sick of having to judge and test everyone you came across.

_'You gotta give a little to get a little.'_

She let out a big breath with an equally big sigh and let the defeat set in. "Yeah," she let her right hand drop to replace her knife back in its holder around her leg. "Yeah, I'm alone."

Somehow, it hurt even more to say and hear out loud.

The man looked back to the two woman before coming back to Tess, seeing the lost look she wore. "Which way you headed?"

"I.." she paused a second to look at the surrounding area, "I don't know. I'm lookin' for someone. For some friends and...and..." she never finished the sentence but they all watched as her face fell just slightly more.

She missed the shared look amongst them, the understanding.

"Well, then, looks like we're in luck." she looked up again to find him smiling warmly at her and the two woman no longer seemed to be as much on edge. "We're looking for our people too, maybe we can join forces, improve our chances?"

It was too tempting. She couldn't even lie to herself and pretend she didn't want to or had reservations. Despite everything recently, and even the stuff before, she desperately did not want to be alone again. Not now, not in all of this. And the man's soft, comforting smile damn near made her want to cry at the moment. She took a small sniff to try to reign the tears in before thy started.

"Yeah?"

His smile got bigger. "Yeah. We found signs, directions to a place called Terminus, suppose to be a safe haven for all. That's where we're headed, hoping to maybe run into some of our own there, maybe yours too."

Terminus. She didn't know it. Had never seen any signs for such a place but on paper it sounded like a smart plan. If there was a safe place, a community around that was taking in people and giving out directions on how to get there, it seemed completely logical that other people would go there hoping to reconnect with people they had been separated from. Not to mention, Beth and Luke had been taken by someone in a car and it stood to reason that a working, functioning community would have such a resource. Maybe they had been brought there. Maybe the group Daryl had begrudgingly followed were headed that way as well. Maybe she would walk through the place and be reunited with all of them instantly.

She knew, realistically it could be a long shot at best and a total bust at worst. But the hope it inspired was too loud to ignore.

"Ok."

He gave a small nod. "Well, ok then." he walked over closer to her, the two woman close on his heels. "It'll be nice to have you along. I'm Bob."

She returned the offered handshake he extended. "Tess."

"It's great to meet you Tess. This is.." he went to introduce the black woman that was now at his side but was abruptly cut off.

"Sasha." she was stern, but after a second and a brief once over, put a hand out for Tess to shake, which she also accepted with a nod.

"And I'm Maggie." said the white woman, also offering a small handshake.

It was the slightest tickle in her mind that occurred when Tess went to file the names away. It caused the smallest of frowns to form before shock overtook her features.

"Wait, _Maggie?!_ "

It was clear that the name recognition surprised them all, and she watched as the doubt slowing started creeping in.

Maggie was tense again. "...Yeah."

"Maggie...Greene?"

That definitely got attention.

"How did you know that?"

"I," Tess couldn't help the slight bubble of a laugh that popped up. A small smile had formed despite the slight look of disbelief. "Beth."


	9. Strangers on a Train

It was getting hard to tell if she was cursed, these people were cursed, or if it was a shared talent.

The knowledge of Beth and Daryl went a long way. With Bob's lead, they had decided on going with trust quickly, but being able to tell them something meaningful about some of their own had them treating her like she had been with them all along, much like Beth and, to some extent, Daryl had. She told them, in as much detail as she could recount, how they had found her in a very bad way and had helped her, taken her and Luke in with them. They didn't seem at all surprised and Maggie's face lit up with pure pride as she told them about the way Beth had tended to all her injuries and had had a heavy hand in nursing her back to health those couple of days at the funeral home, plus taking to Luke like a true mother hen.

Then she had to get into the harder stuff, the answers that wouldn't be bringing as much comfort. It was a little overwhelming, but Tess did her best to keep up with Maggie's rapid fire questions about her sister and her whereabouts. She hated having to break the news, that she didn't actually know where she was, that she had been taken and she and Daryl had lost track of the car before being separated themselves.

The disappointment dampened the air instantly, but not quite as strongly as the hope and certainty in Maggie's eyes that if her sister was last seen alive, they would most definitely find her. It was only a matter of when and where. Tess usually wasn't one to get her hopes up, much preferring to be pleasantly surprised by things instead of hoping for them and being let down. But, it was undeniable that Maggie's confidence was infectious nonetheless.

She told them everything she could about the group Daryl had been forced to follow too. There was obvious worry, but there didn't seem to be as much concern, it seemingly being understood and agreed upon amongst the three of them that he was more than capable of taking care of himself. They were also certain, since he too was now traveling the tracks, that he would finally see the Terminus signs and eventually make his way there to look for his people.

She also told them about Luke, watching as the pity and sympathy entered their eyes. It was then when Maggie had really started getting serious about her belief they would find Beth, and therefore Luke as well.

Tess wanted to believe it so very badly.

She had thought once she explained to them how she knew two people from their group they would immediately start back on track, heading to this Terminus place.

She was wrong.

Once the information was exchanged they were all, Bob especially, suddenly concerned with her physical condition. They insisted she sit down and rest for a few moments, Bob taking the time to look over her injuries himself. She learned that he was a medic in the army, before. He had been impressed with Beth's handiwork, particularly with the stitches to the gash on her side, which she finally allowed him to examine after some gentle coaxing. They had pulled some, between the struggle with the walker and the running, but they were still in tack. The only thing that was giving him a little trouble was the fact that she was still showing signs of having sustained a serious concussion, something she remembered Beth had gotten worked up over their second night at the funeral home. She had been singing at the piano when she stopped out of the blue, wide eyed stare directed at Daryl as she launched into a tirade about Tess' condition.

_"Oh my god, of course she has a concussion! How could I have not thought of that?! Jesus Daryl we let her sleep all that time! How could we be so stupid..."_

For his part, he hadn't seemed to think it was nearly as serious.

_"What? She still alive, ain't she?"_

After the medical inspection they had her drink some water before Maggie tried to bestow a  _fresher_ pair of jeans on her, noticing how ripped up her own had become. The thought was nice, but even with the apocalypse diet Tess still had several inches, and roughly 15-20lbs on her and she knew without even trying that anything that fit Maggie wouldn't so much as go past her thighs.

But she kept insisting and Tess couldn't bring herself to refuse the kindness anymore, so she went off behind some bushes, made a show of trying to get them on.

She had been right though. They hit mid thigh and simply wouldn't budge any farther.

It was sweet of Maggie to offer the apologetic smile afterwards, as if she had done something wrong by her.

Bob ended up giving her a spare pair of cargo pants he had. They were too baggy, but with her belt she was able to keep them sitting up on her waist. The loose fit was actually a welcomed change compared to the ratty denim that had been clinging to her like a second skin for far too long. He also gave her a long sleeved button up that, although she already felt like a dog for accepting the items, was a bonus touch. Even with being born and raised in the state of Georgia, it still never ceased to amaze her how quickly the weather could change from sweltering heat to biting cold.

She had to insist she was fine to go once Sasha started to lose the fight against her impatience. It was time to get moving.

She learned more things about them and the people they were looking for as they walked.

First there was Glenn. Maggie's husband, she remembered from her talks with Beth. He had gotten away from the prison, they thought, on a bus. Though when they found the bus he was nowhere to be found and thus Maggie had been leaving him signs, leading him to Terminus and back to her.

Then there was Tyreese, Sasha's older brother. They didn't have much information on him. They didn't even know if he had made it out of the prison. Bob and Maggie, like with most things, it appeared, were optimistic about the possibilities, but a look at Sasha's over all demeanor told her she was much more like Tess, a pessimist until proven wrong.

There was the rest of the group that they of course were hoping to catch up to as well, but these two individuals, along with Beth who had also been on that list, seemed to be top priority.

Tess also answered the basic questions they had been asking her along the way. Where she was from, if she had any other family besides Luke left, had she been part of a group before and curious questions about her time alone. It made her uncomfortable, not at all use to a variety of people to interact with and never having the social skills pre-apocalypse to keep easy conversation going. It reminded her of her school days and having to read her reports and essays in front of the class. Having all the eyes on her. She never once got the stage fright under control enough to get through a full paper.

Once they came to the entrance of the tunnel she didn't have to worry about talking anymore. Both fortunately and unfortunately respectably. 

Just looking into the blackness gave her the creeps. It was like the mouth of the tunnel was taunting them, just  _daring_  them to enter. If she had been alone or the decision had been hers, she would have opted to spend the extra time to find the way around. No need to go looking for trouble. But, despite the fact she was sure Sasha agreed with her, there was no disillusions about the fact that Maggie was the one running this mission and calling the shots. Everybody else was just along for the ride.

And, so, Tess tried to keep a cap on her growing dread as they ventured deeper in. She guessed they were about halfway through when the shit hit the fan.

First there was a large group of walkers in front of them, that they  _tried_  to fight through. Bob, Maggie and Sasha were using their guns and Tess her bowie knife. But, the small amount of progress they had  _seemed_ to be making was thrown out the window when it suddenly seemed like they were all but surrounded with no hope of skating by.

She had no idea what she thought it would do, or where the plan even came from when Maggie abruptly raised her gun and emptied the remainder of her clip into the roof of the tunnel.

There was just enough time to duck and cover their heads when the chunks of cement and stone came crashing down. Once the dust settled enough for them to see the result of Maggie's achievement, Tess couldn't help but stare at her in awe and admiration.

Maggie Rhee, was a total badass.

With all the commotion they were able to bypass the remaining stragglers quickly and without incident, but found another surprise waiting for them as they came to the tunnel's exit.

Three more people. Abraham, Rosita and Eugene. Tess couldn't help but wonder, for the first time, if maybe she was actually dreaming all of this. After so long of seeing next to no human life, it was as if overnight the world had repopulated and people were just popping up out of the woodwork. They also had quite the story about their own mission to Washington D.C so that Eugene, a scientist, could cure the virus that had caused this whole mess.

Tess couldn't decide if the story was wild enough to be true, or just plain wild. She believed full-heartedly that the guy was a scientist. Not that her smarts were anything to go on, but he certainly talked and sounded like a scientist. An odd one, sure, but one nonetheless. This business about a magic cure though? That sounded too good. But, it could be filed away for the time being, seeing as they also had another tale to tell. One of a young Korean man looking for his wife, who had insisted on making the trek through the tunnel himself.

She thought Maggie's head just might explode at the news. Hell, she started feeling excited herself and she didn't even know the guy past the little tidbits she had been getting over the last several days.

They all piled into the trio's car quickly as they drove back through the tunnel they had just emerged from. Some ways down, the small horde of leftover walkers they hadn't bothered killing had gathered and were zeroed in on two occupants who were huddled against the wall, in between the fallen debridement from Maggie's gun shots earlier. They all, save Tess and Eugene, the only two without guns, jumped out and Abraham had just barely got a  _'Get Down!'_  yelled out before they lit the place up, effectively putting down the remaining walkers just before they reached the other two.

The man had just peeked his head up when Maggie took off towards him before throwing her arms around him, him catching her easily and returning the embrace before sharing a passionate kiss. Or two.

_So, this was Glenn._

It was impossible not to feel the joy and love and utter happiness from the two. It caused a small smile to come to Tess' face. It was about time  _something_  started going right.

The new introductions were made. Tara, Glenn's new ally who had helped him get here, was introduced to all of them and Tess was introduced to the two of them.

There was a minor disagreement over the next steps. Abraham, the decisive leader of the threesome was adamant that all nine of them stick together and head to Washington D.C as a strong unit, but none of them would even consider it without first checking out Terminus. With Rosita's suggestion that they might have supplies there that they would need for the road, Abraham finally agreed and made the decision to set up camp in the tunnel. It was cleared out of any of the dead now and they would be able to easily hear any incoming threats. It was agreed upon between all of them that after everything they went through to find each other, Maggie and Glenn deserved a chance to just sit and be for a while, plus they could all use the rest.

Abraham had come over to her later that night, asking how she was with a gun. She told him the truth, that she knew the basics and could handle one safely thanks to her grandfather's insistent teachings, she just wasn't as comfortable with them as she was with her knife. She always felt like there was an extra dose of control when fighting hand to hand. He chose to ignore the latter part of her answer and tossed a standard glock. 22 into her lap, highly amused by the near heart attack the unexpected action gave her. When she tried to give it back he refused, stating no man on his crew was going around not packing.

She had offered to take first watch, already sensing she wouldn't be sleeping that night, not with Luke just  _out there,_  somewhere. Plus the last of the adrenaline from that morning, along with the excitement of everything in between had started wearing off and she was hurting. Nothing as bad as the previous few days, but enough that she knew that that, too, would keep her awake. And it did. She was up long after Sasha came to relieve her. She spent a majority of the night silently creeping on Maggie and Glenn. She couldn't help herself. She may not have known what true love felt like, but she definitely knew what it  _looked_  like. She spent countless hours listening to her grandfather retell the stories of how he and his wife, the grandmother she never got the chance to meet, had met and fell in love and the life they built for themselves. She had spent hours of her life going through their old photo albums, seeing the way they stared at each other like they were each other's entire universe. What Maggie and Glenn had?  _That,_  was true love.

She had just dozed off for twenty minutes when Bob was waking her up the following morning, telling her it was about time to start moving. Once they were all up and had their stuff packed, they headed off towards the big destination.

They had arrived there just fine, not a single hiccup on their way there. They made their way in and met with the people just fine too. Very friendly folks. Very accommodating. Then Abraham had mentioned D.C.

If nothing else, they were all thanking their lucky stars and any sort of god that might still be around that things went south before they got the chance to eat.

Tess now found herself, along with the others, locked in a train car like cattle and contemplating just who it was that was bringing the bad mojo because, surely, one group of people couldn't  _possibly_  have this much bad luck.

The sudden rain of gun fire outside told her she had spoken, or thought, too soon.

They all jumped to attention at once, trying to see out of the cracks on either side of the door, to find out what was going on but it was useless. There was a definite feeling of helplessness as they were forced to listen to the fire fight, knowing  _someone_  out there needed help and there was nothing they could do about it.

The gun fire stopped just as abruptly as it had begun. After a few beats they could hear yelling. It was muffled at first, but then it started becoming clearer. The guy who seemed to be running things, Gareth, was giving out instructions to whoever they had entrapped now. He was giving out random nicknames, too. Ones that meant nothing to Tess but, the more they were repeated, she noticed, the more tense the others, save for Abraham, Rosita, Eugene and Tara, were getting. Almost like recognition was starting to set in.

Still, when they heard steps getting close they started gathering towards the other end of the train car, banding together even closer when the door was slid open, not sure what to expect.

She wouldn't have expected what happened next, much as she had secretly hoped for it, much as they had come here specifically for this.

Four figures entered. Two men, a woman and then a kid.

Tess had trouble making any distinctions among the new people, but Glenn, it seemed, wasn't having the same problem in the slightest. He stepped forward, even if there was a slight hesitance still.

"Rick?"

All four turned around, and it was then she was able to clearly identify Daryl. Every single one of them in there was now wearing some degree of stunned silence on their face, not quite believing it even as it stood right in front of them.

"You're here. You're here." the relief in his voice was evident, so was the suspicion that instantly lit his eyes as they landed on the five new faces he didn't know, more so one than the others, though they didn't catch onto that part. It must have meant more than just mistrust to the people who knew him, because Maggie quickly jumped in.

"They're our friends." she stated simply with a small glance back. "They helped save us."

"Yeah." Daryl was quick to reply. "Now they're friends of ours." he sent a nod in Tess' direction. "See you picked up mine."

Tess winced to herself slightly, not at all agreeing with herself being lumped under that blanket statement. _She_  hadn't saved anyone. Even when they were all in the tunnel to help Glenn and Tara, she hadn't actually  _done_  anything. She had stayed back with Eugene.

She sent him a small nod of her own, anyways, an answer to the unasked question she could feel from him.

_I'm ok._

"For however long that'll be." was Abraham's no hope reply as he went to turn away, only to be stopped by Rick's strong determination.

 _"No."_ he said it so clearly and unquestionably that it seemed set in stone. "They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out." he finished almost smugly.

"Find out what?"

"That they're screwing with the wrong people."

Well, then, he could certainly count Tess as a believer in Rick Grimes.


	10. Escape From Train Car A

Although she still only knew little tidbits of information and hadn't had any actual interaction with the man himself yet, Tess could easily understand how Rick had become the esteemed leader they had all given her the impression he was. It was maybe five seconds between him telling them that the people of Terminus were going to regret messing with them and him dishing out orders to everyone to start getting ready, making weapons out of anything and everything they had on them. They all got to work quickly.

It was pretty impressive, their ingenuity with what they were able to create. Tess was particularly inspired by the way Rosita had MacGyvered a sort of mini stabbing spear out of one of her hoop earrings.

Not really having the option of using her belt buckle like some of the others, not without walking around with her pants, Bob's pants, around her ankles, she chose to use her time breaking off chunks of the rotting wood from the inside of the car to start sharpening to a point. As she silently worked on that, she could hear some of the others giving each other quick cliff notes of things they knew, like Michonne telling Sasha that Tyreese wasn't there, Abraham telling everyone what had happened when their group first arrived and Maggie getting Daryl's side of what happened with Beth.

At some point Daryl had taken watch at the small crack at the car's door and alerted them all that four guys were heading their way. Rick was quick to insert himself at the head of the group, throwing out instructions.

"Ya'll know what to do. Go for their eyes first. Then their throats."

For a second, it was almost like hearing her grandfather speaking.

They all got themselves positioned and ready to attack. Tess was hoping the element of surprise would be enough to get this over with quickly because the claustrophobia of being locked in like this was making it harder and harder to keep her nerves under control and she was starting to worry she might end up getting someone else hurt because she was having a tissy over being closed in.

"Get your backs to the walls on either end of the car. Now." one of the men had ordered from outside.

Rick looked around quickly, giving them all a nod to be ready.

The element of surprise had, indeed, been enough. The only problem was they weren't the ones providing it.

Glenn and Tess seemed to hear the faint footsteps above them first, glancing up in confusion, followed by Maggie and everyone else when the roof was suddenly pulled opened, allowing the light to shine through as a metal can came falling to the floor in the middle of the car. Realization hit them all at once as they all went wide eyed and Abraham screamed for them all to move.

Tess had just barely turned around and felt a slight push on her back that she knew had to come from Glenn, as he was closest to her, when the gas can exploded in a cloud of smoke. It affected them all instantly. She could hear them all coughing, gagging and gasping for air, could feel the way her eyes were stinging and the way her ears were ringing. It was completely disorienting. Like being in a fog without the ability to hear what was beyond it. She thought she might have heard the door slide open and felt somewhat like there was a scruffle besides her, but couldn't be sure of anything.

By the time the gas and smoke cleared up enough for anyone to really see anything, it was only to find that they were now missing four people.

Rick, Daryl, Glenn and Bob were gone. Had been taken.

There was a shared dumbfounded look worn by all who were remaining that spoke the same question.

_What Now?_

Minor panic set in, but was quickly replaced by arguments over what the next plan of action would be. It was several minutes of, mostly, Abraham overtaking the conversation when they were promptly interrupted, once again, by a giant explosion from somewhere outside that not only rocked the train car itself but seemed to rock the very foundation it sat on, sending them all flying to the floor once again. It didn't even seem like they had the time to pick themselves back up before gun fire was raining outside again. If it hadn't sounded like a war zone the first time when they were cornering Rick, Daryl, Michonne and Carl, it sure as hell did now. Especially when you added in all the angry and terror filled screaming coming from seemingly all around outside.

It seemed an odd thought to have, even given the current circumstances, but Tess was gradually becoming happier and happier that Luke and Beth hadn't been here for them to find.

Strangely enough, to Tess anyways, this new development seemed to spark a calm over the rest of them, even though she was freaking out more than she had at any other point since they entered this hell hole. Discussing what they could do, Carl telling them all without an ounce of uncertainty that his dad would be back and Maggie agreeing that he would, that they all would and that the rest of them needed to be ready to help them fight their ways out of here. Plus Eugene was now bent down in front of the door going on about...she couldn't understand what, save he was trying to fix up a way to open the door should there be no one left to open it for them.

It was a horrible time for random thinking, she knew, but she couldn't help but wonder - were these people this calm because they were just that use to this kind of battling, or if she was just that much weaker and incapable then she usually felt.

She slowly went back to sharpening her makeshift spear as Maggie came over and started working on her own thing. That was going to be the best she could contribute at the moment.

It was quiet in the car for a little bit after that, other than the gunfire and screaming still going on outside, and growing sounds of the familiar walker growls and snarls, some even banging hungry hands against the outside walls looking for a fresh meal.

"What's the cure, Eugene?" Sasha asked out of the blue, the distrust clear in her voice even if she was asking calmly.

Nobody stopped working, but all eyes seem to land on the two, curious, waiting to see where this would lead. It really piqued Tess' interest, seeing as she had had doubts about this whole thing from the jump.

"That's classified." he answered back instantly, almost robotically.

Tess couldn't help but roll her eyes.

_'Of course.'_

"We don't know what's gonna happen." Michonne pitched in this time.

"You leave him be." Abraham insisted, almost like a adult telling the neighborhood kids to stop picking on the weird kid.

"We need to keep working." Maggie sounded, clearly trying to keep the peace and everyone's minds on the task at hand.

"Yeah, but it's time we hear it. 'Cause we don't know what's coming next." Sasha persisted. Tess was starting to grow more fond of the woman as she looked on silently, watching. She had the gumption to sit there and ask the questions they no doubt all wanted answers to but none, Tess especially, had the nerve to challenge. Least of all now.

"What's next is we get out of here." Tara said as if it was final, clearly trying to take Maggie's approach of keeping the calm until they were at least out of danger.

"Even if I told you all, even if I provided step-by-step instructions complete with illustrations and a well-composed FAQ and I went red-ring, the cure would still die with me."

Tess shook her head to herself slightly, still not understanding half of what this fool was saying, other than he thought they were far too simple minded to understand. She was getting particularly irked by the condescending tone he had no problem  _not_  hiding.

"I'm not gonna let that happen." Abraham, again, coming to his defense.

Eugene gave him a slight nod before continuing. "The best-case scenario, we step out in a hellstorm of bullets, fire, and walkers. I'm not a fleet of foot. I sure as hell can't take a dead one down with sharp buttons and hella confidence."

"Yeah," a smug Michonne started, "But we can. And we will."

Sasha stared him down for another moment before standing. "You don't owe us anything. Not yet. But we just want to hear it." she was clearly trying to take a somewhat softer approach.

Tess couldn't bite her tongue anymore though.

"I second that."

Instantly, all eyes were on her, as if her presence had been forgotten until she spoke up. She felt on the spot again, but couldn't really just leave it at that.

She cleared her throat slightly. "Lousy timing...obviously...but, I just think it's a fair question, is all."

"You don't have to." It was Rosita who answered this time, and between the double team of her and Abraham, Tess had to wonder just how capable the man was of talking for himself.

Eugene stood then, and it was like a wave of confidence took over him, even though he looked slightly irritated by having to explain himself and reveal government secrets.

"I was part of a 10-person team at the Human Genome Project to weaponize diseases to fight weaponized diseases. Pathogenic microorganisms with pathogenic microorganisms. Fire with fire. Interdepartmental drinks were had, relationships made, information shared. I am keenly aware of the all details behind fail-safe delivery systems to kill every living person on this planet. I believe with a little tweaking on the terminals in D.C., we can flip the script. Take out every last dead one of them. Fire with fire."

_'Damn.'_  Tess thought to herself. Once again, she didn't understand half the words he used, but the overall speech itself, she couldn't deny that it at least  _sounded_  like it made sense. Maybe he wasn't so full of it. Judging by the following silence from everyone else, clearly they were thinking much the same.

He gave a look around at them, clearly pleased with himself as a smile graced his face. "All things being equal, it does sound pretty badass."

"So let's get back to work." Maggie said with finality.

They didn't get the chance to, however, because there was a sudden, hard banging against the door and before it even opened Carl jumped, almost gleefully like he knew what, or  _who_ , it was.

The door went flying open and there was Rick, bloody and some sort of assault rifle in hand with Daryl, Glenn and Bob behind him, fighting off the oncoming threats. The relief of seeing them alive was overshadowed when she got a glimpse behind him and couldn't help but to pause at the scene.

If possible, it looked significantly worse than it had sounded. She didn't get the time to dwell on it though.

"Come on! Fight to the fence!" he had yelled at them all, turning to start shooting at the surrounding walkers again to clear some sort of path as the others ushered and rushed them out of the car.

Tess was the last out and Daryl had grabbed her left arm as she jumped down, pressing something into her hands as she landed and pushing her forward. She looked down just long enough to see it was her bowie knife. She instantly felt more complete and, as if her fight switch had been turned on, she was driving it through the skull of the closest walker to her, continuing on with any that got too close as she followed the group to their escape.

It was complete mayhem and tunnel vision all at once. Despite being completely surrounded by the dead and being shot at by the very angry, and now vengeful surviving members of Terminus, she felt more comfortable out here in the madness than she had locked in the train car. Out here, she could at least  _do_  something.

Rosita reached the fence first, finding a blanket or fabric of some kind to toss over to prevent them from slicing themselves open on the barb wire that ran along the top. She hopped over first and Abraham was quick to help Eugene over after her. They followed one by one after him as Rick stood back some to lay more cover fire for them. As soon as Glenn made sure Maggie was over and safely on the other side, he followed and then it was Tess' turn. She jumped slightly so she could get a grip on the top and was able to get the toe of her boot into one of the holes in the chain link fence to push herself up, but as soon as she went to use her arms to actually push herself up and over she felt a sharp pain in her side and slipped back down, only to be forcefully pushed back over by Daryl. Although she appreciated the help, she thought for sure she was about to face plant on the other side. But, luckily, Glenn had been waiting to help if anyone needed it and he was able to catch her just enough to keep her from hitting the ground fully and got her back steady on her feet.

"Thanks." she said breathlessly.

"Yeah."

Just as soon as Daryl, Rick and finally Abraham were over, Rick and Daryl quickly took the lead of the group, navigating through the woods to a specific spot by a tree. With Daryl's confirmation that this was the spot, Rick bent down and started digging.

"The hell are we still around here for?" Abraham asked, some aggravation in his voice that they weren't high tailing it the rest of the way out of here.

"Guns, some supplies. Go along the fences. Use the rifles. Take out the rest of 'em." Rick explained, as if it should have been clear cut to all of them.

"What?" it was Glenn who questioned him, seeming somewhat stunned at Rick's plan.

"They don't get to live." he replied darkly.

It caused a slight shiver to go down Tess' spine, the coldness in his eyes. It seemed to make everyone a little uncomfortable.

Glenn seemed to consider his friend and leader before him for a moment. "Rick, we got out. It's over."

She had to agree with him. Although she understood Rick's point, it  _would_  have been nice to know, first hand, that they were good and truly dead and couldn't hurt anyone ever again, she still had to side more with Glenn, always following that same motto her grandfather had taught her early on in life.

_'No need to go looking for trouble.'_

Rick wasn't letting it go though, and soon all of them were trying to convince him it was either a bad, foolish or just plain unnecessary idea.

She decided to let them fight it out amongst themselves though, because that sharp pain she first felt when trying to get over the fence hadn't let up at all yet and it was getting harder to ignore now that they had a minute to breathe. She had been standing near the back of the group so she took their distraction as a moment to check herself. She put a hand on the closest tree to her to steady herself, feeling a little light headed and brought her left hand to press against her side. She closed her eyes slightly, already feeling the dampness but brought her hand up to confirm.

Yup. Blood.

Not a bunch, but enough that it was leaving a small stain on her, Bob's, shirt.

Everyone was still bickering when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, you alright?" it was Bob, looking between her face, side and bloody finger tips with concern.

His sudden question had seemed to catch everyone's attention because, once again, all eyes were on her and she could already see the various questions on everyone's faces.

Was she hurt? Had she been shot? Worse, had she been  _bitten_?

She started shaking her head at them all quickly. "No no no, I'm fine, just..."

But she was interrupted before she could finish by the sight she caught hold of behind Rick's back.

A woman, an older woman with short grey hair slowly making her way towards them. She seemed to hold an air of familiarity towards them, but all Tess saw was a possible Terminus survivor who could be capable of anything and it had her eyes narrowing and body tensing.

The sudden shift in her demeanor alerted them all and they swiftly turned to see what had caught her attention, all but Abraham, Rosita, Eugene and Tara freezing as they did so.

Then Daryl shot off like a lighting bolt and almost bowled the woman over with the force of his impact and bear hug he embraced her in.

The action made Tess relax some. If Daryl, someone who displayed nothing but a clear distaste for any kind of affection or touching, openly anyways, in the few days or so that she had known him, was reacting so strongly and intimately to her presence, then clearly was she not only  _not_  someone to be worried about, but she must have been part of their group.

The remaining original group all seemed to be overcome with joy and emotion as they followed after Daryl, Tess and the other newcomers staying behind. Happy as they seemed to be, they also seemed to be holding back, giving Daryl his own private moment with her. Tess watched is fascination as he pulled back slightly, only to lean his head back in to rest his head on her shoulder for a moment as she tearfully stroked his head before cupping his face to give him a watery smile.

_Maternal._

That was what flashed in Tess' mind. It was like watching a mother comfort her child. It caused the pain in her side to subside and be replaced by a tightness in her chest.

It was something she would do to comfort Luke.

Rick was the next to step up to her. He shook his head lightly in disbelief, almost as if he didn't think she could have been there.

"Did you do that?" he asked her softly.

The woman didn't seem to be able to get her emotions under control enough to actually speak, ending up just giving a barely there nod and instantly Rick had her wrapped up just as tightly as Daryl had, cradling her head to his shoulder and started whispering something Tess couldn't hear from her spot.

Before anyone else could greet her or any introductions could be made, she pulled away from Rick.

"You have to come with me."

-x-

She led them out of the woods and back to the road. They walked for about 15 minutes before coming upon a small cabin. As it came into view, a large black man emerged from the front door and started walking down the front steps, a small baby in his arms. Rick immediately took off running, Carl quickly on his tail and Sasha just behind him. Tess had a feeling when they all took off, especially with the collective gasps from some of the others in front of her, but Rick seizing the tiny baby out of the man's arms and practically falling to his knees as he clutched her closely to his chest, Carl right there to see the baby, stroking its head,  _her_  head, was the confirmation.

This was baby Judith.

And the embrace that occurred between Sasha and the large man as she sobbed happily was another check off the list.

Tyreese. Her brother.

Their people. Their friends. Their family. They had found them.

The group watched on fondly, even the newcomers, even Tess. It was impossible not to be touched by the reunions.

It was also what had Tess shutting down slightly and having to turn away. As happy as she was for them, she so badly wished she could have that moment for herself. She so badly wished she had Luke back in front of her, safe and smothering him with hugs and kisses.

She could feel the sting in her eyes and was feeling so tired after everything that day that she initially wasn't even going to try to fight it off. But, then, she felt someone's gaze on her and she hurriedly blinked them away before chancing a glance to see who was watching her.

Daryl.

It wasn't even  _like_  he knew, he just  _knew_. Sure, it wasn't that hard to figure out, it wouldn't be for any of them who knew about Luke. But, it was something a little different than just that. It was like he was staring  _into_  her and could sense and feel everything she was thinking.

Part of it felt nice to have someone who really  _understood_  understood, but the other part of it felt invasive, like he was seeing too much of her. It was too heavy and she had to look away.

Nice as this was and all, she just wanted  _her_  family back.


	11. Let's Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna put it out there now, the little medical 'procedure' coming up in this chapter, I don't even know if it would be possible. But, ya know......fiction.

The plan for the night was simple. Get as far away from Terminus as possible and find a place to set up camp for the night so they could regroup and decide how and where to proceed from this point.

Dusk was settling in when Rick decided they were at a good enough place to stop. They checked the surrounding area, made sure it was clear before they were all back to more proper reunions and catching up. Tess had stood back a ways, not wanting to intrude and also just really feeling the need to be alone, invisible if it was possible. But, the more she watched Rick making the rounds to introduce and talk a bit with the new faces, the farther away from the main camp she slinked into, knowing he'd be making his way to her eventually and feeling like it would be a round of twenty questions, much like it had been with the other members she had met, and just not feeling up to it at the moment.

Playing keeps away worked for a little bit, but eventually he caught up to her. Luckily, though, Bob had intercepted her first, wanting to get a better look at the damage she had done to her stitches. Seeing this, he only stuck around long enough to introduce himself with a handshake and get her name, despite most likely already knowing from Daryl, told her Daryl had said she was 'good people' and that that was good enough for him. He welcomed her to the group, officially, and excused himself to let Bob do his thing, but not before giving her one last look. Despite the small, friendly smile he offered, he eyes told her, plainly, that this wasn't the end of their personal meet and greet.

Her attention was brought back to Bob when she heard his dissatisfied sigh.

"It's a little worse than I thought."

_'Great.'_ she thought. "So, then, what's the damage?"

He pointed towards the upper end of the middle of the wound, where it just started to wrap around her ribs, closer to where the deeper stab wound was, without actually touching her skin now that he didn't have to, easily catching how tense she would get and how she would flinch, even if barely sometimes, every time he had since the day before.

"You've got about seven stitches here that have popped. It wouldn't be so bad if it was down lower where the cut is more shallow, but, being this close to the deeper end...I'm not exactly comfortable with."

"Okay, so what do we do?"

"Afraid we've only got two options here."

"Which are?"

"Well," he let her shirt back down and finally looked at her for the first time since he started his assessment. "We can wait, hope we come across some supplies real soon, or...we can get... _creative._ "

That didn't sound good.

She had to swallow down the dryness that was already forming at the back of her throat.

"And, uh, just how  _creative_  are we talking here?"

He gave a slight wince. "You're not gonna like it." he sighed again when she gave him the nod to continue. "We can easily pull the thread out of a shirt hem for the string, as for a needle, long story short, an empty bullet shell and your bowie will do the trick."

Yeah...

She didn't know how he planned to make a needle out of the two items, but he was right, nothing about it sounded appealing. Bob was the expert medic though, and he wasn't happy with the wound's current condition, which was more than enough for her to be concerned about it now as well.

She looked around the woods a bit, as if they would provide an answer for her before looking back to him.

"What would you do?"

"Honestly, it's like I said. If it was down more in the shallow area I'd say you'd probably be fine until we came across some real materials, but this deeper part? I'd recommend getting that closed back up as soon as possible."

"Right." she said slowly, before letting out a big breath. "Okay then, let's do it."

He gave her a serious look. "Are you sure."

_'Nope. Not at all.'_

"Yup."

He gave her an encouraging smile, that didn't feel at all encouraging. "Okay."

-x-

Bob hadn't been lying when he said it was going to be a creative process. After talking to Rick and getting him to agree, the two had went off for about fifteen minutes, not wanting the loud sound of the gun shot close to their camp, before returning, Bob with the empty bullet shell in hand.

He next borrowed her knife and started a small fire before proceeding to heat up both items, placing a stick through the hollowed shell like a roasting marshmallow. When he deemed them ready, he quickly removed the items from the fire and with steady hands, the help of a belt buckle to hold the shell in place and an insane ability of craftiness, he managed to cut a sliver of metal out of it. After sharpening one end to serve as the head of the needle and doing his best to round out the sides slightly, he was finished and ready to go. He took the thread that she had pulled from the hem of her shirt while he had been working on the bullet shell and tied it through the small hole he was able to pierce through the small piece of metal.

"Okay, last chance to back out."

"Don't tempt me."

And with that, he started.

She should have backed out when he gave her the chance.

She had always been a punk when it came to pain, especially with needles. But this? This felt like being sliced with a mini razor blade over and over.

The first screech easily caught the attention of the others, even with Bob's shirt over her mouth to try to muffle the sound. By the third Maggie had made her way over and sat by her, offering mindless chit chat as a way to distract her some. She'd even offered a hand for her to squeeze, which Tess took gladly, even if she felt bad every time she gave a particularly hard squeeze and Maggie's face would screw up some. There was a combination of Tess apologizing to Maggie, Bob apologizing to Tess, and all three trying to assure the other it was fine.

The several minutes it took from start to finish felt impossibly long, but, finally, Bob finished up and tied off the last stitch.

"There. All done. You did great!" he gave her a big smile.

"You lie." she said in a slightly strained voice as she tried to pant through the residual pain.

"Can I have my hand back now?" Maggie asked, voice slightly strained herself.

Tess released her hand quickly, mumbling a 'sorry' as she watched Maggie shake out her hand before flexing her fingers.

"Hey, no worries. Glad I could help, even if only a little." she waved her off before making her way back over to Glenn.

Bob held out a hand to help her back into a sitting position. "Try to be a little more gentle with these one, hmm?"

She couldn't help the small snort that escaped her.

"No promises."

-x-

It was late. Maybe around midnight, would be her best guess. They were suppose to be resting, there had already been a watch schedule set up and there was no need for everyone to be up. She was wide awake though. She had trouble sleeping to begin with just knowing of all the different dangers out there, not to mention Luke, but there was also an odd feeling in the air.

The others had felt it too, some of them anyways. She had overheard Rick talking to a few of the them, mainly Daryl and Carol, about some noises coming from out there somewhere. Leaves rustling. Twigs snapping. It was enough that she saw him and Daryl take off for a few minutes, only to come back with no news to report. It was all chalked up to the sounds of nature.

But it just felt weird. It unsettled her more than she already was and made her more antsy and she finally had to get up and get moving to try to shake out the nerves.

She walked the perimeter of their camp, not wanting to intrude on anyone or accidentally step on someone in the dark. She had her hands in her pockets, alternating between making fists and flexing her fingertips inside the pockets as oppose to swinging them around in the open air. When she started to calm down just a little she fell into her usual pattern of distraction, humming a random song in her head and gaze falling to the forest floor as she watched the path she was walking instead of paying attention to where she was actually going. Which is why she noticed, too late, the faint glow of a very small camp fire. She glanced up in time to see Rick and Daryl sitting together, talking quietly and tried to to turn out of sight without gaining their attention but wasn't quick enough. She had  _just_  turned around when -

"Tess?"

_Damn._

She did another quick about-face, trying to play it off as if she had just passed them instead of hiding from them. It probably looked about as natural as it felt.

"Hmm?"

It had been Rick who had called out to her. "You alright?"

She nodded a little, but he looked, they both looked, as if they were waiting for a verbal response. "Yeah."

He frowned at her slightly. "Can't sleep?"

She shook her head, this time opting to leave it at the silent answer.

The frown lightened up some and he waved a hand in front of him. "Pull up a seat."

She sucked in the side of her cheek slightly. It was a friendly offer, but there was just the smallest undertone of an order. Clearly, this was about to be that 'talk' he hadn't really gotten the chance to have earlier. She made her way over slowly before taking a seat in front of them, already uncomfortable just with the fact that she didn't have anything to lean against. She never did like the feeling of her back being turned to the wide open. Disliked it even more these days.

He didn't start talking right away. He let her sit there, eyes bouncing between himself and Daryl, never quite making eye contact, before switching to the small fire or just the ground around her, arms coming to wrap around herself and fingertips tapping against her left arm as she waited for him to finish whatever it was he was doing before he finally spoke again.

"So, tell me about yourself."

_Here we go..._

"Mmmm...what do ya wanna know?" she asked as she shifted slightly.

"Anything." he replied with ease, though continued with a follow up question. "Where ya from, originally?"

"Um, up north, Tyrone.... Fayette County..... Born and raised." she kept adding in specifics every time he didn't immediately ask another question.

"Has it been just you and your boy from the beginning?"

Her eyes lowered slightly at the mention of Luke. "...No. No it was, um, my mother was around, in the beginning. We were, uh," she started stammering, feeling the effects of her lack of social skills kicking in and could hear the nerves in her voice. She glanced back up slightly, expecting both men to be eyeing her suspiciously for having such trouble answering such a simple question, but found nothing but patience from both. She took a breath to try to steady her heart that was quickly speeding up. "We were holed up in my grandfather's old hunting cabin. It was deep in the woods, secluded. Worked out just fine, for a little bit.

But, after about a month or so the dead started showing up more and more, we were on the verge of being overrun and couldn't stay there anymore. My mother though, she, ah, she was real sick. MS. Completely wheelchair bond and, um...she didn't make it out..." she finished softly.

It wasn't a lie. But, it wasn't the  _entire_  truth either. There were some details that she was omitting in favor of not being looked upon in a certain way. They may have opened their arms to her, welcomed her in, but that didn't mean she needed to show all her cards. Not yet.

Daryl stayed quiet, unsurprisingly, face neutral. Rick, though, was looking at her with an understanding gaze.

"I'm sorry."

She waved him off. "Don't be. It's not like we were ever close, not like I really lost much of anything."

She wanted to smack herself as soon as the words left her mouth. That sounded more heartless than she intended and she didn't miss the way Daryl's eyes squinted just a hint or the way Rick's demeanor shifted from the empathetic one he had just had and back into the more inquisitive one he had started off with.

"Why not?"

Her eyebrows rose slightly as she pursed her lips, shrugging lightly, almost in a 'I don't know' fashion. "My dad took off when I was a couple months old, decided he wasn't too keen on playing house after all. I was a constant reminder of that fact. She, uh...I think she just held a lot of resentment over that."

She looked back to the fire. The topic of her mother had been a life long sore spot, never failing to pull her into a darker place.

She heard a slight scoff.

"Parents. They always find a way 'ta blame ya for shit you ain't even have any control over." Daryl responded, for the first time with a slight edge to his voice.

She watched him for a moment as he was now staring into the fire. That definitely sounded like someone who was speaking from personal experience. For no real reason, she decided to tuck that small note away as she heard Rick give a tired sigh.

"Parents, we...sometimes we cast a shadow over our kids." he glanced off to his right, looking into the dark and Tess figured it must have been the direction his kids were in. "Whether we mean to or not."

It was almost as if that last part was meant for himself.

"I want you to know that I meant it, you're one of us now. You and your boy. And we're gonna do whatever we can, however long it takes, to get him and Beth back safely."

"Damn right we are." chimed in Daryl.

For the first time, she was able to make full eye contact with both of them, overwhelmed by both their shared conviction of finding them and the earnestness of their genuine care and concern.

She had intended to just give them a simple thank you and leave it at that, but the whirlwind of emotions she was now feeling had her wanting to return the favor in some way. To give a little bit of the trust that they were easily giving her, even after everything they had just gone through, back to them. It had her mouth overriding her mind.

"He's...he's not actually mine." she said, not much more than a whisper and head lowered back down to stare at her hands that were now clasped in her lap. "I, um, I found him. I was going through a small store and there was a walker in a back storage room and a note on the door and...and...he was just, _there_. His mom had been infected and had locked him in, hoping someone would come along and find him...I did." she finished just as quietly as she had started before seeming to realize something. "I wouldn't even know his name if it wasn't for the emergency contact card in his backpack."

She didn't know why she was always so afraid to tell the truth of her relationship to Luke. She supposed it had a lot to do with her old world thinking. How felonious looking it would be for a woman to randomly show up with a kid not hers and claiming him as her own. Like one of those crazy baby snatcher ladies they made all those Lifetime movies about.

"Nah. He's yours."

Her eyes rose to meet Daryl's and his sudden declaration, finding nothing but sincerity. It stunned her, how simply he put it, like it was nothing. Like he truly believed it was that simple.

She chanced a glance at Rick, and found he was wearing the same look as Daryl. He shrugged casually with a slight tilt of his head.

"Like the man said, he's yours."

There was just the smallest urge to hug them both as she felt her throat tightening up. She had to clear it a few times to keep from breaking apart again. She didn't quite understand how they could be so understanding, but there was no denying the overwhelming relief of not being judged as harshly as she normally judged herself.

She watched as Ricked glanced off to the side again, into the darkness. The conversation was clearly only meant to get a better understanding of her, but the path the talk had taken was also clearly affecting Rick. Tess wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Hey." Daryl called out lowly, waiting for Rick to turn his attention back towards him. "Why don't ya go on? For a while at least. Be with yer kids, I got things covered."

It was clear Rick wanted to take him up on the offer immediately, as much as it was clear he was struggling with himself on if he actually should. Ever the leader, Tess was quickly learning about the man.

He only gave Rick another moment of hesitation before he was nodding him off again with another reassurance that it was fine. Rick finally gave in with a sigh, as if he were disappointed with himself for caving. Before he left though he gave Daryl a 'thank you' with a strong grasp on Daryl's shoulder and Tess couldn't help but admire the way they seemed to be having a deep conversation without exchanging words at all. It was all looks and head nods. He sent one last quiet 'goodnight' to Tess, which she returned, before finally disappearing into the dark.

Once he was gone, Tess knew she still wasn't going to be able to find sleep any time soon, and for some unknown reason she no longer felt like walking out the nervous energy coursing through her. She was very much eyeing the spot that Rick had vacated.

"You mind?"

Daryl's head had popped up at her sudden question, and the blank look on his face was a clear indication he had no idea what she was asking him.

"That seat," she inclined her head to where Rick had previously been. "You mind if I take that up?"

He glanced over to the space she was referring to before looking back at her and shaking his head with a small grunt. She sat up and walked on her knees over to him and settled back against the tree trunk, it resting right along her spine before releasing a small noise of relief.

Daryl watched as it almost seemed like an invisible weight was lifted off of her. She reminded him of the cat he use to love as a kid. The thing couldn't stand to have it's back left exposed, always picking sleeping areas where it could lay against something. Except, maybe comparing her actions to a cat wasn't the most appropriate animal to compare her to. It would have been hard, damn near impossible not to notice her little ticks during those three days at the funeral home. Even when things were quiet and peaceful, she still wore the nervous energy like a blanket. And, she always seemed to be moving around in some way. Either tapping her fingers against her legs or some surface, bouncing her leg or foot, worrying her mouth, etc. It was like she constantly had to be moving in some way. She seemed to have somewhat of a thing with sudden sounds as well.

A rabbit.

That was a more accurate animal to compare her to, he thought. She had a very nervous, borderline skittish air to her. He wondered briefly if her heart was always racing as fast as rabbits too.

Even now she was, he just noticed, fiddling with that knife of hers, rotating the handle around in her hands. She was looking at it, almost as if she were contemplating something before she glanced his way sideways a bit.

"How'd you get this back anyways?"

"One of them assholes that took us off the train had it on him."

She mouthed a slight 'ahh' before setting the knife in her lap and laying her hands over it.

"It's a real nice piece."

She nodded slightly. "It was my grandfather's. A present for my 16th birthday."

"He a hunter?"

"He was. Not hardcore or anything, but more than a casual hobby."

"He teach you?"

There was just the start of a smile at the corner of mouth. "He tried."

Daryl nodded as if if he already understood. "Not yer thing?"

"Too much of a bleeding heart." she answered with a slight shrug. "Could never bring myself to be the one to kill Bambi's mom."

He made a noise at the back of his throat but didn't voice anything beyond that. Not that he really needed to, Tess got the feeling he was very much the type that didn't understand that kind of logic, especially if it was hunting for food.

In the momentary silence Tess realized she wasn't having as much of a hard time talking to him as she did those first few days knowing him. She also noticed she didn't feel nearly as uptight since Rick had taken his leave. She wondered why that would be and had to chalk it up to the simple fact that she knew him first before the others in this new group she had stumbled into, and therefore had more of a base comfort level already built in with him despite not having spent a whole lot of time actually talking. But, there was that as well. The fact that she didn't necessarily feel the need to  _have_  to talk to him. Sure, she didn't think she had observed him enough to be able to pin point different character traits of his, but she felt pretty confident in the fact that he wasn't exactly fond of a lot of talking himself.

It was at some point during that random train of thought that she realized she hadn't actually thanked him for returning her knife, or even for originally leaving it behind for her when he had left with that other group of men.

She glanced his way again, intent on doing just that but was stopped when she met his steely gaze again. Except this time it didn't seem nearly as harsh or intimidating as she had seen it before. It was still intense, to the point where she had to keep breaking eye contact before finding it again, but it seemed much more...thoughtful, this time. As if he were contemplating whether or not to say something. He seemed to give in after a few moments of silence more.

"Ya know," he started lowly, chewing the nail on his thumb as if he were fighting his own discomfort. "Those men I left with...it wouldn't have been good for you to be there."

Tess took advantage, then, of the fact that he was still more interested in chewing on his nail, almost compulsively, and had his head tucked down and just studied his profile. It seemed like such an obvious observation that didn't actually need to be spoken, and she wasn't sure what the point was.

"I do.." she replied just as lowly as he had. Then she had a thought, all at once, that perhaps this was him feeling guilty. Guilt for leaving her alone. Which only proved to confused her more. He had gone out of his way to lead a group of what he felt were dangerous men away from her and had even made a point to leave her some kind of protection. What could he possibly have any negative feelings about? "...Thank you." she told him with as much sincerity as she could portray.

He seemed to bypass it all together.

"The leader, Joe, he kept going on 'bout this guy they were trackin' down, somebody who had killed one of their guys. I tried ta leave that next night, when they were busy with their own shit, that's when I seen it was Rick, Michonne and Carl."

Tess simply nodded along to his tale, even though he wasn't looking at her, but stayed silent beyond that, now very much at a loss as to why he would be telling  _her_  all of this. Or why he would be telling her  _any_  of it, period.

"Talked about someone else they were lookin' for too. A woman and her kid they'd been followin' for a few days, was pretty sure she had taken out two of their own."

It was then, as Tess felt herself go cold and her heart rate pick up that Daryl finally looked up to look her straight on again. It was another one of those intense stares he seemed to be so good at. Strong emotions of some kind swirling around along with a stand out strain of understanding.

"Good fer you."

She had to tear her eyes away again at that, bringing them back to the small fire that once again appeared much more interesting than the conversation that had been unfolding. Her knees came up a little closer to her body and she tightened her arms across her chest, invisible walls starting to assemble around her.

" _Hey."_ it was a slight command, strong enough that it demanded she meet his stare again. "Nuh uh, you don't bad for  _that._ "

His voice hadn't raised any higher than the soft tones they had been speaking in, but the sentence easily carried a lot more force behind it.

He watched her, silently, again. She was looking out into the surrounding woods, in no particular direction. She seemed to be attempting to gather her thoughts, continuously biting her bottom lip and looking towards the endless night for an answer that would help explain what it was she wanted to say.

"Just seems like such an odd thing to be complimented on, ya know?" she finally went with. "Like, hey, congratulations, you're a hell of a killer -"

" _Fighter._ " he cut her off swiftly, nodding once firmly when her eyes had snapped back to his. "Hell of a  _fighter._ "

Tess tilted her head in contemplation.

Huh. Now that was a different way of looking at it.

They both turned back to look at the fire, an easy, comfortable silence enveloping them as they were each left to their own thoughts.

Fighter.  _Not_  a killer, but a fighter.

Tess let the words roll around her head. That would definitely be some food for thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to give a quick thank you to all who have taken the time to give this a read and left kudos, it tickles me :)  
> Also, I know, thus far, the styling of this has been much more narrative and not very dialogue heavy, so if there's anybody who has any feedback or ideas about possible scenarios or moments to try to work in, I'd be very interested to hear.


	12. Bed Rest and Campfire Ghosts

It seemed that Tess' body simply refused to abide by the age old adage that the best thing for a broken body was rest and plenty of it.

She had spent the majority of the night up and wide awake, Daryl by her side in the same spot, apparently not much in the mood for sleep either. They didn't really say a word to each other once they had ended their original conversation, except for a quick rundown of some things he and Rick had been discussing before she inadvertently interrupted them. The loose plan for the next day was to get back on the road and moving in the hopes of quickly finding a more durable place to stay as opposed to being out in the open in the woods, and, once they had that security they could sit down and start making an actual plan as to how they were going to start tracking down Beth and Luke. After that, it was pretty much radio silence, which was more than fine with her. Not only had she still been heavily mulling over his words about a fighter vs. a killer, but she had also fastly been learning since the funeral home that she felt oddly ok just sitting in his silence. She attributed it to the fact that he was seemingly like her, not much for idle chit chat, much more comfortable in just sitting back and watching from the sidelines. She didn't feel the need to fill the silence nearly as strongly as she normally would.

She remembered thinking, some time after he finally dragged himself off to wherever and before she finally crashed, if that could be considered her using him.

But, now, her mind had apparently decided it was time to put her in her place and give her a swift kick in the ass for not taking better care of herself.

She woke up abruptly, nearly choking on whatever it was that was currently making its way up and out her mouth and had intended to make a beeline to a more secluded area before she lost her cookies, only to lose it all the second she pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. It wasn't much, given there wasn't much in her stomach at that point that could have come up, but the bile was turning thick and foaming, which in turn was choking her slightly.

_Of course_  the presence of people behind and around her didn't bother her. It wasn't like she had just enough wherewithal left in the moment to feel any traces of embarrassment.  _Not at all._

Bob was by her side before she could finish, soothing voice telling her just to try and relax and coached her through getting some deep breaths in. And it helped. Until it didn't.

When she had finally got settled again, he had given her some water to drink. She actually took the offer gladly this time, badly wanting to get the acidy taste out of her mouth. But, the second she tried to swallow it too came back up on her, causing a whole new gagging fit with it. It took another few moments to calm down, during which time Maggie had made her way over, much like the night before. She had crouched down on Tess' other side, holding her hair back slightly and running a hand between her shoulders. Even in her preoccupied state, Tess couldn't help but think how it reminded her so much of the way Beth had tended to her those few days.

"She alright?"

She couldn't help the slight groan that escaped her at Rick's voice.

Bob looked up to him with a bit of a sigh. "It's what I told you I was worried about. Post concussion issues. Everything's been so go-go-go and now that it's not, her body is finally catching up."

When Tess finally felt like she had her gag reflex under control again, she slowly pushed herself into a sitting position just as Rick had crouched down in front of her, face all business like he was studying her.

What she wouldn't have given for a toothbrush with everyone in her face like that.

"Maybe we should hold off on leavin'? Take one more day to rest up before hittin' the road." Maggie finally suggested.

"It would definitely help." Bob agreed.

Tess wasn't having it though.

"No," she started, shaking her head sharply and regretting it instantly when it reawoke the nausea. "No no no. I'm fine."

The shared dubious looks from the three were not lost on her. Rick's, though, soften some when he seen the shift in her eyes.

"Hey," he started softly while reaching to place a hand on her shoulder, not missing the barely there flinch she gave at the contact. "I know you're worried about your boy and you just wanna get to him as soon as possible, but you gotta be smart about this. You can't just go running off into the unknown if you're barely staying together yourself."

"Bu...but..." she started sputtering, the exasperation setting in. "What's the difference if I feel like shit here or out there, other than we could actually be doing  _something_  out there?"

It was Bob who answered her.

"The difference is you won't be able to do anything for Luke if you hurt yourself or more by pushing yourself when your body is clearly screaming at you the gas tank is empty."

"He's right, Luke is gonna need you strong once we get to him and Beth. It's like airplanes, right? You gotta put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help others." Maggie added.

Tess let out a harsh breath. She knew of course, that realistically they were right, but that bit of knowledge was doing nothing for her right now. Plus she could feel just how badly she was losing this battle. It made her want to throw up. Again.

"Alright, well that settles it. We stay here one more day, give - " he stopped when he seen the growing distaste on Tess' face. "Give  _everyone_  a chance to rest up, then we'll head out at daybreak tomorrow. Until then, 'fraid you're on mandatory bed rest."

He said it with such finality too. She couldn't stop the small flurry of nasty words floating in her head that she wanted to launch at him.

Rick gave her one quick pat of reassurance before standing back to his full height. "I'm gonna go let everyone know the plan." he pointed a finger directly at her.  _"Rest."_

She would feel bad for it later, but in the moment she didn't feel an ounce of anything when her eyes narrowed slightly at him. If she could see her reflection she would have known that it was far from impactful. Which would explain the slight twitch of his lips. He went to take his leave before stopping suddenly and turning around to face her again, this time with a somewhat amused look.

"And if you decide to sneak off on your own, you be sure to let me know how that turned out for you when one of us brings you back."

This time her eyes widened.

_Fucking guard duty? Seriously?!_

She watched him walk away before looking to Maggie, who gave her a sympathetic smile but couldn't mask her own amusement that was making her eyes shine. Tess let her look wither at the younger woman before turning it to Bob.

"What the hell happened to doctor patient privileges?" she asked grumpily, only to get a big smile in return.

"Sorry, went out the window with privacy curtains."

It was going to be a bad day. And a long one at that.

-x-

And it was.

Word seemed to spread almost instantly that not only would they be spending the extra day here, but that she was apparently to be considered a flight risk. Sure to his earlier advice, nay,  _threat_ , she didn't miss the way there always seemed to be at least one person from the group within her proximity. She both loath and, a smaller part of her, appreciated it. It was one of the side effects of her anxiety that she hated the most, over the years as it progressed, more and more she would find herself in a state of complete contradiction. She was grateful, maybe even honored in a way - which only brought up a new wave of conflicting thoughts - that they would be so concerned over her well being. The other half of her was just so pissed off that she was being delayed in her search for Luke and, for all intent and purposes, was being held captive.

It didn't sit well with her, any of it. The good part of her feeling helpless and like yet another burden these people didn't need. The bad part of her just feeling resentment. It was all making her irritability flare something awful.

She tried sticking to herself. She went straight for walking around camp, knowing she was too worked up to be able to sit still some place. It only helped enough to not outright snap at someone, until about an hour in when she could no longer put up with the newest person to trail her on each lap around. She finally gave that up and settled for planting herself against a large fallen tree trunk, moodily staring daggers into the dirt. She could feel her temper spiking more with each passing minute. When she would feel or flat out catch someone watching her. When she watched Rick and a small group taking off to scavenge the area for supplies. It was beyond frustrating and the forced downtime with no distractions was allowing her mind to run rampant. What she wouldn't give to have Luke's walkman and that Areosmith tape that she had grown a soft spot for back. Anything to quiet things down.

She had been in the middle of over aggressively ripping leaves and snapping twigs when she noticed the pair of boots enter her vision. She looked up slightly to see Daryl staring at her, all business as usual. He seemed to be looking for something for a moment before cocking his head to side.

"Well c'mon."

She just stared at him dumbly, prompting him to elaborate.

"You up for a walk?"

"Thought I was on house arrest?"

"You are. That's what I'm for."

She felt her lips thin out into a frown as she lifted an eyebrow.

"So, you're takin' me for a walk...like a dog?"

He gave a barely there shrug. "You want out or not?"

Yes. Yes she did.

So, with only a slight huff of irritation at having to have a chaperone, she pushed herself off the ground, catching Daryl's pointed look when she sucked in a breath and grabbed her side. His look obviously saying, 'this is why you're being benched'. She huffed again.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." she grumbled with a roll of her eyes.

-x-

Orange.

Mixed with yellow.

Just a hint of of red.

It was all swirling together in a perfectly synchronized dance, and it was completely hypnotizing. She wasn't even sure what it was, just that in this moment she wanted nothing more than to just stay there. In the hypnotic warmth.

Soft, nearly inaudible murmurs started to filter in. She thought, perhaps, she was suppose to identify them, search them out and find them, but the pull of the warmth was too strong to deny.

The murmurs became whispers, and soon after became soft spoken words that she couldn't distinguish, she only knew that it was causing her to lose her connection to the warmth, which was starting to make something tickle inside her.

_"Tess?"_

The tunnel vision she had been in suddenly started to widen back up as her senses started to perk up again. The cocoon of warmth she had been locked away in was simply the small camp fire she had been staring at for, who knew how long. So if the comforting warmth had only been the fire, that meant that the soft whispers and murmurs had come from...

"Tess?"

She slowly looked up to see Maggie was looking at her with a slightly concerned, yet slightly amused look on her face. Glenn had a similar look and she could tell just from the small glance of Daryl she could see out of her peripheral vision, he had that same analytical look of curiosity that he, she had come to notice, usual gave her. But it was Maggie who had been addressing her.

"Hmmm?"

The amusement came through just a little bit more at her clueless expression. "You alright?"

A moment's pause. "Mmmhmmm."

"Where on  _earth_  did you just go?"

The clueless look she had apparently been wearing before turned to actual confusion. "Whaddya mean?" she asked them, genuinely.

"You looked like you were a millions miles away, we've been trying to get your attention for a few minutes now." Glenn explained.

_Oh._

She seen they were all staring at her expectantly now and that she probably wouldn't have much luck wriggling out of giving some sort of answer.

"Ummm, nothin', really." she started with a lousy attempt at nonchalance. "Just, ummm...thinkin' about someone I use to know."

Maggie studied her face for a moment before just a slight smile started to form. "Boyfriend?"

She didn't know all three of them caught the way she instantly went to say yes before quickly shaking her head.

"No...no no no." her eyebrows rose slightly with each denial before the frown started to settle back in. "He was just a really good friend."

It was impossible to miss the change in atmosphere and the sorrow that suddenly filled the air.

"I'm sorry." Maggie said softly with a look of compassion. "Was it before, or after?"

"Before. Long before."

There was another few moments of silence before Tess suddenly stood, mumbled a goodnight to them before disappearing from their sight.

She walked for a few minutes until she got to the other end of their makeshift camp that was currently unoccupied by any of the others and chose the tree with the biggest trunk base to nestle against.

_Where the hell had that come from?_

She didn't remember zoning out at all. The last thing she remembered was sitting with them, cooking up some of the squirrel meat that Daryl and her had managed to find earlier in the day and practically being force fed by Maggie with Glenn and Daryl serving as backup reinforcement. She figured it had to just be the wheel of her mind turning again. Missing Luke so badly and having that bone deep fear for his safety wearing her down, feeling so useless in her physical state. Daryl taking her to look for food with him had silenced it down for a while, being in that silence of his and watching as he skillfully trekked through the terrain with a graceful ease she sure as hell couldn't comprehend. She did her best to just follow in his foot steps as quietly as she could, the task of focusing on that helping her nerves and anxiety.

Of all the pointless, random thoughts she could have gotten lost in, why was she suddenly taking a stroll down the memory lane of her love life? For Christ's sake, she didn't even  _have_  a love life to be reminiscing over.

Clearly not being able to count the peck of a kiss she shared with Brett Bailey in fourth grade, her first real experience didn't occur until she was 25. She had felt something brewing within her for the near year it had been since her grandfather had died, a precursor of a warning of what was to come several years later. She had been getting hit with bouts of melancholy for a few weeks when she woke up one morning and decided, with absolute certainty, that she was tired of being a virgin.

It hadn't been something she'd done purposely. There were no religious reasonings or anything special attached to it, she had just never met anyone who could have been an option. But she was definitely sick of it. Sick of how much stock everyone always seemed to put into it. Sick of all the nerves and anticipation she herself had put into it, dreaming of one day meeting that special someone that she felt safe enough with to share herself fully with. She was sick of thinking about it at all. She just wanted it done and over with. She just wanted it gone.

And so she spent the day of her 25th birthday preparing. She went and bought herself a new dress. A cream colored spaghetti strap sundress with a slightly ruffled high-lo hemline that hit her just above the knee with an all over pattern of small yellow wildflowers and an attached thin brown belt, along with a pair of brown strappy sandals to match. She then went to a small beauty boutique. She was pretty clueless when it came to applying make-up, she knew maybe the basics of the basics. She knew they offered 'free' makeovers, as long as you were willing to buy something. They kept it mostly natural, smoking out her eyes just a little for that special touch. She finished by going to get her hair trimmed and styled, simple loose beach waves resting just below her shoulders, just enough to tame the frizzy bits of her more naturally curly hair.

By the time she got home and dressed she actually felt... _pretty._

It almost changed her mind. One of only a handful of times in her life where she was comfortable or happy with herself and appearance, it was causing her to get cold feet as she started fantasizing again. About the special someone who should be getting this version of herself.

But then the more she fantasized about a life that wasn't, the more antsy she started to get and any traces of cold feet she had previously vanished. So, after a quick and silent dinner with her mother that resulted in nothing more than her wanting to know who she had gotten all dolled up for, she helped her mother into bed and made sure she was settled for the night before making a mad dash out the front door at 8:00pm on the nose.

She drove for a while, stopping at a few places but never getting out of her car before driving off to the next place. Eventually she decided she didn't want it this close to her, so she drove until she reached a small dive bar on the outskirts of town in the next county over.

It was roughly 9:30pm when she finally walked in, and almost immediately walked back out. Given it was a Saturday night the place was packed, but they had also had some kind of karaoke event going on so people really seemed to be riled up and liquored up. But she forced her way through the crowd and found one small empty area at the end of the bar where she planted herself. She spent the next hour getting herself pickled. Which wasn't easy. She hated the taste of alcohol. Always had. From the time she was 21 she had tried just about everything she could get her hands on, both liquors, wines and beers, but regardless of what it was or how fruity or light handed it was, it was always the first thing she tasted. That bitter, battery acid taste that always left her gagging. But she knew she would never go through with this all the way unless her senses were severely dulled down. So, the bartender had made a sort of sample platter of the most commonly requested drinks for her to experiment with.

Once she felt sure she was at just the right point of tipsy but still coherent, she turned in her seat and instantly looked to throw herself at the first guy who showed her any interest.

His name ended up being Thomas. He had been there with a group of buddies, celebrating a bachelor party, or something like that. He was 28, tall, muscular, short and spiky light brown hair and quite possibly the most gorgeous set of green eyes she had ever seen. He was way out of her league, by miles. She knew it. He knew it. But he was all but wasted and she wasn't trying to hide the fact that she was easy pickings. It was mutually beneficial.

When he first led her outside he had brought them over to a secluded area around the side of the building, so they could talk more easily, he had told her. They were leaning against the wall and he kept getting closer and closer and speaking soft compliments to her and, despite the fact this was suppose to have no feeling behind it, she couldn't help the butterflies that had started to flutter to life in her stomach. By the time he had her pressed flat against the wall, hands roaming and mouth on every inch of her neck, she could feel the way her body was responding to experiencing all these new sensations for the first time and she was even excited as he clumsily started dragging them over to his pick up.

Things changed pretty quickly after that.

As soon as he had slammed the back door shut he was on her,  _all over her._  The soft lips that had been doing wonderful things to her neck before were now rough and trying to reach all sorts of new places. The soft hands that had caressed her outside were now aggressive and needy, pulling and tugging and digging into any place they could reach. She had been too distracted and uncomfortable when the previously sweet compliments turned to vulgar talk of all the different things he could imagine doing to her and wanted to do to her - since she had purposely let it slip earlier in the night that she was a virgin - to ever even realize he had her underwear removed and his buckle and jeans undone until she felt that first sharp sting. She kept her eyes glued the the interior ceiling light in the truck's cab.

The whole thing lasted four, maybe five minutes tops.

There was no small talk afterwards. No phone numbers exchanged. Not even a  _'see ya later'_. There was just barely a bye.

It  _had_  been what she wanted. Until he had,  **no** _,_  until  _ **she**_  had  _ **let him**_  trick her into feeling special. After feeling that, the sharp contrast to the act itself had left her feeling dirty and shameful.

It would be the last physical contact she would have until  _him_. Until Matthew.

It was at the start of her big mental decline. Another birthday, this time her 30th, where the thoughts were too loud and too plentiful and needed to be ignored. It was the one birthday she had always been afraid of. For as long as she could remember, her mother had always gone on and on about how devastating turning 30 had been for her, a midlife crisis of sorts. Tess had been dreading it for years, convinced she was going to experience the same thing. And she did. She couldn't tell if it was the birthday and age itself, or if she had just been feeding into it so much her whole life that it was just manifesting itself. Either way, she had to get a hold on it. So, after the traditional birthday dinner with her mother that resulted in next to no words being exchanged, per usual, she drove herself to a bar, in her home county this time. A tavern that she remembered her grandfather use to enjoy. It was a smaller place, quiet and homey, in a sense.

She went with whiskey and coke, figuring with the whiskey she wouldn't have to drink nearly as much as something else to get the same desired effect, plus the coke could help her stomach the taste. Not that it helped much. She had been nursing her second glass when he showed up, taking a seat several stools down. He chose vodka straight and had kept to himself for a while, before finally telling her she looked like she could use a laugh. She had, somewhat bitchily, challenged him to try, and he did. He fed her some joke/pick up line about fat penguins and breaking the ice, and she had laughed. She laughed more at that one line and at him than she had in far longer than she could remember.

He joined her for real after, taking up the seat next to her. They talked for hours, about everything and anything. She had never felt so comfortable as to speak so freely and openly with someone else before. They had plenty in common. More than anything, they both were struggling with their inner demons, his much more self destructive than her own. When the bartender finally kicked them out at closing time she felt like she had known him forever, like he had always been a part of her. Like he was always suppose to be a part of her.

This time there was small talk and numbers exchanged, as he insisted on walking her to her car. A meaningful ' _see ya later_ ' and plans to meet up for lunch.

He helped to keep her going when her depression and anxiety hit the all time high, helped fill the void of safety that her grandfather's death had left her with. She pulled him back from the edge on the nights he really went dark and just wanted to numb everything with the strongest thing he could find. He had become the best friend she'd ever had, always wanted but never found. And when Julie came into his life and cemented her spot at his side, she honestly felt like she was going to be gaining a sister on top of it all.

And then, like all goods things, it came to an end.

He showed up at her door late one night, near midnight, a week before his and Julie's wedding day. She knew the second she opened the door and seen the look on his face that things were never going to be the same.

She listened, as quietly and as patiently as she could, to him explain things while they sat on the small couch together.

They were moving. Julie's father had come down with a serious illness, cancer of some kind, and it was just too much for her mother to handle alone. With no other siblings who could offer help, they were going to be moving back to her home state of Oklahoma right after the wedding so that they could help out.

She was almost able to hold it together. Act like an adult, be mature about the whole thing. But the remorseful look he wore was crushing and it shattered her.

She cried. Cried even harder when he begged her not too, pleaded that he couldn't handle it knowing he was the cause. Cried harder still when he had wrapped her up in his arms and held her securely, a comfort she wished she could have appreciated more in the moment. She finally started settling down to small whimpers when he began murmuring things against her hairline, adding a small kiss to her forehead after each one.

_"You know I love ya ta death, right?"_

That had been the last thing he had said to her, along with the accompany kiss to her forehead. But then, after a pause, there was one more kiss to her temple. Then one to her cheek. Her nose. The corner of her mouth. Then, with her head cradled in his warm hands like she was the most fragile and precious thing in the world, he pressed the most gentle of kisses to her lips.

It was safe and warm and quiet, everything she was always searching for, and nothing or no one from the outside world could touch them. Their little bubble of protection was completely impenetrable.

It was the reason why, despite everything, their friendship, his upcoming wedding, Julie and the guilt and regret she knew would shadow her later on, she didn't stop him from kissing her again. Just as softly but with something stronger mixed in. She also didn't stop him when he gently laid her down and held her impossibly close as he seemed to be trying to tell her a hundred different things with his kisses alone. Didn't  _dare_  stop him as he gently pushed her nightgown up.

It was so vastly different than that first time. A literal night and day difference.  _This,_  she wished she could capture in a bottle and keep forever. The love and affection radiating off of him, just for her, was so overwhelming it caused a few more tears to slip down that he kissed away. His face nuzzling into her neck was her final undoing, and her fingers dug into the wrist of the hand that was still cradling her face, feeling his rapid pulse under her fingertips.

The moment wasn't loud, like the movies would lead her to believe. It had felt like a tension in her lower belly that had suddenly been released and allowed a wave of relaxation to wash over her entire body, coming down off of her slight high after a few moments with a small sigh.

She had kept her eyes closed the entire, afraid to open them and find it wasn't real.

She would regret that too.

She didn't remember falling asleep. Only waking up to him gone. And feeling so very cold and empty.

She didn't go to the wedding. She sent the china set she had gotten them as a wedding gift with a note, apologizing for having to miss the big day. She gave some excuse about her mom having a flair up with her MS and just couldn't make it.

There was never any reply, or thank you note for the gift. There was never any kind of correspondence with him at all after that night.

She wondered, just once on a lonely night, if they really were moving back to Oklahoma to help out with her dad, or if Julie had just figured out what they had apparently been blind to, at least she had, and had given Matthew some sort of ultimatum.

"Hey."

Tess glanced up to see Maggie, small smile on her face but still the slight sympathy.

"Mind if I join you?"

"No."

She sat down next to her before pulling her knees to her chest, matching Tess' position.

"I'm sorry." she started with a small sigh. "I didn't mean to drudge up bad memories or anything."

No no, it's fine, really." she assured her. "It was," she took a minute to decide how she wanted to explain. "It was just  _weird,_  to think about  _that_. I don't even know what brought it up."

"Sooo," Maggie hesitated, not wanting to over step, but Tess inclined her head, giving the go ahead to continue. "He wasn't your boyfriend, but...you loved him, right?"

She had to think about it. "I  _did_  love him." she started slowly. "But...I'm almost positive,  **no** , I  _know_  I wasn't in love with him. He was, he was just the one who was there, always, when I needed him. A safe place, ya know?" she finished off quietly.

She watched as Maggie turned her head back towards the other end of camp, where Glenn would still sitting by the fire, even though she couldn't see him from here. She looked back to Tess with another smile.

"Yeah, I do."

Tess smiled back. Even in the short time span spent with them, the love between Maggie and Glenn was clear as day and impossible to ignore. She would still secretly watch them from time to time when she could, enjoying the peaceful feeling their showcase of love, even with all the madness around them, brought to her. It suddenly had her wanting to share more with Maggie, for some reason.

"You know, I actually think that's one of my biggest regrets."

"What is?"

"...Never fallin' in love. I feel like," she let out a sigh of her own. "I feel like that might've broken my heart more than if I actually had my heart broken for real."

She savored the way Maggie put her arm around her shoulders, bringing her into a slight hug and staying that way for a long while afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter that I can promise will have an weekly update. Everything from here on out I will try my best to keep either weekly or as close to it as I can, so hopefully there won't be massive spaces of time between updates. But don't quote me on that. That damn life stuff, am I right?


	13. Holy House Part. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. Bad head space week. BTW, all dialogue, for both this chapter and everything before and after it comes from: https://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org

She couldn't remember a time when she felt this relaxed. Not since the world went to hell anyways. The light melody of the calm flowing water of the river bank was soothing in a way she couldn't put words to. Everything just felt so.....peaceful.

She looked up, suddenly, with a slight frown.

No, that couldn't be right. _This_ couldn't be right.

She had been here before. She couldn't remember when or why, but she was certain she had, and the sense of deja vu had a cold chill running down her spine, telling her she needed to go, and needed to go now. She needed to get Luke and get the hell away from this place.

_Luke_.

She jumped up and started looking frantically in every direction. She couldn't find him. He was just with her, she knew he was, but now it was as if he had vanished. 

Footsteps. 

She could hear footsteps behind her right as she heard rustling leaves straight ahead of her. She squinted through the trees and was just able to catch sight of his mess of brown curls. She immediately took off after him, needing to get to him before the mystery footsteps behind her caught up.

She ran as fast as she could but couldn't make sense of the fact that she never seemed to get any closer to him. The thought occurred to her, briefly, that that couldn't be possible. Luke could be like a little rocket when he wanted to, but he was still too young, too small to be able to outrun her. And yet, she just couldn't get any closer. But, then the tree line broke and she was in the middle of an undistinguished road. The confusion set in heavily again, but before she could process how she so suddenly found herself on that road, a car went whizzing by her.

Black car. White cross.

_Luke_.

She took off running once more.

Just like when she was chasing Luke through the woods, it seemed despite her best efforts the car was staying just out of reach. But that was ok, she assured herself. Because, for now, as long as she kept sight of it things would be ok. She just had to keep sight of it.

She came barreling around the bend in the road that the car had taken and stopped dead in her tracks. She was at a crossroads by some railroad tracks. That was all though. No Luke. No car. No nothing except the decision to go left or right.

"Can't you ever do anything without screwin' it up?"

She looked to her left to find her mother staring straight through her with that same piercing stare she was so familiar with. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

_Dreaming. I'm dreaming. Just wake up._

"Tessie Elaine Foster, you look at me when I'm talkin' to you!"

"Oh, don't mind her ma'am. She just tends to get a little shy." 

Her head snapped up to the right to find those two monsters, Mitch and Cliff leering at her, the same promises of wicked things in their eyes that she remembered so vividly.

"No problem though, me an' my buddy here can show her a good time, have some _real fun_. She'll be right as rain after that."

_Dammit, Tess, wake up._

She shook her head again as she rubbed furiously at her eyes, mumbling to herself the entire time.

"You're not real. None of you are real, you're dead."

She never even heard anyone approach when she felt the cold grip on her shoulder.

"Oh really?" it was her mother's face sneering at her, nearly nose to nose. "And just why would that be, hmm?"

Before she could even get her mouth working she felt more hands, one set holding her hands in a vice grip behind her back and Mitch's large hand locked onto her other shoulder. He leaned in close to whisper in her ear.

"Someone's been a bad girl, hasn't she?"

And then all three of them had morphed into the reanimated versions of themselves. Tearing. Clawing. Biting.

**WAKE UP!**

Tess came to with a massive start and just barely registered Daryl grabbing hold, lightly as he could while still gaining control, of her wayward fists that she had apparently come up swinging with.

"Hey hey hey, just me." he repeated several times, softer than she would have imagined him capable of.

Amazing how that thought came through so clearly even before the fog of her dream had worn off completely.

She could feel how sweat covered her face was and the pounding of her heart in her ears as she panted out a few breaths. She could feel him staring at her but was feeling too embarrassed, and shook up, to meet his stare and closed her eyes again as she worked on evening out her breathing again, instead choosing to focus on his light grip on her wrists, finding that doing so seemed to be grounding her faster than anything else.

"You good?" he asked, somewhat hesitantly after a moment of her continued silence.

She took one last deep breath before blowing it out slowly and finally opened her eyes to meet his blue ones.

"Ye...yeah. Good." she felt foolish, now that she was fully awake and aware of her surroundings, which triggered her nervous habit of having to fill the silence. "Gotta love them dreams, right?" she threw out with a wry look.

He just gave a faint nod before letting go of her wrists. She sat up and flexed them out of habit before using her hands to wipe the sweat from her face, wincing slightly when she put a little too much pressure over her healing nose. She then winced again as she brought them down to rest in her lap before looking to where he was still crouched in front of her with a tentative look.

"I didn't hit you, did I?"

"Nah." he watched silently as the relief washed over her face. "Sun's just about up. Rick wants everyone up and ready to get movin'."

"Yeah? Great, I'm ready." there was no missing the tonal change in not only her voice, but her entire demeanor at the prospect of getting back on the road at last as she hastily made to stand, only to be stopped by Daryl's hand once again coming to rest on her wrist, remembering all to well how much being grabbed on her upper arms affected her.

"Hey, just take it easy for a minute. We still got some time before we move out."

He reached into his back pocket to hand her the water bottle he had with him. She tried to wave it off but he just held it in front of her, patiently, until she finally grabbed it from him. She unscrewed the top while giving him a somewhat petulant look.

"What? Am I'm still on prison watch or somethin'?"

"No. Just don't feel like draggin' yer ass around when you pass out from bein' too stubborn."

She looked at him, almost impressed despite herself. There was a small part that wanted to be irritated, but it was quickly overshadowed by the unexpected amusement. She tilted her head to herself a little as she took a drink.

"Fair enough."

-x-

True to his word, Rick had everyone rounded up and ready to go by the time the sun had risen completely and they were on the road, though not before he sent Bob her way for a quick once over. Luckily, he gave her the all clear. Which was a relief because despite his insistence the day before that they would get moving today no matter what, she wasn't so convinced that Rick wouldn't bench her again if Bob hadn't given the thumb's up. Not only would it have set her off to spend yet another day not looking for Luke, and Beth for that matter, but she could just imagine how irritated the rest of them would start getting with her for holding them up. She didn't need a group of vexing looks thrown her way all day. No thanks.

Abraham especially was antsy to get on the road. He had his all important mission to attend to and all. She hadn't had too much interaction with him personally, but she knew enough that she didn't want to be the reason his plans were delayed any longer.

Between him and Rick, they made the decision to take the first road they could find and try to get back going north, and hopefully find a running car or two.

Tess stayed towards the back of the group, arms crossed over her chest. She had finally come to grips with the fact that, for better or worse, she was indeed a full fledged member of this rag tag group of people now. But, though she had accepted the fact, it didn't change the factor that she didn't know where she fit in just yet. Her instinct, again, was to stick close to Daryl, still going with the theory that she knew him best. But she didn't want to be clinging to the guy's side constantly. Or make him feel like he had to babysit her.

Either Bob or Maggie would be the next best options, but one look at each of them with their respected partners had her throwing that thought away. They finally had each other without an immediate threat around, and she didn't want to intrude on that. And most everyone else were immersed in their own conversations. So, she stuck to the back and found herself alongside Tara, who seemed to very much be feeling a similar sense of displacement. 

"It's like being the new kid in class." Tara threw out, finally breaking the silence between them.

Tess glanced over her way with a look of thankful agreeance that she wasn't the only awkward one trying to blend in.

"Tell me about it."

Any other small talk that might have bloomed between the two was cut short by a sudden yell. A man calling, screaming for help. It was desperate and it was urgent, becoming more and more frantic as the seconds ticked by. But they were all frozen in their spots. The world wasn't that simple anymore that you could just run off to assist a cry for help. It could be anything. It could be _anyone_. It could easily be a trap. The moral struggle was clear amongst all of them, but it was Carl who broke it.

"Dad, c'mon." he called, before rushing off into the woods towards the cries. "C'mon!"

He didn't wait for any responses, didn't hesitate as Rick called out for him to stop and they were all forced to chase after him. 

They could hear the snarling of the dead before they reached the source of distress. A black man, maybe in his 40s and wearing what looked to Tess like a preacher's uniform, was stuck onto a giant boulder, surrounded by four walkers who were eagerly trying to get to their source of food.

"Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!" 

Then, without a thought, Carl fired off four shots, expertly taking down each walker before they were even able to fully turn around. Not that any of the rest of them were particularly concerned with that at the moment. They were all tense, much more worried with what the sudden gun shots could bring their way. Not that Tess wasn't incredibly impressed with the kid's bravery to go running into the unknown like he had and his overall gumption, but she was also equally aggravated by what she would consider carelessness. Rick was also clearly exasperated by his son's actions, putting a hand on Carl's still raised arms to get him to lower the gun before quickly scanning the area with the rest of them.

After a few moments he came to the decision that they were clear, but told them all to keep watch anyway. He pushed Carl behind him slightly before taking a small step towards the frightened man, who still seemed to be in a state of shock over his near death.

"Come on down."

The man took a second to collect himself before he slid, ungracefully, off his perch on top of the boulder. They watched him closely as he worked to get his footing, stumbling slightly before finally getting steady and standing straight.

"You okay?" Rick asked, still pinning the stranger with a weary look.

The man looked at him with a shaky smile. "Yes." he started, before immediately bending over and throwing up. Tess turned her head and gagged slightly - her own stomach still feeling weak and never being the type of person who could listen to other people throwing up without getting sick herself - as the rest wore looks of either disgust or pity. When he was done he stood again and wiped his mouth. "Sorry. Yes. Thank you." he stuttered out, still very much shaken. "I'm Gabriel." he introduced.

Rick had other thoughts than exchanging pleasantries though.

"Do you have any weapons on you?"

The man just chuckled as if he had heard a funny joke, causing them all to frown.

"Do I look like I would have any weapons?"

Tess couldn't help the way her brow ticked up some. It was definitely a valid response, if they were going off looks alone.

"We don't give two short and curlies what it looks like." Abraham injected, inserting his dominance in that special brand that only he could pull off.

The jovial smile that Gabriel had been wearing disappeared as he looked at the two men questioning him more seriously.

"I have no weapons of any kind. The word of God is the only protection I need."

Tara and Tess shared a look of disbelief.

_'God, not one of those.'_

 "Sure didn't look like it." Daryl quipped.

"I called for help. Help came."

Tess wouldn't deny the fact that the combined looks from the group aimed towards the man would almost be comical, if it wasn't for how utterly ridiculous he sounded.

"Do you have... have any food?" he ventured to ask. "Whatever I... I had left, it just hit the ground."

"We've got some pecans." Carl offered, once again to the displeasure of his father.

"Thank you." Gabriel took the small offering gratefully.

Judith's sudden cooing caught his attention, and he seemed to marvel at the sight of the infant.

"That's a beautiful child. Do you have a camp?"

"No, do you?" Rick shot back.

"I have a church."

Now that definitely caught everyone's attention.

There was a beat of silence before Tess caught the minor hardening of Rick's features.

"Hold your hands above you head." he ordered.

Clearly confused and nervous, Gabriel did as asked.

"How many walkers have you killed?"

The question instantly had Tess flashing back to the day she woke to Daryl and Beth standing over her, wanting answers to the same question. It seemed it was an initiation thing they had developed. A vetting system.

"Not any, actually."

_'No shit.'_

 "Turn around." Rick made quick work of patting him down, checking for any hidden weapons as he continued his questioning. "How many people have you killed?"

"None."

"Why?"

"Because the Lord abhors violence."

Rick gave him an appraising look before diving in once again. "What _have_ you done? We've all done something."

Gabriel cast his eyes downward momentarily, then glanced around briefly at all of them before returning to meet Rick's stare.

"I'm a sinner. I sin almost every day. But those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers."

Damn. There was that 50/50 split Tess constantly found her state of mind in. Short of the confessing to God part, there was no denying that description fit them all to a T. She knew, and judging by the looks on everyone else's face, they knew it too. However, hearing it come from his mouth had a much more ominous feeling to it.

Rick definitely sensed it. He was giving him that same calculating look he had given her a few nights before, before he started his questioning on her. It was the cop in him shinning through. Whatever it was he was thinking, he kept to himself and came to another conclusion.

"You said you had a church?"

-x-

It wasn't a far trek to the church. Gabriel led the way, again chatting about easily as if they were all old friends. He answered Rick's questioning about if he had been watching them, to which he denied. He claimed he usually didn't go much farther past the stream near his church and that today was the furthest he'd ever gone.

Then he continued talking.

About how it was possible he was lying. That, perhaps, he was just leading them into a trap to steal their squirrels. 

He only made it a few steps before realizing everyone else had stopped in their tracks, grips tightening on whatever weapon they had on them.

He gave them all a sheepish look. "Members of my flock had often told me that my sense of humor leaves much to be desired."

It had been maybe 15 minutes since they met they guy and he already had Tess' nerves frazzled. She just couldn't figure out what to make of him, other than the fact that he wasn't lying when he explained how he didn't have much of any experience with either walkers or the living. 

He made no fuss though when Rick demanded they be able to take a look around the place first. He gave a nod to everyone to check things out. Tess and Tara stuck together as they checked around the surrounding woods but came up with nothing to report. By the time they got back they learned that there was a short bus belonging to the church that Gabriel said they could have if they wanted, though it didn't run. Abraham, however, was convinced he could having it running within a day or two.

Shelter. Possible transportation. No immediate danger.

All good things.

Which was exactly the problem.

They all knew, from far too much personal experience, what those things usually meant. When things got good, they got bad.

It was the shared consensus amongst the group. Nobody wanted to stay here longer than need be. Well, mostly everyone. Abraham was still vehemently insisting they get moving on to D.C asap, while Michonne reasoned they needed to rest and, more importantly, look for supplies to gather. Abraham made to object but Glenn cut him off, letting him know with finality that no matter what happened, they were following Rick's lead, and they were most definitely not splitting up.

Tara gave a nod of her own. "What he said."

Tess gave a shrug when she found herself under Abraham's strong stare, an attempt to get her on his side.

"What she said."

After explaining how he had survived there on his own for so long, Gabriel informed them that there was one last local food bank that had a worthy food supply, but the place was crawling with walkers. Too many for one person to take care of, least of all someone who coward just from simply looking at one. 

It was decided on the spot they could handle it, no problem. Rick started giving out instructions to everyone. He, Sasha, Michonne and Bob would head to the food bank to collect the food, and Gabriel would be accompanying them after some _gentle_ forcing from Rick. He didn't trust the guy, to which Tess didn't blame him one bit, and he wanted him where he could keep eyes on him. Daryl and Carol were sent off to collect water. Glenn, Maggie, Tara and Tess were given the task of checking out a nearby gun store to see if they could scavenge anything while Tyreese would stay back at the church to watch over baby Judith and, after a long talk, Carl would also stay behind to help look after his sister and to keep watch should Gabriel have any friends that could make a surprise visit. All of them somewhat suspicious to different degrees that he was the only living person occupying the church, despite him mentioning his flock beforehand. That left Abraham, Eugene and Rosita to work on the bus.

When they got to the gun supply store, the three woman were convinced, before they even went in, that it was a waste of time. Guns and ammunition were the first thing, after food, that people were searching for these days, surely a store that wasn't boarded up at all could have anything left to take. But Glenn was the positive voice of the group, claiming you just had to know where to look for things.

They split up, Glenn and Tess taking the front of the store while Maggie and Tara would go along the back. Tess made sure she had her bowie knife strapped to her leg tightly before pulling out the gun she still had from Abraham, checking it quickly and taking the safety off before following Glenn into the store, silently taking the left side of the store when he motioned her to.

She kept an ear out for any sound while scanning the shelves, coming up with nothing. She was just about to turn the corner of the isle to meet Glenn in the middle of the store when there was a sudden, very loud crash that had her jumping out of her skin at the same time she jumped around the corner, gun raised and ready to fire.

Only to find Glenn in a heap of boxes and a broom on the floor. She instantly dropped her gun and instead raised a hand to her heart. 

He looked up, slightly embarrassed. "Opps."

She looked back with wide eyes. "Opps?  _Jesus Christ_ , man! I almost shot you!"

He considered her words for a moment. "Yeah, that would have sucked. But, look what I found."

And with that he held up his hands, three silencers in them. 

Well, how 'bout that.

She helped him up and they made their way out the back door, met by Maggie and Tara with their own guns raised until they saw it was their own people. They asked about the noise and what happened, if they had run into a walker or something. Glenn tried to play it off until Tess gave him a pointed look, making him admit with reluctance that he might have, possibly, tripped over a stack of boxes. And a broom. But, he ignored their giggles to proudly show off his find.

"See, I told you. Rule number one of scavenging: There's nothing left in this world that isn't hidden."

Maggie giggled again, looking over Tess and her still clearly spooked demeanor.

"Are _you_ alright?"

Tess just shook her head before starting to walk off.

"God, I miss my xanax." she declared.

-x-

As another unexpected turn of luck, Tess and her group returned to the church not only unharmed, but to find that Daryl and Carol had gathered several large jugs of water and Rick and his group had hit the mother load of canned foods. Several carts worth. And, to top it off, Abraham and the others were, in fact, successful in resurrecting the bus. It was all just too good _not_ to take advantage of and celebrate the first bout of good fortune any of them had had in too long. Food was passed out and Gabriel, who Tess couldn't help but notice seemed to be off in his own world since returning from the food run, allowed them to dip in the communion wine.

It was a literal eat, drink and be merry atmosphere. Even Tess couldn't deny the shimmer of hope floating in her chest. Maybe things really were turning around.

She was sitting next to Tara, Glenn and Maggie across from them and Daryl not too far off to her right. She was perfectly content with her can of baked beans when the wine was passed Glenn's way. He took a drink before passing it to Maggie, she too taking a few small sips before allowing Tara to do the same. She handed the bottle to Tess but she just passed it right along to Daryl, only ever resulting to drinking when she was in a really dark place. Daryl took the bottle gladly, taking a healthy gulp which surprised Tess. She wouldn't have pegged him for a wine guy.

_'Never judge a book by its cover.'_

 She heard her grandfather's voice echo in her head before the bottle of wine was shoved back in front of her face. She looked over to Daryl, impatiently waiting for her to take the offering.

"No thanks, I'm good."

Apparently, he did not agree, if him shoving the bottle so far into her face that she had to pull away a bit to avoid being hit by it. And, apparently, her other three eating companions also did not agree, if the heavily expectant looks being sent her way were anything to go by. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle with a huff.

"I swear, the peer pressure with you all."

"Learn to love it, babe." Tara replied.

Tess took as small a sip as possible, winching at the taste the instance it hit her tongue.

" _Gaaaah_." she pushed the bottle back into Maggie's hands as if the bottle would suddenly explode, not missing their amused chuckles. There was even a small snort from Daryl.

"Lightweight." Maggie teased.

All other chatter in the room died down when Abraham suddenly rose, cup of wine in hand.

"I'd like to propose a toast."

Everyone looked towards him, giving their full attention.

"I look around this room... and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors. Cheers!"

There was a collective 'cheers' from everyone and Tess actually found herself fighting a smile. It was kind of cheesy, this big ol' happy group celebration. But, also, nice.

Only problem was, he wasn't quite done with his speech yet.

"Is that all you want to be?" he posed.

That question had everyone, once again, looking towards him, this time in curious confusion.

"Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? 'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again." he glanced around the room, making sure to make eye contact with all of them. "And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip."

He proceeded to talk a bit more still after that, asking Eugene to explain what was waiting in Washington, how they could finally hit the reset button on the world and save it. Save it for themselves, for the ones they had lost along the way, and most importantly, save it for the little one. Judith.

Tess admitted to herself that it was smart, using the baby as incentive, but had mostly checked out of the proposal. It didn't matter how good what he was selling sounded, she wasn't going. _They_ weren't going. It had already been agreed upon. Their current focus was to find Beth and....

"What was that?" Rick asked with a small laugh at his daughter's interrupting gurgling. "I think she knows what I'm about to say. She's in. If she's in, I'm in."

_'Wait, what?'_

Tess could feel her face growing tighter as the dread began to sink in, quickly.

"We're in."

There was another round of cheers of agreement, a new sense of hope and joy filling the room. Had she had the mind to really observe her surroundings, she would have noticed that there were two other people who weren't exactly buzzing with excitement the way the others were, but she was too busy sinking into the black hole that suddenly opened up below her.

_'No no no no no.'_

The people around her seemed oblivious when she quickly stood and went to go outside, but there were too many people blocking the path so she instead made her way to one of the back rooms, shutting the door behind her and taking a seat at the desk in the room, resting her elbows on the surface and snaking her hands through her hair. She closed her eyes as she felt the hard pound of her heart beating against the inside of her chest, urging herself not to have a full on meltdown.

Her racing thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door creaking open. She glanced up to see Daryl entering, slowly, as he shut the door behind him. She immediately started shaking her head at him.

"No. No, I can't.....I'm _not_ going to Washington. I..." she had to pause for a second, able to hear the way her voice shook like she was trying to talk and hold her breath at the same time. "I......I am so _grateful_ for everything you've done, everything you've _all_ done for me, but if this is the plan, if ya'll are goin' to D.C, then......this is my stop. This is where I get off the train." she finished, no room for argument.

He watched her silently, in that same way he had back at the funeral home. The silence was near deafening and Tess felt the need to get up and start pacing when he finally spoke up.

"I said we'd find 'em, didn't I?" 

The words paused the panic some.

"And we will. Even if it's just you an' me. We can meet up with the others later on if need be, but we ain't leavin' Georgia 'til we got 'em back. _Both of 'em._ "

And there it was again. The determination in his eyes. The absolute certainty that they were each getting their people back. The promise that neither one of them would stop until they did.

It took her breath away in a completely different way. A wave of relief so strong she couldn't fight back the few tears already slipping down. She took another shaky breath.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

 

 


	14. Holy House Part. 2

Mercifully, to whatever may have been left of her pride and ego at that point, Daryl left pretty quickly after the promise of not leaving Georgia with the others to give her a few minutes to regather herself, not before letting her know that he'd talk to Rick when he was able to get him privately. It was almost embarrassing, the amount of times she'd been a crying mess in front of him in the week or so of knowing him. She couldn't help it though. The very idea of leaving the area, let alone the entire state before finding Luke was so far off her radar of understanding even thinking about it now, knowing they weren't going to had her blood rushing again. Not only that though, the thought of not being with the group anymore was also, unexpectedly, anxiety inducing. It seemed, even in the small amount of time she had known them and the smaller amount of time she had spent actually interacting with most of them, she still managed to attach herself to the idea of being a part of it. A part of them. She'd forgotten how nice it could be to have people around her again. Good people.

Tess sniffed a few times before wiping her face and standing to walk around the room, an effort to clear out the jitters before going back to the main room. Suddenly feeling too warm, she took off the long sleeve button up she still had from Bob, leaving her in just the t-shirt she had had since the funeral home. She rummaged through the desk drawers and was able to find a rubber band that she used to pull her hair back. She had been keeping it mostly on the shorter side since the beginning of things, not wanting to deal with the hassle of controlling the rat's nest it would surely become without being able to take regular showers or even having a brush to use. It was at a point where the length was between her chin and shoulders, but the curly nature still made it unruly. She put it in a loose pony tail, just enough to keep it out of her face. She took a few extra rubber bands and put them around her wrist.

Always nice to have extras.

She walked to the door and reached for the handle before stopping herself. She could still hear the happy chatter from the other side and it paused her movements. She wasn't quite back in the mood yet to be surrounded by the joyful celebrating, and was even less in the mood to pretend she was. She turned around instead, leaning against the closed door. She laid her palms flat against the wood, tapping her fingertips a few times. An old and faithful nervous tick. She glanced around the room again, hoping to find something to distract herself with. There wasn't much of anything besides a few bookcases and the desk she had already been through during her hunt for rubber bands. Her eyes finally landed on a small collection of photos on the side wall. She walked over to take a better look, finding several group photos of the same people that she could only assume was Gabriel's flock.

His old flock, that is to say.

It was a detail she was sure she wasn't the only one thinking about, despite no one else seeming to address the fact just yet.

How _had_ he come to be all alone here? For so long?

Raised voices from the other room interrupted her musings, drawing her attention. She frowned to herself, wondering what could have changed the atmosphere so quickly as she walked back to the door and let herself out. She was met by a clearly distressed, and very much angry Sasha pulling a gun on Gabriel, demanding to know who was watching them and where their people were.

_'The hell?'_

Gabriel was a quaking mess, insisting he knew nothing and had nothing to do with anyone as Rick and Tyreese were momentarily able put a little space between the preacher and Sasha before Rick then took over the questioning - more calmly but also more intimidatingly. Tess quietly made her way to stand near Tara as she listened to Rick ask about the message left for Gabriel, about how he would _'burn for this'_ and about the lady at the food bank, probing for an answer for just what it was he had done to her.

"What's goin' on?" she whispered to Tara when she reached her side.

Tara slid nervous eyes over to her. "Bob's missing. Carol and Daryl too."

"What?" she asked sharply.

She didn't think she had been in that room for longer than maybe 20 minutes, how was it three of them had manged to go missing in that time with no one noticing? But, any response from Tara was cut off by Gabriel's unexpected cries.

"I lock the doors at night.......I always lock the doors at night. I always...." he broke off into small sobs, gradually becoming stronger as he explained how his congregation had come to him seeking refuge after the bombing of Atlanta, and how he had refused them entry. Left them all, woman, children, entire families to fall victim to the swarm of walkers who had come for them due to the amount of noise their desperate cries for help had caused. He finished by falling to his knees, claiming that God had now sent Rick and the others to punish him to his damnation.

You could have heard a pin drop at the moment as they all gazed upon the broken man, trying to digest his confession and what it ultimately meant for the rest of them.

It was why they were able to hear the whistling so clearly.

They all turned to the sound, on edge as Glenn made his way to peek out one of the front windows.

"There's something, there's someone outside lying in the grass."

Sasha was the first to move, closely followed by Rick and Tyreese, Glenn on their heels. Tess had just made it to the door in time with Tara to hear Sasha crying out Bob's name and watching as they quickly worked to get his unconscious form up and back into the church before the new group of walkers surrounding them got too close. Both woman jumped when gun shots started ringing out from the woods, taking out the walkers as Rick blindly fired off a few rounds into the trees at the unknown presence.

It was now official. That feeling of being watched hadn't been simple paranoia.

-x-

 Whoever came up with the expression 'Things can't get any worse' was an idiot. When things got bad, they _only_ tended to get worse.

They were perfect examples of that fact.

When Bob came to inside the church, it was only to reveal bad news and then even more bad news.

It was Gareth and five other survivors from Terminus that had been watching and following them. They were also the ones responsible for Bob's now missing leg but, apparently, not for Carol and Daryl's disappearance. And, after refusing any kind of pain relief they might have to offer, he then revealed the damning walker bite to his shoulder.

Tess felt the migraine mounting as she half heartedly watched the standoff between Rick and Abraham break out. Rick wanted to go after Gareth and the others, end things once and for all. Abraham, on the other hand, was having none of that. He insisted they needed to get on their way to D.C pronto, not willing to keep Eugene's safety at risk in an increasingly hostile environment. Rick let him know with no uncertainty that, if nothing else, Carol and Daryl were out there still and would be back and they were not leaving them behind. For anything. To which Abraham gave his respects to the decision, but made one of his own that he and his original people would be going their separate ways. Things really got heated when Rick asked if they would be leaving on foot, an indication that he had no plans to let them take the bus. The bus that, in Abraham's opinion, was rightfully theirs as they were the ones that fixed it.

Two alpha males standing their ground, refusing to give up dominance.

She was positive things were about to get physical when Glenn finally stepped between the two men, Tara adding her voice in an attempt to defuse the mounting tension. Tess just watched on still, now in silent disbelief as they started using each other to bargain with. Before she could fully grasp what was actually being said, things seemed to be settled. Over Rick's abject refusal, Glenn agreed that he and Maggie, along with Tara, would join Abraham, Rosita and Eugene to D.C on the condition that they give them just half a day to help take care of Gareth and his remaining followers.

So, not only was Bob dying, two other members still missing and a vengeful group who wanted all of their heads, but now come this time tomorrow the people, besides Daryl, that she had the most success connecting to thus far would be gone. It was funny how earlier in the evening the idea of not being around the group for a period of time while her and Daryl stayed behind to keep searching for Luke and Beth hadn't fazed her too much, but now, hearing the fact set in stone that even some of them would soon be gone felt like such a momentous loss.

It also, with remorse, had negative thoughts about Maggie creeping in. She tried to squash them before they could take root. After all, she knew the younger woman was only trying to help in keeping the peace between the two groups, but she just couldn't get over how..... _easily_ of a time Maggie seemed to have with leaving. She hadn't quite caught onto the fact earlier - too consumed over the idea of leaving an area Luke could still be in - but now that she was thinking of it, she didn't get it. Beth was still out there as well. Wasn't that more important? Wouldn't her sister's life be more of a concern than placating some brute's needs and wants?

Tess checked out completely as plans started to be made about going after Gareth, walking dejectedly back towards Gabriel's office where he had offered Sasha to lay Bob on the sofa in there. She stood by the door a moment, watching on as Sasha gently tended to Bob. She bumped her knuckles on the door lightly to signal her arrival, catching her attention.

"Hey...is there anything I can....do?" she asked hesitantly, feeling foolish for even bothering when they both were keenly aware of the inevitable.

Sasha looked as if she were about to refuse when her eyes caught on something over Tess' shoulder. Tess turned to see Tyreese standing behind her, seeking a word with his sister. Sasha walked towards to door, handing Tess a wet wash cloth when she reached her.

"Just, try to keep his fever down?" she asked quietly.

Tess nodded and watched as the two stepped outside the door to talk amongst themselves more privately before making her way to sit in the chair by Bob's side. She dipped the wash cloth in the bowel of water on the small side table and wrung it out before softly wiping it over his face and resting it across his forehead. His eyelids fluttered before opening and he cracked a small smile when he took in her presence.

"My my, how the tables have turned." he joked.

"Lucky for you it's just a temporary reprieve."

He kept the smile on his face as he tilted his head towards the door when Sasha's voice raised slightly over something.

"Think they're talking about me?"

She kept her eyes on the door as the voices returned to murmurs. "Think it's a small possibility, yeah."

She could probably work on her bedside manner.

She felt his hand on her arm then.

"Hey now, no need for you to be doing that, either." he scolded lightly.

"Do what?" she asked as she brought her eyes back to his.

"Start acting like it's the end. It's not over yet, and it's not over at all for you."

_'Sure is feelin' like it.'_  

"After all, you still got your boy to find, don't you?"

She allowed the doubt to sink in again at that. Allowed her fear to settle in the pit of her stomach and, in the quiet moment between just herself and Bob, she allowed herself to voice them out loud for the first time.

"What if......what if there _is_ _nothing_ to find?"

He simply waved off her concerns.

"Well now, I don't believe that."

"You don't, huh?" she asked, doing nothing to hide her dubious tone.

"No ma'am, not at all."

"Feelin' petty sure of yourself, are ya?"

"Yup. Sure am."

She let out a small, bitter huff of air. 

"And what makes you so sure?"

"Simple. You got Daryl. Best tracker in the game."

"Yeah, but we don't even know.."

"Gareth said him and Carol took off in the car in a hurry. They were going _after_ something."

Her brows came together some. "...you think it was them?"

"Can you think of any other reason he would just take off out of the blue like that?"

No. No she couldn't. Not when he was just as hell bent on finding Beth as she was on finding Luke. Not when it was his idea only an hour or so beforehand to stay behind, away from his own people to stay with her as long as it took. Not when it was.....Daryl. Which shouldn't have carried such weight for her but, somehow, did.

"No." she finally replied.

"Exactly. And I've known the guy a lot longer than you have. Trust me, he wouldn't just leave for nothing."

-x-

Tyreese came back in shortly after, alone. He explained that Rick, along with Sasha, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Tara and Abraham would be departing soon to go after the Terminants, leaving himself, Tess, Rosita, Eugene, Gabriel, Carl and Judith to stay behind along with Bob. Rick gave a full run down of the plan back out in the main room before giving out instructions to those staying behind and making sure they were locked in the room before he and his group left.

Tess couldn't stop her knees from bouncing nervously. She felt like such a sitting duck, even with her knife and gun at the ready. And the waiting was making it worse.

The sudden creaking noise of the front doors opening took care of that problem though.

She silently rose from her seat, keeping her eyes trained on the door separating them from whoever was entering and, in a move she was completely unaware of, she placed herself slightly in front of Carl who was holding a sleeping Judith. 

"Well, I guess you know we're here."

She forced herself to maintain her ground as she saw Tyreese and Rosita silently creep up out of her peripheral and hold their respective weapons at the ready.

"And we know you're here. And we're armed. So there's really no point in hiding anymore. We've been watching you. We know who's here. There's Bob, unless you've put him out of his misery already."

Her eyes flicked over towards Bob for a second before falling back on the door as Gareth continued to name each and every one of them before telling them how they were aware of the fact that Rick and the others walked out with the majority of their weapons. Tess had to fight against the chill his words sent down her spine and, judging by the way both Tyreese and Rosita tensed up, they were having the same feeling. It was weird, they already knew they were being watched but to actually have it narrated to you was unnerving.

In the ensuring silence they could actually hear Gareth's irritated sigh.

"Listen, we don't know where you all are, but this isn't a big place. So let's just stop this now before things get more painful than they need to be."

A moment's pause before the unmistakable sound of a door knob being jiggled.

"Look, you're behind one of these two doors and we have more than enough firepower to take down both. Can't imagine that's what you all want."

Tess felt her heart start to hammer more when he decided to take another approach.

"How about the priest? Father, you help us wrap this up, we'll let you walk away from this. Just open the door and you can go. You can take the baby with you. What do you say?"

Unfortunately, it was Judith herself who had something to say about the matter.

Her sudden cries were like a giant neon arrow over their heads, pointing right to them.

"I don't know. Maybe we'll keep the kid. I'm starting to like this girl."

The newfound glee in his voice was hard to miss as Tess turned to see Carl urgently trying to get his sister to calm down, coming over and laying her hand over the baby's head in a desperate attempt to fight a losing battle. She didn't miss the mess of a state Eugene was in and how closely Gabriel seemed to be behind him and wondered how much longer they'd be able to hold out.

"It's your last chance right now to tell us you're coming out. Are we done? We'll hit the hinges."

The distinct sound of silenced gun shots and two bodies hitting the floor was a welcomed relief, and Rick's low voice demanding they lower their guns to the floor was music to her ears.

Gareth made an attempt to threaten Rick into submission by insisting they would fire their way into the room but was cut off by another silenced shot that must have hit him somewhere, if his cries of pain were any indication.

"Put your guns on the floor and kneel."

Those still in the room listened on as he tried appealing to Rick's moral side, insisting that they were good people too, once, helping people and saving people before the _others_ came and wiped out the majority of them. He made once last plea, begged Rick to just let them walk away and they would never see them again.

But Rick was searching for finality.

"I already made you a promise."

Gareth's 'No!' was the last distinguishable thing to be heard before it was all screams and groans mixing together in a symphony of pain and agony. Again, without truly being aware of her movements, Tess turned away from the door, pushing Carl with Judith still in his arms towards the corner of the room. She just shook her head somewhat when she caught his questioning look, lightly stroking Judith's head again to distract herself from the sounds of brutality coming from behind the door.

She stayed in place even after the quiet filtered in through the small room again. Even after Tyreese slowly opened the door only to be stunned silent by what he saw. Even after Gabriel's whimpers about this being the Lord's house, just to be met with Maggie's harsh reply.

"No. It's just four walls and a roof."

-x-

Carl wasn't a dumb kid. He knew exactly what kind of sight awaited outside the office just as well as Tess did. But, even with how much she had seen him try to insert himself into the main action of anything going on since first meeting him in that train car, he humored her in staying behind in the room with her and a once again sleeping Judith while the others helped clean up. She didn't know if it was just because she held him back when he initially tried to leave or his father's approving look of the choice when he came in to check on his kids. Or, maybe, it was neither of those things. Maybe she just wasn't keeping her cool as well as she thought she had been and he was simply taking pity on her. Either way, he stayed.

Why add more onto the pile of horrors any of them had already seen if they didn't have to, she figured.

The next morning, when it was all said and done and the bodies had been cleared out, everyone gathered by Bob's side, saying their final goodbyes.

When Tess' turn came she felt like there was so much to say to him but had no clue as to how to properly express any of it. She instead went with the easiest, simplest of ways. Grabbing his hand tightly, she blinked away the slight blurriness creeping in on her vision.

"Thank you, for _everything._ "

He shot her that same reassuring smile that had almost been a permanent staple since she first encountered him.

"My pleasure." he gave a weak tug on her own hand, drawing her down a little closer to him so he could speak a bit more softly to her. "Just remember, you still got work to do."

She gave him a small, watery smile in return, taking a moment before leaning in the remainder of the way to lay a quick kiss to his cheek.

She turned before she even fully stood again, knowing she wouldn't make having another look at his dying face. Serene and accepting as it was. She left the room with Rick being the last one to have his final words with the man and took a seat on one of the front pews. A few minutes later she watched Rick walk out with Judith in his arms, looking to be in contemplative thought as he passed by Sasha, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder in passing before she entered the room to spend whatever precious few moments she had left with the man she loved. Not more than 10 minutes later she watched as Tyreese, who had been standing just outside the door way, walk in after his sister and Tess had to imagine it only meant one thing. 

It was over.

A few moments later a crying Sasha quickly exited the room, leaving Tyreese behind, alone. Tess' curiosity got the best of her and she slowly made her way back to the doorway, glancing inside to find Tyreese standing over Bob's dead body, holding the knife Sasha had given him the night before should Bob had died before they made it back. She saw the way the hand holding the knife started shaking as he prepared to put his friend down, for good. Her feet were carrying her over to him before she could think about it. She tenderly rested a hand on the large man's arm, gaining his attention. When his face snapped over to hers, she slowly moved to delicately take the knife from his hands, an act that he only somewhat fought against, but ended up conceding to when she didn't loosen her hold.

"It's ok." she said with a small nod of her head. "You don't have to."

He watched her face closely for a minute, a few errant tears slipping down his face when she had the knife fully in her own grasp. He nodded once, before patting her arm appreciatively before finally stepping back to go join his sister.

Tess waited til he was out of the room before turning back to Bob. She shook her head quickly before her own tears could start up again, took a deep breath, and swiftly slid the knife through the temple. Ending his life for good.

-x-

Later on that day, after Bob's body was buried, they all gathered to say their goodbyes to the now departing members off to D.C, Abraham giving Rick a map with the route they planned on taking there and Rick promising that once Daryl and Carol returned they'd be following behind. Tess took the time to say goodbye to Tara and Glenn, and - despite her still inability to understand how Maggie could be leaving without a fuss - she gave her a tight hug too, with a whispered promise that they would get Beth back. Maggie responded only by squeezing Tess a little tighter before pulling back and parting with a smile.

Later on in the evening, Tess made her way outside to stand on the porch, badly needing a moment to just breathe in some fresh air and have a second to collect herself. She passed Gabriel on her way out who had just come in himself, looking every bit a broken man. When she made it outside herself she was met by Michonne, who was already standing out there inspecting her newly reacquired katana sword closely. She looked behind her to find Tess standing in the doorway.

"Sorry." Tess said more out of habit than anything. "Not intrudin', am I?"

Michonne just gave a small smile. "Not at all."

Tess closed the doors behind her and came to stand next to her and bent to rest both elbows on the porch railing and let out a decompressing sigh. They stood in comfortable silence for a bit before Michonne gave a sigh of her own.

"Rough day, huh?" Michonne asked her with a sideways glance.

Tess nodded. "Yeah, rough day."

They resumed their own individual musings when the oddly peaceful quiet was interrupted by rustling coming from the woods. They both went tense and rigid, Michonne tightening her grip on her sword and Tess' hand dropping to grab hold of the gun she was fastly growing more accustomed to and walked side by side down the stairs with Tess only staying at the bottom when Michonne motioned for her to stay at the ready while she crept closer towards the tree line, stopping and smiling when it was Daryl who stepped through. Tess felt her own relieved smile grace her face at the sight of him, seemingly unharmed.

But then Michonne looked behind him slightly before looking back to him.

"Where's Carol?"

Daryl looked at both of them, Tess noticing a particular look he seemed to be giving her before looking back over his shoulder towards the trees.

"It's alright. You can come out now." he instructed to an unknown person.

Both woman listened to more leaves rustling before a young black kid, who couldn't have been any older than maybe 18, 19 at most emerged from the cover of the woods.

Not just him though. He had his hands on the shoulders of yet another person. Another boy.

_Luke._

 

 

 


	15. How Lucky We've Been

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll, so it occurred to me that even with anxiety and depression tags being listed, I've never actually given a head's up when it's going to be involved in a chapter the way I did with the sexual assault in the chapter 'The Clearing'. And I understand how simply reading about it can be triggering to some people, hell just writing it out the way it happens to me and how it makes me feel when I'm going through it makes me a little anxious sometimes so I want to 1. Apologize for not giving proper warning, and 2. Just give a blanket warning that the majority of the remaining story will have mentions of it to some degree or another in most chapters.  
> Also, sorry to do the broken record thing here, but my bud Incog_Ninja is still working hard to help out her cousin who, along with her 2 boys are in need of some serious help to get out of a bad situation for good. So if you can at all spare the time, please check out her gofundme page:
> 
> https://www.gofundme.com/f/the-faith-freedom-fund?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet

Then

_'Never say never.'_

That was one of her grandfather's many favorite quotes he liked to use on the regular. So, in theory, Tess should have known better than to test it. But, she did. She had told herself countless times that, even when she was going through the worst of it, she would never feel nearly as lost in this new world as she had in those beginning days actually out _in it_ after first leaving her grandfather's hunting cabin.

Well, never say never.

Because now she was pacing nervously around the little cave she had been staying in the last three days, with her new traveling partner, trying to figure out just what the hell to do. She had carried him back there last night after leaving the small drug store, his little arms and legs still clutched around her from the second she had embraced him in that dingy bathroom. He never said a word, or even made so much as a single peep the entire time but she didn't put much thought into it at the time. Not only had this poor kid seen God only knew what in his time out there before meeting her, but now his mom was dead. A fact that he was very clearly aware of. She had seen it in his eyes back in that bathroom. He was much too perceptive than a kid his age had any right to be, or should have to be.

So, she didn't push things. She knew he was in some state of shock and she didn't have the ability to talk him out of it. She made a few meager attempts at conversation, asking his name, how old he was, favorite color....things of that nature. But she gave up pretty quickly when all she was getting in return was that unblinking stare that felt like it was going straight through her. So she took the few thin blankets she had and made him a little bed as best she could and gave him an old hoodie she still had for him to use as a pillow and told him he needed to try to get some sleep, promising she'd be right there when he woke up when she saw the minor fear enter his eyes.

When his small body finally gave out to the exhaustion she kept her mind busy by going through the contents of his little backpack. It included three changes of clothes and a jacket, a few packs of old gummy candies, a large water bottle still mostly filled, a little yellow hankie, and the old walkman and headphones he had been using when she first discovered him. Along with two cassette tapes. The Louis Armstrong one she found him listening to and one of Aerosmith. She pulled a face at the find. Louis Armstrong she could get behind, in a pinch. But Aerosmith? Not a choice she would make for herself. The only thing in the whole bag that gave her any help was the emergency contact card that was tucked into the back pocket on the inside. From that she learned his name was Luke Walton, son of Patricia and Samuel Walton, was 5 years of age and hailed from Grantville in Coweta County, GA. His grandparents were the ones who were to be contacted in case of an emergency situation. Surely, Tess thought, those poor folks were long gone.The last find was of a wrinkled up photo in one of the side pockets. It was a family photo, a toddler aged Luke being held by his mother - the woman she had put down earlier - and of a handsome man, his father she could only assume, looking to be about the same age as his mother standing behind the both of them, arms wrapped tightly around his wife's waist.

It wasn't much of a stretch to assume he, too, was long gone.

She never fell asleep, too wound up over her new charge duties to even think about it. When he eventually rose himself shortly after the sun did she watched as he started looking expectantly around the cave, looking for _someone_ , she could tell, and felt her heart break a little when he came up empty in his search.

She had jumped into action quickly after that, trying anything she could think of to distract him. She tried to get him to eat a little something, which he refused. She tried asking him simple questions again, but he still wouldn't utter a single word. She tried to get him to listen to his music and that ended up being the mistake. As soon as he seen the Aerosmith tape his eyes instantly welled up and he began to silently cry.

Which is what led her to her current state of pacing.

She had tried, at first, a few lousy attempts at consoling him but it was pointless. Despite once upon a time dreams of wanting to become a mother in another life, she had no real experience with kids or how to deal with them. Let alone one who just went through something so utterly traumatic. Seeing him in such a state of distress was killing her though, so she was fervently racking her brain for anything she could use to help.

Like always, it was her grandfather who came through to help.

She started thinking of all the stories he use to read to her as a little girl, and though Peter Rabbit was her favorite he also use to read her a lot of Winnie the Pooh books. They had been her mother's favorite when she was a kid. It was one of the only handful of things she and her mother ever had in common. 

One thing, in particular, started flashing in her mind. Something she thought his little brain might be able to process better than any words she could come up with on her own. Something she thought maybe, _just maybe_ , might be able to get through to him just enough to at least settle him down a little.

She stopped her pacing to look at him full on before slowly making her way over to him, him watching her every step of the way. She sat down cross legged in front of him, studied his face for a few moments while he did the same before taking a breath.

"Look, kid, I um....' she hesitated, not even wanting to bring it up but having to to get to her point. "I'm so, so sorry about your mommy, and I uh, I know you're missin' her and I know that's somethin' that's never gonna go away." she watched tears start to come faster and tried to speed up some. "But I do know one thing. I know she's watchin' over you now, like an angel, and I.....I know she would be very proud of you, for bein' so brave."

She felt the urge to touch him then, with no real idea as to why. She brushed his hair away a little, let her index finger run down his cheek somewhat before using both thumbs to wipe away some of his tears.

"And, umm, even though you probably don't feel like it, I know how....how lucky you are. How lucky you've been to have somethin' that makes sayin' goodbye so hard."

When the silence continued she started second guessing her choice. Maybe that hadn't been the best approach. Maybe it wasn't as child friendly or comforting as she thought it might be. Hearing the words out loud, she wasn't sure now why she thought they would soften the blow any.

But, then he moved. With somewhat unsure movements, he crawled into her lap and laid his head on her shoulder, clutching his little yellow hankie in one hand and her shirt in the other.

It would be the first sign that made her think she could _possibly_ do this.

Now

It's one thing to hear the expression. Another to hear other people talk about it. But to actually experience it yourself? There were no words to describe it.

The world, Tess' world, literally stopped.

She could see Luke. Right there. Right there in front of her. And the world stopped.

She couldn't feel anything. Not the slight chill in the night air or the light breeze blowing by. 

She couldn't hear anything. Not the sound of rustling leaves or the nighttime critters singing their lullabies. 

She couldn't see anything. Not the surrounding woods or the other three people in front of her.

Just Luke. Just the tunnel vision that led straight an directly to _Luke_.

It was the longest five seconds of her life.

Then the world started again and she felt only minorly dizzy when it all fast forwarded the few seconds to catch up again. By then she had dropped the gun she had been holding and shot off towards him, sliding roughly to her knees in front of him and wrapped her arms around him in a death grip with a sob filled with more emotion than anything she had ever emitted before in her life.

Back. He was back and he was safe. 

She pulled back just enough without having to loosen her hold on him to really look him over. There was a somewhat nasty looking scrape on his right cheek, but other than that he appeared fine. Physically. She couldn't begin to guess what his emotional state might be like, but considering the happy smile he was giving her she was hoping that whatever it was he had been through in the past few days weren't too traumatizing, or at least wouldn't leave too much of a scarring effect.

She let out another sob, smaller, happier this time before looking up to Daryl standing above her with knitted brows.

"How?" she asked him breathlessly.

"Beth." he stated simply before nodding over towards the young newcomer with him. "And Noah here."

In another bout of speed no one ever thought she was capable of until they witnessed it first hand, she sprung up from her place on the ground and hurled herself at Noah, throwing her arms around his neck and nearly bowling the poor kid over with the force of the move and also from being unaware of his bum leg.

"Thank you thank you thank you." she whispered over and over again.

Then, without any thought or premeditation, she promptly turned and flung her arms around Daryl's waist, beginning to repeat the same mantra to him when the last little bit of coherency she had was just able to pick up how instantly rigid his entire body went at the sudden contact, causing her to let go immediately before falling back to the floor and gathering Luke back in her arms. Just as tightly, terrified that he might vanish right in front of her again if she didn't have a hold on him. She had one arm around his shoulders and the other hand pressing his head to her shoulder.

"I got ya. I got ya. I got ya." is what she kept repeating to him now, pulling back again so she could place her hands on either side of his face as her relieved, joyful tears kept coming. "I missed you so, _soo_ much big guy."

He smiled bigger, nodding along and leaning in to kiss her cheek to show he returned the sentiment. 

Michonne came to her side then, crouching down next to her with a warm smile on her face.

"And who's this handsome fellow?" she asked, despite already knowing the answer.

Tess looked over at her with a watery smile.

"This..." she had to stop for a second to let out a small laugh that still held notes of disbelief that this was really happening. "This is Luke." she turned back to look at him, grabbing one of his hands. "Luke, this is Michonne. She's uh, she's a new friend of mine. A new friend of ours. In fact, we've got a lot of new friends for you to meet."

Michonne held out her own hand with that same warm, gentle smile.

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you Luke."

He smiled back as he shook her hand.

It was when Tess heard the church doors open and looked over to see Rick and the others start to pile out to investigate what all the commotion was about, saw the curiosity and realization begin to settle in one by one on their faces that reality sunk in again, and her own bout of realization hit her. Hard.

"Wait," she looked to Daryl, briefly to Noah then back Daryl with a troubled frown. "Where _are_ Beth and Carol?"

He bypassed her and looked straight to Rick who had made his way over to them.

"We need ta talk."

-x-

Naturally, there was still plenty of shit to sort through. There were still some problems they had to address so Tess stood off to the side with Luke, introducing him to Carl and Judith - who were standing with her - properly and then quietly pointing out each of the remaining adults on the other side of room and telling him just their names and a little bit about each one for now until they had the time to have real introductions.

He seemed particularly fascinated by baby Judith. It seemed even at the tender age of roughly 6 now, he too found the amazement of a baby being around in this world.

As she kept them occupied Daryl spent the time informing Rick and the others - save for Gabriel, who was merely sitting on one of the front pews staring off into space - just what was going on.

He and Carol had taken off after seeing the black car with the white cross that had taken Beth and Luke in the first place and followed behind, eventually finding themselves in Atlanta and discovering the car belonged to an officer but were unable to continue following because their car had run out of gas. After holing up for the night they spent the next morning searching around the city to try to figure out where the man in the car headed and ended up being confronted by Noah, who attempted to steal their weapons and was even successful in doing so until Daryl caught sight of Luke peeking out from his hiding place inside a nearby garbage can. It was then a fight ensured, Daryl able to overpower the boy and demanding to know how he came to be with the boy and what he knew of Beth. Once it was clear they were all, basically, on the same side the real story came out.

There was a group of officers who had taken over the area and were running out of Grady Memorial Hospital, all led by a woman named Dawn. Apparently, they took in injured survivors they came across, would nurse them back to health and then keep them around to work off their 'debts'. It was essentially a type of slave trade system. Noah had been there for a few months before Beth and Luke were brought in. After telling Beth about his home in Richmond, VA, a walled in community he was trying to get back to, the two of them devised the plan to escape. With Noah's distraction, Beth was able to swipe the spare key to the elevator shaft they could use to get down to the ground level undetected and exit out the back of the ground level. But, after injuring his leg during a fall he taken partway down the shaft, Beth was left to mostly fight off the swarming walkers in the hospital's parking lot on her own as she sent Luke ahead with Noah, insisting he get the little boy out of harm's way. He got them to the fence, hastily pushing the both of them through which was the cause of the scrape on Luke's cheek. He turned back to then help Beth through, only to see her get tackled to the ground by one of the officers. Going off her yelled instructions and encouraged by her victorious smile, he took Luke and got them out of there as fast as he could. It was the next morning he ran into Daryl and Carol.

After being told that they would need a lot of people and fire power to overtake the remaining members at the hospital, Daryl let him know they had both back at the church and they were just on their way back when Carol was run down by a car, then taken by the Grady Memorial people. That was when the three of them made their way back to the church and came to be where they were now.

After Rick gave a quick recap of his own of the things that had happened while they were gone, plans were quickly made on what to do next. 

A group consisting of Rick, Daryl, Sasha and Tyreese would take off back to Atlanta on a rescue mission, along with Noah since he was so familiar with the hospital and the people running it. Plus the area in general. Michonne and Tess would stay back at the church with the children and Gabriel.

Before leaving, they all, with the exception of Tess after Rick insisted she only needed to worry about enjoying her reunion with Luke for now, worked quickly to strip down the church and use the varying materials to board up the windows and doors - once they left - and used the splintered wood from the broken down pews and organ pipes to barricade the doorway from the outside. Gabriel watched the destruction of his church with dismay before focusing his attention on obsessively trying to clean up some of the blood stains soaked into the wooden floors from the massacre two nights before.

Before leaving, Rick walked over to the ones staying behind, telling Carl to watch out for his sister - and ignoring his son's slight pout at not being allowed to go - and telling Michonne and Tess to keep a close eye on Gabriel, and of course his kids, to which both woman nodded. He took one extra moment to bend down to Luke's level.

"I'm Rick. I've heard a lot about you from your mom here, I can't wait to get back and get ta know you better." he told him.

Luke, again that morning, nodded along excitedly. He had, after all, just recently learned that the man was a cop a little while earlier. Something that clearly delighted him.

With one last parting smile, to Luke and the rest of them, he was off with the others.

Once again, the waiting game began.

-x-

Even with the massive calming effect having Luke back by her side was having on her, Tess was still finding herself quickly losing her patience with Gabriel. She got it, boy did she get it. He felt tremendous, unimaginable guilt over what he had done to his flock of followers and after spending so much time hiding in his mostly untouched corner of the woods, he was truly stunned by the violence he had witnessed in such a sort amount of time. But, still.

It took a decent amount of willpower to keep her mouth shut when, after Carl smartly told him to choose a weapon so they could start teaching him how to defend himself better, he compared them to being the same as Gareth and his group. To Tess' ears, it almost sounded like he was implying they may even be worse when they still took them out even after Gareth had said they would leave and just go. But, she watched on impressed as the young Grimes boy explained how lucky he was that he and his church had managed to last that long to begin with. About how you couldn't stay in one place for too long anymore and once you were out there, there would be no such thing as hiding anymore and he would have to know how to fight.

She was blown away, not for the first time, with the kid's maturity. However, it didn't mean she wasn't wearing the same troubled look Michonne wore at the mere fact that he had to be so battle hardened.

He eventually picked out a machete, allowing Carl to show him a few basic defense moves before declaring he needed to lay down for a while, heading off to his office and shutting the door behind him. A short time later Michonne attempted to check on him, see if he was feeling any better. She even tried to piggyback off of Carl's earlier words, that the things they do are worth it to keep their family safe. He mostly brushed her off though before claiming once more that he just needed some rest, so she let him be.

Falling for that line and not questioning his newfound evasiveness was the mistake all three of them made.

Roughly half an hour after that they were all shocked to suddenly hear Gabriel, from _outside_ the church, banging on the doors and hysterically crying and begging for help much like he had been the first day they found him stuck up on that boulder. There wasn't even any time to wonder how he managed to get outside before the dreaded sound of the dead snarling and growling, eagerly trying to force their way through the barricaded wall that had been put up earlier reached their ears. With no other way in or out Michonne was forced to cut down the wooden planks that were holding the doors in place, getting them open just in time for Gabriel to slip through but it was only a moment longer before the dead were forcing their way through as well. Michonne immediately started taking down the closest ones with her katana and Tess pushed Carl and Judith towards the back with Luke and Gabriel as she rushed forward to help Michonne. With her bowie knife in hand, she started stabbing into anything in reach but it was quickly becoming a losing battle. There were just too many of them. They had no choice but to start retreating backwards into the back office.

It was then Gabriel finally offered up something helpful.

"C'mon, this way, here!" he urgently pulled Carl, holding a crying Judith with one arm and using his other hand to pull Luke along with him, over to a hole in the floor that hadn't been there previously as Michonne and Tess still tried to keep the closest walkers at bay.

"This is how I got out. Crawl under to the back. Just go! Take the little ones and go." he instructed.

To the alarm of both woman. Michonne was able to find her voice first.

"Hey! Hey, you wait for me."

"It's worth it." Gabriel promised. "I'm not going anywhere until you're gone." he added in an effort to appease the obvious distrust both woman had for him.

They finally relented, Michonne giving Carl a nod to go with Tess following suit and doing the same to Luke. They killed several more walkers before Michonne pushed Tess back and told her to start going after the children, which she did gladly - considering they were still unaware of what the situation outside was like.

Tess jumped through the hole and started crawling after the kids, hearing the lighter thud of Michonne and then the heavier thud of Gabriel hitting the ground and crawling after her. Once they were out and sure there weren't any other immediate threats around, Michonne and Tess once again left the kids in Gabriel's care, or Carl's, more like, to dispatch of the few remaining walkers that had impaled themselves on the organs and splintered wood beams before then making quick work to get the doors blocked shut from the outside this time, ensuring any remaining walkers were now trapped inside.

They both went over to check on the three kids, made sure they were fine and barely gave Gabriel and his now injured foot a second thought. They were both pretty done with him by that point.

They eventually sat on the church steps, taking the breather they were very much in need of now and just waiting for the group to return so they could finally get out of this area and the doomed church for good.

After some time, Michonne at last was the one to ask the question they wanted an answer to.

"Where did you go?"

"To the school." he only said at first, before elaborating. "I had to see. I had to know for sure."

"Know what?"

"That you guys weren't lying to me."

This time, Tess couldn't hold her tongue.

"Are you kiddin' me?!" she asked him with incredulity. "You've done nothin' _but lie_ to us since we got here but you're gonna question _us?_ "

He seemed surprised by her outburst, Michonne and Carl mirroring the look slightly themselves, but before anyone could say anything more there was forceful banging on the doors again. They all jumped up and away from the stairs, Tess clutching Luke to her side and backing up more and more as the dead were becoming successful in making their way back out.

Then, the unexpected happened.

Seemingly out of thin air, a fire engine truck came roaring by, barreling straight through the church and permanently putting an end to the threat.

They looked on with wide eyes before watching as Maggie jumped out.

"You guys alright?"

"Yeah." Michonne answered for them all, before looking confused. "You're back?"

She just sighed and shook her head as the others started piling out of the truck to survey the damage.

"Long story. But," she looked around before her eyes came back to Michonne. "Where's everybody else?"

"Beth." Tess piped in quickly. "Daryl and Carol, they found her," she looked down at Luke just as Maggie seemed to notice him for the first time and then back up with a barely contained smile. "They found 'em both."

Maggie's eyes went wide and hopeful as she looked between the two woman.

"She's alive?"

"Yeah. She's being held at Grady Memorial Hospital by some group. The others went to get her back." Michonne explained.

Glenn came up beside her then as she threw her arms around him in an elated hug and let out a laugh as her eyes watered a little. Tess had to smile because she knew the feeling exactly. And it was a great one.

"And this?" she turned back to them as she looked down with a beaming smile. "Is this Luke?"

Again, Tess just smiled and nodded because she felt a small lump in her throat that she thought might obstruct her words.

"Well what're are we waiting for then?" Tara asked. "Let's blow this joint and go save your sister."

-x-

They had all, Gabriel included, piled into the truck and made their way to Atlanta so that their group, in its entirety, could finally be reunited. 

Maggie explained that long story about the trip to D.C. along the way. 

Turns out, it really wasn't all that long.

Eugene had lied. Plain and simple. There was no cure, no interface whatever the hell he had called it that could cure whatever infection had started this whole mess to begin with. He had just thought it would be a potentially much safer area but wasn't equipped, and was too scared, to try to make the journey on his own.

Tess wasn't too sure how she felt about it. She wasn't as affected as the others at the loss, that she knew for sure. Maybe because she had such a hard time believing the story to begin with. When things sound too good and all that. But, she was still a little bummed. For the others. They had clearly put a lot of faith into the tale, and it was clear they were taking it as a big hit. As far as Tess, herself, she was just more peeved about the whole thing than anything else.

She spent the drive introducing Luke to the new members he hadn't met yet. Eugene kept to himself quietly, much like Gabriel was doing. Abraham simply gave him a grunt in greeting. Rosita gave him a small wave. Maggie, Glenn and Tara were much more warmly welcoming. And Luke seemed just as taken with them. He was especially excited about meeting Beth's sister. He was also eager just to get back to Beth.

Whatever they had gone through together did nothing but strengthen his puppy love crush on the girl.

Tess was pretty anxious to see the girl again herself.

As they entered the city the energy inside the truck was palpable. By the time they pulled in front of the hospital they were buzzing to get out and get back with their people.

Glenn was first, followed by Maggie and Tara, Abraham and Rosita climbing down from the front and Eugene and Gabriel not even bothering to move to get out. They all walked ahead through the fence just as Tess caught the briefest of glances at Daryl walking towards them with Beth in his arms as she started climbing down.

 _'Poor thing.'_ she thought to herself as she turned around to help Luke down the big steps. She could only imagine how worn out the girl must have been after everything she had been through.

Then she heard it.

Maggie's wails.

The unequivocal sound of pain. Despair. Loss.

She turned back quickly, seeing Maggie collapsed on the ground and Glenn holding her tightly, and this time took the time to really evaluate just what she had seen before. And her heart broke at the sight.

It wasn't a tired out Beth that Daryl was carrying. It was a dead Beth he was carrying. His own tears falling mutely to splash over her blood splattered hair and face.

She wasn't fast enough. Luke had already gotten his own clear view before she could pull his face against her chest to shield him from the scene.

"No, don't!" she told him quickly, even though she knew it was far too late. "Jus....." she couldn't even finish. Her own grief hitting hard and fast.

"Dammit." she whispered to herself.

Not another one.

Not again.

Not Beth.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'How Lucky I Am...' quote is from Winnie the Pooh, and I had always thought it was written by the author/creator of the books A. A. Milne, but google is telling me that that line never actually appears in a single Winnie the Pooh book, and instead comes from the Evans G. Valens book/movie A Long Way Up: The Story Of Jill Kinmont and was most likely used by a Disney writer for one of their Pooh Bear stories and/or shows. But I've always known it to be attributed to Pooh Bear, so, that's what we're going with folks.


	16. How To Lose Friends And Alienate People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is much shorter than it was suppose to be, it was suppose to be part of a longer chapter that dealt with the trip to Virginia but I felt bad about the wait and wanted to get something out. And fair warning, I'm having some severe writer's block because other than a specific scene or two, I am having some major trouble with the space of time between Beth's death and the group's arrival to Alexandria so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up. But, as always, thanks for all the support and kudos. And, now, patience.

She should have left the truck. Should have at least had the decency and respect to offer her, what would only be meaningless, support and condolences to Maggie. And the others. Several things she _should_ have done.

But she didn't. Never even tried. She climbed back into the fire truck and tucked herself as tightly as she could into the back corner and did what felt the most natural and familiar, held Luke close to her and did her best to quietly shush his crying as she fought off her own. After a long while when the crying outside had started to quiet down and one by one members of the group started loading back into the truck themselves she didn't pay them any attention then either. Didn't talk to them. Didn't look at them. Didn't acknowledge any of them in any type of way.

Truth was, she didn't have the nerve to. 

Besides the fact she never felt like she was very good with consoling people, she was just too consumed with her own guilt and how much of a role she felt she had played in all of this. She was the one who had insisted Beth go off on her own with Luke. As far as she was concerned, she might as well have put the bullet in Beth's head herself.

She also knew the exact moment the same thought occurred to someone else.

It wasn't long after a few of the guys had gone off to try to find another working vehicle since they all wouldn't fit in the fire truck without sitting right on top of each other. She had felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise some and then she felt the heat on the side of her face. So, she did the cowardly thing and ignored that too. Spent the rest of the day pretending she didn't even know any of them were there. Not when they came back with another working car. Not during the drive out of the city - nobody wanting to stay in Atlanta after everything, despite the better chance of proper shelter - not during the makeshift funeral for Beth as she stood back with Luke out of the way and not when they pulled off the side of the country road to set up camp in the woods for the night. She didn't even bother to have the courtesy to ask Rick, or anyone, if there was anything she could do or needed to do to help out. She just waited until everyone cleared out and made a beeline with Luke into the wooded area that would be home for the night, made sure they stuck to themselves.

At some point early on in the night, Tyreese had come over to give them each a little food and water. She didn't know where they had even gotten it from, didn't particularly care either. She didn't give a 'thank you' of any kind, just an imperceptible nod. But, it was him that she spoke her first words in hours to. It was as he was walking away that she felt a weird itch, feeling a little trapped and she had called his name softly, not even realizing she had already started unbuttoning her shirt. Bob's shirt. When he came back over she stood to remove it completely, leaving her in just the thin blue shirt from the funeral home, and folded it up as if she was handling some form of delicate lace before handing it over to him, asking if he could please return it to Sasha for her. She sat back down with Luke before she had to see whatever look it was he would give her. Mercifully, he left without more than a parting 'ok'.

She had been pretty successful the majority of the night when it came to making herself invisible. A life long gift. Or curse, depending on how you wanted to look at it. But, as always, everything had a time limit. And her time for hiding was about to come to an swift end.

She had taken Luke off a little ways further into the woods for privacy when he had to go to the bathroom. She kept alert for any threats as he went, as well as making sure she had her back mostly turned to him to give him a sense of modesty. She turned back to him when she heard him finishing up and knelt down to help him tie the drawstring of the scrub pants he still had on from Grady's. The clothing alone another unwanted reminder of everything.

She couldn't wait to be able to find him some new clothes.

When she went to stand back up he stopped her by tugging on the hem of her shirt. 

It nearly broke her when she met his eyes.

She could already feel her own eyes watering up again and had to look away and swallow a few times before getting her voice steady.

"I know bud. I miss her too. But, uh..." she sniffed as wiped away the tear that was getting ready to roll down his cheek. "Well, we just gotta remember that we were lucky, right? Lucky to know someone so good that it makes sayin' goodbye so hard."

After a moment he nodded and then grabbed her hand. She pulled him a little closer with her hand on the back of his head to place a small kiss on his forehead before finally standing and bending to pick him up, his arms instantly going around her neck and legs around her waist as she started walking back to their sleeping area.

They didn't make it there.

When she was about halfway back she felt that heat on her again and looked up to find Maggie standing in front of her, waiting. The fire in her eyes matching the heated blaze Tess had been feeling on the side of her face ever since they left the hospital. The fire that she had desperately been trying to avoid all day, knowing she couldn't outrun it forever and now she had finally run out of road.

Tess froze in her place. Watching Maggie and she watched her with a swirl of emotions. Tess flinched slightly when Maggie opened her mouth, though no words came at first. It was like there was too much she wanted to say and didn't know where she wanted to start.

She found her footing after a moment.

" _You._ " 

It was practically a hiss that cut through Tess like a blade.

"How could you...... _why_ would you just send her off by herself like that? With no weapon or any kind of defense or...or.... _anything?!_ With your own boy no less? What the hell were you even _thinkin'?!_ "

Tess went to open her mouth but stopped when she realized she had nothing to say. What could she say? How could she defend herself when everything Maggie was currently spitting at her were the exact same things she herself had been thinking and wondering since the night they had first been taken. So she stayed silent, not able to even look Maggie in the face anymore - let alone her eyes - and took the licking she knew she more than deserved, rubbing Luke's back lightly when he tightened around her, affected by Maggie's anger and grief.

"I mean what kind of _mother_..."

" _Maggie_."

Tess looked back up slightly at Glenn's sudden interruption.

He walked over to his wife's side, placing a hand on her shoulder before speaking softly.

"Come on, that's enough now." he started while gently trying to coax her away but was stopped when she tore away from his grasp.

"No!" she looked at him as if she couldn't believe he would actually try to stop her from speaking. "No. It's not fair. _Why?_ Huh? Why does she," she pointed an accusing finger at Tess. "Get to get her boy back when Beth......Beth just......"

Tess watched as all the fight and fire dissipated and the sorrow overtook again. She wasn't even making words anymore, just sounds as Glenn brought his hands up to cradle her face tenderly and brought her close, whispering something in her ear that caused the damn to break and her tears to start up again. He wrapped an arm around her and was finally able to start leading her away, not before throwing an apologetic look Tess' way.

With the storm of Maggie no longer looming over her, Tess noticed that the confrontation had drawn the attention of nearly everyone else and the varying degrees of pity and whatnot on their faces was nearly suffocating. She got her feet moving again and, now that the path was clear again, quickly made her way back to her and Luke's secluded area. She settled herself back down against her chosen tree and resituated Luke so he was more laying in her lap, head resting against her shoulder. She knew he was already upset from Beth, it only being aggravated by Maggie's outburst. She also knew any silence right now would give her too much of an opportunity to delve into the rabbit hole of her own mind, which wouldn't be good for anyone. So, without any prompting from him, she immediately launched into Peter Rabbit.

She spent roughly an hour telling him story after story. She wasn't naive enough to think it was for his benefit. She knew, selfishly, at this point it was far more for her and her own sanity. She kept reciting tale after tale, everything that had ever been ingrained into her memory by her grandfather, even after he had fallen asleep.

She was just nearing the end of The Tale of Benjamin Bunny when she heard the crunching of leaves floating her way. She didn't pay it much mind, knowing whoever it was wouldn't be making their presence so well known to her if it was anyone she needed to be worried about. 

She didn't even bother looking up when she seen the figure pass her, still not having the balls to really look at any of them. But, even with her head lowered, once the body dropped down against the tree directly in front of her it was impossible to miss the crossbow. She finally glanced up just enough to see Daryl's face before immediately having to look back down. Besides the weight of shame and guilt she was feeling, along with the feelings of failing this group who had so wholeheartedly welcomed her and Luke in despite all the troubles they themselves had had with other people, she just couldn't handle the look on his face.

He looked about as wrecked as she felt. She could see it clear as day, even in the dark with no campfire light, she could see it. Hell, she could feel it rolling off of him in waves. 

It was odd, but she felt more like she had failed him than Maggie. 

He stayed quiet for a long while, which she was thankful for, same as always when she found herself in just his company.

Then he had to go and ruin it by talking. 

Figures. 

She could tell by the slight bounce in his foot that he wasn't sure how to go about saying whatever it was that was on his mind, and she couldn't decide if that was a good thing or bad thing.

"Wuddit right....what she said." he let out after a time. 

She shook her head as a way to wave him off. 

"She's hurt, she's grievin', she just lost her sister. She's got every right to vent any way she needs to."

"Not when she's placin' blame where it don't belong, she don't."

"Who says it doesn't belong?" 

He frowned at that. "Hey," he waited until she brought her eyes up to his again. "This ain't on you."

His frown deepened at the dubious look she gave him back.

"It's not _not_ on me either."

 It wasn't the best answer, or the answer he wanted to hear based on that deepened frown that was now turning into something a bit more serious.

"Beth wasn't yer responsibility. You barely even knew 'er."

_Oh._

Tess looked back up to him then, even able to look him the eyes without fidgeting any. She knew it wasn't right, was smart enough and knew herself well enough that the feeling currently crawling through her veins wasn't true or meant to be aimed at him, but, she was losing the battle of fighting off her own incoming storm now.

She knew he was only trying to stop her from blaming herself for something he felt wasn't her fault, but there was something about the way he said she barely knew Beth that started the embers to spark and the irritation to start over riding her rational thought.

Sure, maybe she didn't know Beth long or in the deeper way they all did, but she had connected with the young girl. She felt like they had truly formed what could have been a lasting bond during those couple of days. To hear him now say she _barely_ knew her felt like it was just undermining all of that. As if none of that was important. Like it wasn't a big deal for Tess to have been able to connect with another person in general but especially in the new world.

Frankly, it pissed her off.

She did her best to stay silent, begged her mind to get that growing anger reigned back in before she started spouting off things she either didn't mean or would most definitely regret later on.

Daryl watched her, closely, as her eyes hardened just a smidge - reminding him of that moment on the road when she had tackled him to the ground - and how she drew her cheeks in some to bite the insides. A clear indicator she was holding back.

For some unknown reason, he wished he could hear what it was she really wanted to say instead of the obvious detour she went with.

"So, what then, hmmm? Just you? You're the one to blame for all this?" 

It came out harsher than she ever would have wanted it to, but on top of an already emotionally draining day and now her anxiety screwing with her wiring, it was the best she could do while still tying not to lash out completely at someone who far from deserved it.

She hated that tenth of a second where he looked like a kicked puppy before he too got his mask back under control.

"I was 'spose ta keep her safe, so yeah, that's on me. Never shoulda left her alone."

Tess had to bite her lip again. She knew it wasn't what he meant, but she still couldn't stop herself from taking it as 'I never shoulda left her alone with you.'.

"Right." she answered back ruefully. "Except you didn't. You left her with _me_. _I_ left her alone. _I_ left both of them alone. _I_......" 

She faltered for a second, before Daryl watched the exact moment any kind of fight slowly left her like a deflating balloon and she lowered her head back down in defeat.

After a little time spent in the bubble of silence that seemingly only the two of them could get when with one another, he caught the way her fingers started tapping out an irregular pattern against her other arm that was wrapped around Luke. It wasn't just the random tapping she would do when she was feeling anxious, it was more controlled like the way she had done that first night at the funeral home when she had been tapping a song to herself. He almost felt like asking what song she had in mind, but ultimately decided to just let her be. When she spoke up again, it was much more subdued then before. 

"What a pair we are, eh?" 

"Hmmm?" 

"Throwing stones at each other's glass houses? Like we're both not perfectly aware we're blaming ourselves for the same thing."

He still didn't believe any of this should be put on her, but he couldn't deny the fact she was right. He did consider this a hundred percent on him, but, self deprecation recognized self deprecation, and he would be a fool to not be able to understand her line of thinking. Whether he agreed with her or not.

He ended up just grunting his agreement.

After some time she felt any remaining tension dissolve into the night air. It was fine for a while, until that same night air started getting unusually nippy for this time of year. Unfortunately, that simple act of nature was about to open up a whole new can of worms.

She shook off a slight shiver as she readjusted Luke in her lap some so she could hold him a little closer to her, making sure the small blanket she had found in the fire truck before was covering up his bare arms. She didn't know Daryl didn't miss her actions though.

He realized, for the first time since he had come over, that she no longer had on the long sleeved shirt she had been wearing and didn't see it anywhere in sight and he felt his brows knit together.

"What happened to yer shirt?"

"Gave it to Sasha." she answered, looking up to find him staring at her with confusion.

"Why?"

She gave a one shoulder shrug and a slight head tilt, as if the answer should be obvious.

"It was Bob's." she elaborated some when he still didn't seem to get what that had to do with anything. "She lost him, she deserves to have any bit of what's left of him."

The confusion vanished and was replaced by something else. It was almost a neutral look, but there was some kind of underlying edge that immediately had her feeling like she had said or done the wrong thing.

"Why do ya do that?" he asked lowly.

Now it was her turn to be confused. "Do what?"

"Act like it's some kinda contest of who's lost more?"

She started to shake her head some. "I'm not.."

She was cut off when he abruptly jumped to his feet, causing her a slight flinch by the rapid movement.

"You think she's the only one? That Maggie's the only one?" he carried on with barely contained, what she could only describe as plain anger.

"No, no no that, that's not..." she stuttered, put off and not sure how to handle the more surely version of him that she had first met, especially when she wasn't even sure what she had done to put him of.

"We've _all_ lost shit."

"I know, I...just," but she was once again cut off by something soft hitting the side of her face before feeling it fall to her arm. It wasn't anything that could have hurt, but she hadn't been able to look at him at the time, feeling small and intimidated by his terse demeanor and jumped at the contact.

" _Ain't no damn contest_." he finished briskly before stalking off and away from her.

It took her a few minutes to get her heart rate to calm down and get over the shock of whatever the hell had just happened. Once she did, she finally grabbed the object resting on her arm to find it was his own button up shirt. She had never even seen him take it off, or even figure out how he had done it so quickly.

She let out a massive sigh.

Great.

The first thought was to go find him to give it back, not wanting to risk him being cold during the night just because of her. But, she was also positive at this point he'd probably smack her for even trying.

So, with all the fight now officially and completely drained from her, she carefully, so as not to wake Luke, slid her arms into the sleeves. Letting his remaining warmth wrap around her like a blanket that still couldn't reach the cold chill that was settled deep within her bones.

 

 

 

 


	17. Interim Part. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek! I'm embarrassed by how long it took to get back to this. Life/personal issues and a massive case of writer's block. I was very stuck on what to do with the in between time of Beth and the hospital and when the group meet Aaron. But I'm feeling the itch again and I'm hoping things will come regularly now and won't be months in between updates.   
> Trigger Warnings this chapter: Suicide

Tess watched with tired, bleary eyes as the sun started peaking through the trees, slowly but surely lighting up the area to prepare for a new day. She never did get any real kind of sleep during the night, save for dosing off for twenty minutes here and there. Not that she was surprised or expected anything else. As exhausted and bone tired as she was, her mind wouldn't quiet down much. Besides all the major stuff like the loss of Bob and Beth and the fall outs with Maggie and Daryl, some time in the early hours of the morning her mind circled to the boy still fast asleep in her arms.

She had sent him off without her. Again. 

At the church, when the walkers had broken through, she sent him off alone with Carl while she helped Michonne fend off the intruding walkers some. Sure, she knew that given the situation and quickly impending threat that it was the best option. But, it had been the best option when she sent him off with Beth alone too. Just look how that turned out. Now, all she could think was that she was constantly putting him in danger and then leaving him alone. It was a shitty feeling, like she could never do right by him despite how hard she tried.

And those fucking hospital scrubs.

If she didn't get him into some new clothes soon she was sure she'd lose it, fully, finally.

It was the only thing she could think about. It had her ready to crawl out of her skin. She tried to busy herself with Luke once he had woken, probably due to the fact that she was squirming around so much trying _not_ to disturb him. She had taken him off so they could both relieve themselves and, when that was done, had made sure he had some of the leftover water and food from the night before. While he was slowly munching on that, she took to pacing around in front of him while he watched silently. She knew she was affecting him, knew he always got upset when she was clearly distressed, but she couldn't stop it. She felt like she was about to explode and damn near wanted to pull her hair out. Something, anything to fend off the rapid anxiety building in her chest.

"You look like you're about ta bolt."

She didn't bother stopping her pacing or the snarky comment that left her lips.

"Why, so you can sic your guard dogs on me to drag me back?"

Rick paused and furrowed his brows. He knew everyone was having a rough time and struggling at the moment, himself included. They had just lost two important members of their group, everyone, even the newer ones who hadn't known Beth or Bob were clearly being affected. But Tess, she looked like she was spiraling big time. Even the other morning when he had postponed their continued search for Luke and Beth she hadn't been in this bad a state. She was openly unhappy with his decision, but she hadn't been this outright aggressive with him.

"Hey." he attempted but was completely ignored by her. He stepped into her path and stopped her with a firm hand on her shoulder, again like the other morning not missing the tiny flinch she gave at the contact. "Hey, what's going on?"

She contemplating knocking his hand off her but let out a harsh breath through her nose instead and finally met his gaze, somewhat, before letting her eyes drift to Luke.

"He needs new clothes." she told him quietly.

He let his own eyes follow hers to Luke, slightly confused for just a moment before the real meaning of her words became clear - _She_ needed any visual reminders of everything gone.

"Hey Rick?"

They both turned to see Glenn standing somewhat awkwardly nearby.

"I can go out with her, try to gather up some more supplies." he offered.

He wasn't thrilled about the idea. They had just gotten everyone back together, it didn't particularly sit well with him to let them go off for something that didn't really need to be done. But, Tess was clearly in a bad head space, and he was pretty sure if he tried to prevent her from doing this in any way she'd just take off on her own, his threats of sending people out to bring her back be damned. He knew Glenn could be trusted, wouldn't allow either of them to go into any unnecessary dangerous places. And, plus, there were talks to be had and decisions to be made about what their next steps were going to be from here. He didn't have the time to deal with this himself. So, with a heavy sigh, he conceded.

"Alright, fine. _But_ , no going out too far. _I mean it_. And I want you both back here in two hours, no longer." he stressed sternly to both of them.

Glenn nodded. "Two hours. Stay close. You got it."

When his eyes came back to rest on her Tess also nodded her agreeance before again looking at Luke with a worried expression. Once again Rick picked up on her unsaid words.

"I'll look after him, promise." he assured her.

She was hesitant, thinking how she was just once again leaving him behind, but she needed to do this. And she did trust Rick, so she nodded along wordlessly to that as well before giving him, what she hoped, was a thankful look.

The last squeeze to her shoulder let her know he received it clearly.

-x-

A short time later Tess and Glenn were on the road. They had decided - Glenn had decided - that since the group that had gone out scavenging the day before had gone east it would best for them to head west. She wasn't thrilled about being away from Luke, again, but she also couldn't deny the fact that being out on the road and moving with the purpose of doing something productive was settling her nerves some. The only real downfall was Glenn. She could see, from the glances she would steal at him, that he was a little fidgety himself suddenly. She had her guess as to why, but had no desire to address it at all. 

"So I'm thinking....: he began after a few minutes into their quest. "Given our restrictions and all, our best bet is probably looking out for abandoned cars? Hopefully we'll come across some luggage, clothes, maybe some other stuff we could use. What do you think?"

"Yeah, sounds good." she mumbled back before stopping for a second and bending, then twisting her body around some with a slight grimace.

Glenn stopped as well when he noticed.

"Hey, you ok?" he inquired with concerned.

"Yeah, yeah." she said with a slight wave of her hand, not wanting to be fussed over. "Just.......side is cramping up some."

"Do you need to stop for a few minutes? Or maybe we should just head back.."

"No." she shot the idea down quickly. "No, I'm fine. Just sat up too long last night, should have laid down for a bit. I'm good."

Like most of the other members, when it came to things she tried to brush off, he looked dubious.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." she straightened up so she could look at him properly. "Please, just wanna get this done." 

He looked at her for a few moments, trying to gauge how honest she was being, before giving a massive sigh.

"Alright. But you get another attack, of any kind, and we're going back."

"Fair enough."

They began walking again, not before he insisted she at least take a few drinks of water from the canteen he had brought with him. They kept a steady pace going forward, though coming up empty as far as finding any vehicles to rifle through. It was roughly fifteen minutes before Glenn finally broke the silence again.

"Hey, so um," he started nervously, clearly trying to work through what he wanted to say. "About Maggie...."

And there it was. It was exactly what she had guessed he was fidgety about once they got onto the road, and exactly what she didn't want to get into.

"Glenn......." she had to stop walking again and scrubbed a hand down her face. The current situation was so uncomfortable and she wasn't sure how to really handle it or express herself. As per usual. "Just....it's alright, ok? I.......I get it, ya know? I really do. No......no hard feelings or ill will or anything, just......" she waved her hand in the air in front of her. "It's fine."

She could tell he wasn't exactly thrilled with the answer. Or maybe it was just he wasn't sure how to go about the conversation either. She imagined it probably was just as weird for him, trying to defend his wife while also trying to console the person who had gotten hit with his wife's outburst while also sticking by her side and defending her actions. Tess just wished everyone would understand there was no need. She didn't want apologies when she didn't feel they were warranted in any way. She didn't want the pity.

She watched as Glenn's shoulders slumped some, knowing this was as far as the conversation on this topic would go and also probably the best outcome he could achieve, all things considered.

"Ok. Just one more thing then."

She couldn't control the way her body turned away from him just tiniest bit in apprehension. "What?"

"Well I, I got you something."

"You.....got me something?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

He suddenly went a little shy.

"Yeah. Well no. Well, actually I got something for you and Luke. Except, really, I guess it's kind of something for the whole group?"

Tess almost wanted to laugh at his rambling and the way he seemed confused by his own actions. She simply tilted her head to indicate she was waiting. He then reached into the bag he had brought with him and pulled out a small paperback book and handed it to her with somewhat downcast eyes. She took a hold of it so she could read the title, only to be surprise by it.

**Practicing American Sign Language**

She was a little speechless as to what to say, so Glenn took the opportunity to continue.

"When we were on the way to D.C, we stopped at a library for the night. I happened to see that when we were looking around the place and, I don't know. I mean, I know you and Luke have your own way of communicating and all, but I know it's still gotta be tough at times. I thought maybe learning some things would be helpful. And I thought it might be nice for the rest of us to learn some things too, that way we can all talk back and forth with him."

Now Tess was completely speechless. For one, she didn't even remember telling Glenn anything about Luke not talking. Maybe she had told Maggie? Maybe that was one of the things she had told her and Bob and Sasha when she had first met them. It was hard to say, there was so much of that time frame that was completely fuzzy to her. But, more then all that, she was so overwhelmingly touched by his thoughtfulness.

She cleared the small lump in her throat.

"Thank..... _thank you_ , Glenn. This is great." she told him with complete sincerity and a small, but genuine smile.

He returned it with a small pat on her elbow. "You're welcome."

She tucked the small book into one of the pockets of her - Bob's - cargo pants and they continued their way. A much more calming silence befalling them this time. It was another ten minutes or so before they finally came upon a promising find. They were just getting ready to pass by a overcrowded area of brush when they both slowed to a stop. They both stepped forward and started slowly clearing the thick bushes and vines to finally reveal a big enough opening for them to see through.

Glenn already looked like he had won a prize.

"A dirt road." he declared, triumphantly.

"Dirt roads usually lead somewhere." Tess thought out loud.

"Exactly." Glenn pushed the brush aside just a little more for him to squeeze through before holding the branches aside for Tess to get through without anything snagging on her injured side too much. Once they were both on the actual road he gave a quick scan of the immediate area before checking that his gun was still secure on his thigh holster. "Stay alert." he warned.

She nodded her understanding while also checking that her own gun and knife were both in easy reach. They walked along silently, all the while keeping eyes open for anything that might become a problem. There were a handful of dead walkers but, besides that there was nothing. Not until they came to the end of the road that led right to a modestly sized cabin. The property was an absolute mess - vines growing up the side, several broken shutters, gutters clogged and stuffed with leaves, overgrown grass and weeds in the front yard area and a beat up rust bucket of a truck parked in front.

It was the truck that put them both on edge instantly. It stood to reason that the owner could very well be close by. Wordlessly, Glenn took his gun out and held it in front of him while Tess did the same except she kept hers lowered in front of her slightly, following his lead when he motioned for her to get behind him before they slowly started creeping towards the cabin and then heading off around the side so they could check the back for any signs of life. The back of the property was, seemingly, just as deserted as the front had been. That is, until, they heard a very distinctive click and a small sob that rose the hairs on both their necks. 

They both went stiff and pointed their weapons straight and at the ready, Glenn giving a sideways glance to Tess to asset if she was ready to move forward to investigate. She nodded her affirmative and together they moved in tandem to the edge of the backyard to discovered that the property was on a slight slope. When they got to the edge and peered down, they saw a figure sitting on a rock in front of what appeared to be a ditch facing away from them. As they looked on, they could see the man's shoulders start to shake some as more cries left him. Glenn once again looked towards Tess, giving a pointed look to her outstretched gun as a sign for her to stay on guard why he lowered his a tad.

"Hello?" he called out.

The man gave no visible reaction that he had heard them at all, and Glenn was just about to call out again when he finally turned around to look at them.

He was a white male, dirty blond hair, maybe in his early 40s, and, even from the distance between them, the pair could easily see how dead behind the eyes he looked. It was almost as disturbing as seeing the actual dead. And the way he just stared at them with complete nothingness in his face and gaze was beyond unsettling. It was a stare down between the three for an extended period of time before he finally spoke up in a gravelly voice that was fully devoid of any emotion.

"Whatever you find, take it. It's yours." he told them as he turned back around. "Doesn't matter anymore anyways."

Glenn and Tess looked at each other, neither really sure how to handle the situation. Finally, Glenn dropped his weapon to his side completely as he made slow steps towards the stranger, Tess right on his heels.

"Hey man, are you alright?" Glenn ventured, cautiously. "Maybe, maybe we can help?"

The man just gave a humorless laugh.

"Nobody can help me now."

Tess thought she understood. She thought, clearly, he must have been bitten or scratched or infected in some way and was dying. She thought this was just a man who knew he was on borrowed time and was coming to terms with it.

She was wrong.

When her and Glenn finally got close enough to come around to the front of the man they saw what had caused the click noise that first drew their attention. In the man's hands was a sawed off shotgun, pointing straight up at himself. The sight instantly had Tess raising her gun again, Glenn somewhat doing the same, but it was the other sight in front of them that had her lowering hers in shock.

In front of the man, in the small ditch that had been dug up, were three bodies resting inside at the bottom.

A woman who looked to have been around the same age as him and two twin boys who couldn't have been any older then ten.

All with a bullet wound in the center of their foreheads.

"I couldn't do it anymore. This world, what it's become......" he broke off as the tears started rolling down his face and another sob racked his body. "I wouldn't do it, you hear me?! I love my family and there was no way I was gonna make them live through that anymore!" 

Tess could feel her nerves shooting up. The more the guy ranted the louder he was getting. Plus he had started waving his shotgun around wildly. Not only was she worried about his yells drawing unwanted attention but he was rapidly becoming more and more erratic and there was no way to tell what else he might be capable of.

"Glenn....." she said lowly, nervously.

He held up a hand to her, a silent gesture to just hold back and let him handle things.

"Look we, we've all been through things.....we've all - "

But before Glenn could continue whatever speech he had planned, the man swiftly lifted the shotgun up under his chin.

Glenn and Tess both yelled out a 'No!' at the same time.

But it was to no avail.

He pulled the trigger, the blast taking off half his face and sending blood and brain matter flying all around him before the body hit the ground with a thud.

Tess brought a hand up to her mouth, instantly feeling the bile rise in her throat. The scene was gruesome enough as is, but it wasn't just that.

She couldn't help but be reminded of another moment in her life.

Glenn was just as stunned. He couldn't move for a few minutes, couldn't really think of a thing to say or do. It wasn't until he spared a glance as Tess that he finally got his mouth working again.

"C'mon." he all but whispered, solemnly with a hand placed on her elbow to start guiding her back towards the front of the cabin. "We'll see what we can find, then we gotta get back."

Tess just nodded along, knowing full well her voice wouldn't work right now.

-x-

They made fast work of searching the cabin. They even managed to gather a pretty impressive haul. Clothes, a small first aid kit that was a little more then half full, several blankets, a small can of gasoline, two one gallon jugs of water, some spare batteries and a small box of can goods.

It didn't feel like nearly the victory or win it should have.

They made their way back to their camp with roughly five minutes to spare on the two hour time limit Rick had given them. He was quite pleased with the load they were able to find.

Neither one of them made mention of what else they had found that day.

 

 

 

 


End file.
